Unintended
by katiemcullen
Summary: Unintended, meaning it’s not like I deliberately planned for my life to change the way it did. It’s not like I changed the way I did intentionally. It was purely fate, purely destiny. OOC-AH
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: We in no way shape or form own Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's characters. We also don't own any pieces of music, movies, and other random things that might show up. We do this purely for the joy of expressing ourselves and having fun while doing it.**

**Authors' Note: Bemylullaby here! Before you ask…No, you are not seeing doubles. So please for us, put down the bottle of Scotch, put down the glass of gin and tonic…**_Please, put down the alcoholic beverages, as well as your bongs *cough*Michael Phelps*cough*_**..this is a collab between Katie M Cullen and I. We've finally gotten off our asses and posted. Of course note without a little poking from myself to get Katie to write and such. **

**It's Wednesday…we plan to post every Wednesday. That is unless life decides to visit and it might come a little later than planned. **

**So with that said…sit back and enjoy the ride. **_Put on your seat belt kiddies, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and please keep all hands, arms and feet inside the vehicle at all times. Try not to scream on the big drops. _** Don't forget to tip your waitress! :D **

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Unintended.

An adjective.

Meaning not deliberate or intentional.

Meaning it's not like I _deliberately_ planned for this to happen, not like I _intentionally_ wanted to hurt his feelings.

The words that I wrote down on that piece of paper echoed through my mind.

_I'm sorry. I can't do this. Forgive me, I can't blame you if you hate me. I hate myself right now, too. Just so you know, I love you. I always have, and always will. –B_

Unintended.

Meaning it's not like I _deliberately_ planned for everything to change the way it did. It's not like I _intentionally_ opened the door knowing exactly what waited for me on the other side.

The smiling faces of my friends, my _new_ friends flashed through my mind. The countless hours we spent laughing, crying together. All the late nights I'd spent lying around the common room with _him_ talking until the wee hours of the morning. The moonlight serving as our only light.

Unintended.

Meaning, I, Isabella Marie Swan, didn't _deliberately_ move to California _intentionally_ knowing that when I got there a whole new chapter of my life was waiting to begin. I wasn't planning on meeting the people I met, doing the things I did.

But it happened.

You can't change the past, you can only change the future.

The question was…did I want it to change?

If I would've known what was awaiting me in California would I have gone?

Would I have gone and risked all the things I knew, the things I loved, for a new life?

After all, if it was not meant to be, it would not have happened. None of this would've happened. If I was supposed to be who I was before all of this, then I would've stayed home and become the girl I thought I was. It was fate, even if fate led me to this cliff.

What is meant to be is meant to be. Everything happens for a reason. Every touch, every tear, every word, every heartbeat happens for a reason. It all comes down to fate, and I watched as the waves crashed below me before making my decision. If I was meant to die here, alone with just my thoughts as company, then I was. Fate is fate, you can't change it.

Millions of questions flooded my mind as I stood atop the cliffs staring down at the ocean below. The smell of salty ocean air tickled my senses, the cool ocean breeze blew against my skin. The round beads of water falling from the sky soaking my body from head to toe.

I took a step closer to edge.

I was stupid for allowed myself to do this. For allowing myself to succumb to the feelings I locked deep inside me since _that_ day. For allowing myself to believe that something so blatantly wrong for me was what I wanted.

I looked down at the water and I could tell the storm was close. The waves roughly crashed against the rocky sides of the cliff.

"_Bella, promise me you'll never leave me. Promise you'll never leave me," he pleaded, taking my hand in his. "No matter what happens after we graduate Bella, promise you'll never leave me."_

"_I promise. I'll be here, always here," I placed my hand on his chest right over his heart. "I'm yours forever, I'll never leave you, no matter what."_

The memory of that day played over and over in my mind. I felt the strong guilt hit my body in the form of wind. Truth of the matter was, I should feel guilty. I made the promise to him a year and a half ago not to leave him.

Yet, here I was. Standing on top of cliff. Dealing with my problems the only way I felt I could.

I held my arms out, the wind blowing against my body. I truly felt like I was flying.

"I love you. I'm so sorry," I whispered, taking the last step and staring deeply down at the threatening shore below.

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**Welcome to the dark side! We have the Cullen boys!  
**

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	2. Ready, Set, Don't Go

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight or any of the characters that Stephenie Meyer created, even though they are pretty amazing. **

**Authors' Note: So, here it is. The next chapter of **_**Unintended**_**, it's written by me, bemylullaby. The next one will be courtesy of katiemcullen, because that's just how we're going to do it. Make sure to stop by and send her some love too! :D **_Thank you for putting up with our shenanigans!!_

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"She's waitin' on my blessings before she hits the open road.

Baby get ready, get set, don't go..."

_-"Ready, Set, Don't Go"_

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**July, Twelve Months Earlier **

_Bang_.

I slammed the trunk down on my car, bringing my hand up to my forehead to wipe the sweat off. Turning around I looked at the faces of the two most important men in my life.

My father, Charlie, his face was the first I noticed, the first I turned to. He looked lost, hurt almost. His normal playful smile was forced.

"Bells, it's not too late you know," Charlie said as he pulled me into his arms. "You can stay here. You got accepted to Washington State. You could come home on the weekends."

"Dad," I said sternly as I looked up at him.

I didn't want to have this conversation with him _again_. It would be same thing as always. 'Bells, don't go. California is so far away,' 'Who's going to cook for me?' 'You're gonna leave your old man by himself?'

"Please, don't do this. I made my decision, I'm going. Today," I sighed.

"I'm gonna miss you, Bells. I'm not gonna lie."

"I know dad, I know. I'll be home for Thanksgiving and then again for Christmas. Hell, you could even escape the frozen tundra that is Washington in December and join me in sunny Southern California."

"We'll see, Bells." He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "You sure you're going to be okay driving down by yourself? Just say the word, I'll go call the station right now. I'll drive down with you."

"I'll be fine, dad. I'll stop in Portland tonight, drive down to Redding, where I'll stop. Then from there I should be able to make it to La Jolla, Dad. If I need to I can stop in Los Angeles or something. I promise I'll call you every time I stop to get gas. I'll be fine. Please stop worrying about me."

"I can't help it, Bella. My little girl is growing up and moving away, going to college in California. It's my job to worry," he chuckled.

"Whatever, Dad. Take care of yourself, alright?"

"I will. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Jake over here…" Charlie smirked, looking over at Jacob.

_Jacob._

Jacob Black, my best friend since I could remember. He was my first love, my first kiss, my first date, my first…well my first _everything_. If there was one thing that was constant in my life it was him. He was always there with me, besides me, holding me, whenever I needed him.

He picked up when I fell off the monkey bars after breaking my arm for the first time. He comforted me when I finally realized why I never had a mother, that she died bringing me into this world. He made me realize it wasn't my fault, how I should think of it as a blessing. He held my hand and kissed me for the first time in the back of the Port Angeles Movie Theatre when we were thirteen. He held my hair back as I threw up the morning after the first time I'd gotten drunk at my first high school party. He took me to my first dance, took me to prom. Gave me the "cliché" senior prom night. He was my life. He knew me better than I knew myself. There wasn't a memory that I had that didn't include him.

And I was leaving him.

"Bella? Earth to Bella?" Charlie said waving his hand in front my face.

"Wh-what? Sorry dad, I was just thinking," I said shaking my head.

"Well, be careful driving. Remember to pull over if you start to get sleepy," Charlie reminded.

"I will Dad. I love you."

"I love you too Bells," he sighed.

At this point I was holding back the tears waiting to escape my eyes. If I let them see me cry, it would be all over and I wouldn't be leaving until tomorrow. I had to be strong.

I gave my dad one final hug and pulled away. I glanced over at Jacob and then back at my dad.

"I'm gonna go inside. Watch the game or something. Have a safe drive Bells," he stuttered before going back into the house.

Looking over at Jacob who was kicking the small pieces of gravel along my driveway. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, his head down, staring at his feet.

"Jacob? Baby," I whispered taking a step towards him.

He took a step back.

"Jake…" I whispered again taking two more steps towards him.

He looked up from the floor. His brown eyes catching mine. I couldn't help but notice the glazed, watery look on them.

"You promised you wouldn't do this." I took one final step towards him. Our bodies were only inches apart.

"And you promised you'd never leave…" his voice empty, hallow and hurt.

"Don't do this please, Jake. I want to leave remembering the good times we had," I pleaded, taking his hand in mine.

I brought his warm hand to my face, his palm cupped my cheek.

He took a deep breath. "Don't go, Bella. Please…"

"Jake, I have to. We have talked about this. You said it was okay. You said that I could go. I asked you."

"I know. I just thought I'd ask you to stay one last time," he sighed, "For good measure?" a smirk crept up on his face.

"I'll call you everyday, just like we planned."

"I'll call you first thing in the morning at seven before you have class, before I have to be at the shop," Jacob reminded me.

_Like I would forget, he better call, every day, every morning. If I was going to get through this, he has to call._

"And I'll call you every night at nine to say good night. I'll text you every spare moment I have," I added.

"You better," he chuckled, "God Bella, I'm gonna miss you."

He dropped the hand from my cheek and wrapped his arms around my body. Leaning my head against his chest I could hear his heart beating with mine.

I would miss this. Miss the nights I'd spend with Jacob sleeping, cuddling in each other's arms.

But this was something I had to do. I needed to get out off the reservation, out of La Push, out of the rainy state of Washington that I called home.

It's what _needed_ to be done.

"I'm gonna miss you, Jacob Black," I muttered into his chest.

I couldn't hold it in any longer. A single tear fell from my eyes. Jacob, being Jacob, knew something was up, loosening his grip on my body he looked down at me.

"Bella, you said you weren't going to do this," he mocked wiping the tear off my cheek.

"Shut up!" I cried burying my face into his chest.

"Hey, don't blame me. You're the one that went all 'I-need-to-find-who-I-am' and decided to go to college in California. Washington State is a great school."

"I need to do this, for me, for _us._"

"I know Bella," he paused, "Take care of yourself, alright?"

"I will, Jacob. Take care of _yourself_. Keep an eye on my dad for me please?"

He nodded silently and bent down, his forehead softly touching mine. Leaning in, his lips softly grazed mine. I snaked my arms around his neck pulling my body closer to his, deepening the kiss.

I would miss this.

We pulled apart at the sound of someone clearing their throat. I laughed as I turned around to see my second "father", Billy Black, in his wheelchair. Charlie leaning on the handles behind him.

"Goodbye, Billy," I exclaimed, running over to him to give him one final hug.

"Goodbye, Isabella. Have fun in California," he said, "Don't worry about these two." he gestured at Charlie and Jacob, "I'll keep an eye on them" he winked at me and smiled.

"Thanks." I smiled, kissed his cheek and went to hug my dad one last time.

"Bye, Dad."

"Bye, Bells," he sighed, kissing the crown of my head once more.

I walked over to the driver's side of my car where Jacob was holding the door open.

"Drive safely, Bella. Don't forget us," Jacob smirked.

I playfully hit him on the chest and got in the car. Stuffing my key in the ignition, I rolled the window down just as Jacob crouched down leaning into the car.

His warm hand cupped my cheek once more as he kissed me.

"I love you, Isabella Swan. Never forget that."

"I love you too, Jacob Black. Don't _you_ ever forget that," I whispered kissing him once more.

He stepped away from the car.

I took a deep breath and put the car in reverse, slowly backing the car out of the driveway. I stopped for a second before driving off.

Looking back at the house I grew up in. Looking back at the three men standing in front of it. Waving like crazy fools, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. I would always have a home here in La Push. I would always have

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	3. Home

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight or any of the characters that Stephenie Meyer created, even though they are pretty amazing.  
**

**a/n- hey there, Happy Gin Wednesday yall! Katie here, yes, I do exist! Heh. So…Aileen is in vegas! She sends her loooove. I'm jealous, what else is new?! **

**News—they cast the pack! *squeals* ahh! I wanna bang a few. *giggles***

**I wanna give a shout out (and I'm sure Aileen does too) to our lovely Aussie friend, miztrezboo! She rocks our American socks off. I love her. End of story!**

**Well, actually beginning of story! I'll leave you to read. **

**So here it is…the second legit chapter of Unintended! Enjoy!**

**

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**"**Maybe surrounded by a million people I still feel all alone, let me go home,"**

**-"**_**Home"**_

_**Michael Buble**_

_**

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**_**Bella P.O.V.**

I was nervous, full-out clammy hands nervous. Butterflies thudded in my stomach, and it was because I was afraid of who my roommate was.

_What if they're a freak? What if I'm stuck with someone who smells? Oh God, they'll probably hate me._

I stumbled over to the room assignments table and got my information. I grabbed a campus map and I meandered my way through the crowded campus. It was insane, people were hugging their parents goodbye, some were on their phones, and some were just walking around lost, like myself. I wrestled with my suitcase, bag and cardboard box as I climbed the few steps to my dorm. I watched helplessly as my rolling suitcase toppled over and fell down the few steps, landing with a loud thud on the cement.

"Of course," I spat as I stared at my pathetic suitcase lying on the ground. I balanced the box on the railing, while trying not to let my duffel slide off my shoulder. I attempted to stoop down and get my suitcase up. My cell phone rang and vibrated in my back pocket.

"_Maybe surrounded by, a million people I still feel all alone, I just wanna go home oh, I miss you, you know and I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you each one a line or two 'I'm fine baby, how are you?' well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough my words were cold and flat and you deserve more than that…_"

God, college was already hard and I wasn't even moved in yet. If I couldn't manage to carry all my stuff up a few stairs and answer my phone, I was doomed.

This was going to be one difficult year.

"Would you like some help with that?" a smooth, velvety voice asked. Of course Mr. Sexyhelper would totally come to my rescue as my butt was vibrating and singing Michael Buble.

It was either Charlie or Jacob calling, they had their "Home" ringtone. Because, well…it was home. They were home to me. It just made sense.

I looked up and couldn't help _but_ stare. I watched his perfectly-formed lips as they twisted into a tiny half smile, it was crooked and it gave me butterflies. My voice was lost, my brain's functions were lost.

_What was two plus two again? Six?_

I tried not to stare, but honestly I just couldn't get enough. I drank his features in like I was in the desert, suffering from dehydration. This guy had a face so perfect, it was hard to even form a coherent thought. His face was hard and defined, just like a model straight out of an Abercrombie and Fitch Ad. He just had the look about him. He screamed "sex". If you weren't drawn in by his looks alone, the eyes would get you. I was completely enveloped by his eyes, his damn green eyes. They were so bright and exciting, and still enticing at the same time. He looked like he owned the universe. He had a sexy, confident air about him, like he could have any piece of ass he demanded. His long sleeved shirt was pushed up to his forearms, exposing the smooth, chiseled muscles that his forearms held. Hell, if that's what only his forearms had….damn. I was fucked. And his hair was like a porno. No, his hair was just straight up sex, it was bronze sex piled on top of his head. It was like he cared, but he still didn't give a crap about what anyone thought. I only dreamed of an amazing self-confidence like his. I wanted to look away, but I just could not find the strength right now.

I felt my lips part, completely gaping at him and I speedily snapped my mouth shut.

"Uh, yeah," I uttered, "I could use some help."

"Clearly," he stated, chuckling at my failure.

He grabbed my heavy suitcase and lifted over his shoulder effortlessly.

I scoffed, "Of course."

My ass began singing again, and vibrating. I let the damn thing go.

"Michael Buble?" he questioned.

Yet again, my ass began singing. I wanted to slam my phone on the ground and watch it break into a million pieces for interrupting my time with Mr. Sexyhelper.

"Yes. Don't make fun of me like Jacob does, he hates it," I added.

I felt like it was sensory overload. I tried to carry on a conversation while my phone was blaring Michael Buble tunes.

_Shit, shit, shit. I just had to mention Jacob. Stupid no-filter. _

"I wasn't going to. Michael is amazing,"

I smiled in a deep agreement, "He is."

My ass began singing, yet again.

"I could um, get that for you." Mr. Sexyhelper offered.

I thought about that for a second. That would mean Mr. Sexyhelper would have to touch my ass, or at least grace my ass with his hand's presence. That was probably as close to my ass his hand will ever be. I'm game.

"That would be great," I smiled, hoisting the boxes in my arms so I could get a better grip.

I felt my phone leave my back pocket, and was sourly surprised when I didn't feel his hand touch my butt. Damn.

"Hello?" he answered, "Uh, no…this is not Bella. This is Edward…"

And that was all I needed to hear. His name was Edward. Sexy Edward! The name was perfect for him.

Edward.

He looked like an Edward.

An Edward.

An Edward, an Edward, an Edward.

His mannerisms were so proper, and he was so clean cut. He just had that old-fashioned look to him. Like he was from another time.

He was just like an Edward, because he _was_ an Edward.

Hearing my name come out of his mouth sounded so refreshing. It was like my name was a normal word in his vocabulary. It just rolled off his tongue, beautifully. I just wasn't expecting it. It was almost like I was wearing a name tag, and he decided to say my name. It caught me off guard, but when I really thought about it, there was no way he _wouldn't_ learn my name.

"Here, it's Jacob," Edward chuckled, handing me my cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Bells, what the hell was that?" Jacob cried.

"I just got here, Jake this is a really bad time right now, I'm trying to get up the steps with my stuff…"

"Oh, is _Edward_ helping you?"

"Um, yes as a matter of fact, he is!" I told him rather coldly.

"Bella…" he growled protectively.

"Jacob. I'm fine. Tell Charlie I am too, I have to go into my room and unpack everything."

"Alright Bells, take care of yourself."

"I will, Jacob. I love you," I added.

"I love you too, Bells."

I snapped my phone shut before slipping it into my jeans again.

I looked up at Edward, his eyes reeling me in like some sort of spell. It was sickening to me. How could he manipulate me like he controlled me? I barely knew him, dammit! His eyes were doing that sparkling, perfect thing again. I averted my gaze elsewhere, awkwardly waiting for our conversation to pick back up.

"So…Bella?" he asked, "What room are you in?"

I glanced up, surprised we had made it to the hallway already, "I'm right…here." I said, pausing and glancing up at the numbers. 1901.

Edward twisted his lips up into a smile that made my bones a little too spongy for my liking, "I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of each other than I originally thought."

I gave him a questioning look, pleading him with my eyes to continue.

"Looks like we're roommates," he said, rocking back on his feet.

"What?" I spat, "I signed up for an all-girls dorm, not coed. And I'm sharing with _you_?"

Already, I wasn't getting what I wanted out of college. I wanted an all-girls dorm, not some stupid coed dorm with beer pong being played on my bed.

"No, we have other roommates," he assured as his lips twitched into a crooked smile.

Oh god, those lips…

_God, Bella, get a grip. Whatever happened to Jacob?_

So now I don't have to worry about one person not liking me, but more than one.

Fan-flippin-tastic.

He opened the door and I walked in. felt like a meal by the way they stared at me…I just stared. No hellos, no 'nice to meet yous'. Nothing. Just a stare down with the people I guess I was living with

"Hi, Bella!" a short girl with black spiky hair greeted me. She waved her hand frantically in greeting before she grabbed my suitcase from my grip.

How she knew my name, I will never know.

"Er…hi…everyone," I stuttered.

"I'm Alice Cullen!" she exclaimed cheerfully. Her face was smiling so wide, so _happily _it almost made me nauseous, "We're going to be great friends!"

Then she leaned in to hug me, which I had to say, I couldn't _possibly_ return. I was too loaded down with my bag. It would've been an awkward and

"Hey there, Belllllla!" boomed a really tall and bulky dark-haired guy. He reminded me of a bouncer, or a bear or a football player. He just had that bulky, burly look about him. He could handle anything that got in his way, I'm sure of it, "Ich bin Emmett!"

"And that freak who just yelled at you, is Emmett," Alice giggled, "He looks like he could throw you across the country, but he's harmless, I swear!" she said, holding her hand up as though she was taking an oath, "Right, big brother?"

"I'm majoring in _Deutsch_." Emmett boomed, "That's _German_ in case you non-Germans didn't know."

"We know," the entire room told him.

My mouth formed into a small "O".

"And that sourpuss over there," she motioned to the tall blonde sulking at the table, "Is Rosalie Hale. No, she's not on her period all the time. That's just the way she is."

Rosalie's features were flawless. Never have I ever seen someone who could possibly be so _Barbie_, but so bitch. Her bright blue eyes sparked at the mention of her name, and not in a good way. Her golden hair hung down past her shoulders and was clipped back. She was another fashion-forward person, it was just something I could tell. She just looked like the type who knew how good she looked, and she probably used it to her advantage.

"Fuck you," Rosalie spat, flipping Alice the bird, "You're only tolerable in your sleep. When it's best to strangle you!"

"Girls…" Edward groaned.

On the other hand, maybe she was just as bitter as Alice warned.

Alice returned the same gesture with a smile, and about five times more energy than needed.

"Jasper, come reign in your girlfriend," Emmett boomed.

"Oh, Jasper!" she sang happily, "I have our new roommate here!"

I saw a man with blonde hair come out from a door. He was wearing a pair of worn-out jeans and a plain white cotton tee. He had an acoustic guitar slung over his shoulder, resting on his back. Light stubble adorned his face, and he had a laid back look about him, like nothing could make him uneasy, not even the awkward atmosphere in this room.

He had this amused smirk on his face that made me smile and seemed to automatically put me at ease.

"Pleased to meetcha, Bella," he said, his Southern accent slipping slightly.

"I'm Jasper Hale, darlin'," he paused to quickly duck his head, "My girl, Alice, here can be a handful. If you're gonna put up with her, she's a little insane."

"Jasper, you watch what you say about me!" Alice chirped as she smacked Jasper on the arm.

Her eyes met his and she planted a kiss on his cheek.

They were like the cliché artsy couple, always so into each other. They were so oblivious, yet so obvious to each other. It was pretty hysterical. Jasper stood at least a foot higher than his darling girlfriend, who probably held more energy than all of us put together.

I was just standing there, existing, avoiding the daggers Rosalie was shooting me with her eyes.

"Babe, lighten up! It's college! Party time!" Emmett boomed as he rested his hand on Rosalie's shoulder. "Remember all the fun we had last year? All those times we got caught sneaking out of each other's dorm rooms in the middle of the night. Thank god for coed dorms!"

Emmett glanced over at Edward with a smile, "That my dear brother, was the best idea you ever had," he added right before giving Rosalie's ass a quick smack causing quick playful yelp from her.

"Don't make me regret my decision, Em," Edward spat.

No, I take that back, Rosalie and Emmett were the cliché couple. Teenage hormones at their finest. They were like the bitchy cheerleader and the quarterback. The high school sweethearts every person hated, but secretly wished they were. They were the epitome of the "it" couple.

I watched in amusement as Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"And there's our Eddie-poo! Always making a play at the ladies…not!" Emmett chuckled, cracking himself up, "I see you've met our Bella-bear!"

"Yes, I have," he smirked, nodding in my direction.

Well, at least he knew I existed.

"Alice and Eddie, here, are twins along with Rose and Jasper. How cute, right? They probably feel each other's pain and shit. Have that weird freaky twin mind power thing going on. Bella-bear, we gotta stick together. We're on our own here, we never had anyone to co-womb with. We can be womb-mates and roommates!" He said in the most serious, sincerest tone as he draped his arm around my shoulder pulling me close to his body. I'm sure I looked like a dwarf compared to Emmett's large stature.

I laughed, "Yes, Emmett. We have to keep an alliance."

He nodded in understanding, "You're alright, Bella-bear. You need a kick ass nickname though. How about, Iz, or Izzy? I'm sure no one calls you that!"

"Oh God, Emmett…what the hell are you supposed to do with a German major?" Rosalie asked, massaging her temples.

He shrugged, "I can be one of those flight attendants for the German airlines. You know the one's that make you feel like you're in Germany before the plane even takes off."

"Well, Bella, now that you've become acquainted with your roommates, let's get you settled, huh?" Alice asked, rolling my suitcase through an open door.

Before I knew it I was organized, in color order, unpacked and apparently "in desperate need of a shopping trip".

I had a feeling Alice enjoyed shopping way more than the average human being. Her third of our closet was packed to the max with all sorts of colors, textures, lengths and materials. There was not a single place to put anything else. It was full. Honestly, I was frightened. She had enough shoes to go across the United States, with designers I could only _imagine_ getting sticker-shock from.

Me, I was perfectly content with my lovely little pile of clothing. It suited my slow-paced and easygoing lifestyle. I wasn't high-maintenance. At all.

I flopped down on my bed. I was dead tired, and I could only imagine what the entire few months here would bring. I'm sure I would be okay.

I had to say, Jasper seemed to be the most low key of the bunch, and Edward. Except, Edward seemed to be more reserved than Jasper. Alice…well…she was in her own world. As long as she didn't bug me too much, I'm sure she's tolerable. I was scared to death of Rosalie. I think I may not sleep as much as I originally thought. I guess I'm going to stay far, far away from her.

I thought about my roommates, and Jake, and how he already hated Edward's guts. But we're _just friends_. Edward will never be more than that. That's what Jake is for. He's my boyfriend. I've been with him forever. It's always been Jake and Bella, Bella and Jake. Ever since we were little, we shared everything, we grew up together. Hell, we probably know each other better than ourselves. He's my everything. We've spent every holiday together, every birthday, every vacation, every milestone in my life I've spent with Jacob. We are all each other know. I couldn't figure out if that was a good thing, or a bad thing.

My phone buzzed, which caught me off guard. I stared at the clock on my nightstand which read 9:00.

Of course he would never forget.

"Hello?" I said, flipping open my phone.

"Hey, Bells," Jacob said on the other line.

"Hey, Jake, how is it back home?"

"You know, same old stuff. Nothing new," he sighed.

He missed me. I knew it. Truth was, I missed him too, more than I ever thought. I imagined his arms around my body, his lips on mine, and I wished to be back home.

"How's Charlie?" I asked, curious as to how my father was coping with my absence.

"He misses you Bells, he looks lost without you, it's like he just walks in circles aimlessly, and he'll run to get the phone when it rings, he's always looking out windows like he's waiting for you to pull up or something. It's only been a day."

I felt terrible for leaving Charlie, we were all each other had as far as family goes, and I'm sure he missed my dinners. I just hoped he wasn't going to worry too much.

"Jacob, how are you holding up?"

"Eh, you know. I expect to see you in the kitchen, or in your room reading when I come over. It hasn't hit me that you're gone. God, Bella, just talking about you not being here is getting me."

"Aw, Jake! C'mon, I'm fine here!" I told him.

"I know that, how are the roommates?" Jacob asked.

I thought back to the fact that they weren't what I expected at all. I couldn't just tell Jacob about living with Edward, what was I, crazy?

"They're good. They seem nice so far. I'm sure it will just take some getting used to."

"Yeah, Bells, I'm sure it will. You can do it, you're a smart girl."

"I'm going to go, Jake, I have some last-minute things to unpack," I lied, trying to get him off the phone.

"Alright Bells, take care now. I love you," he said.

"I love you too, Jacob. Keep Charlie busy, he'll probably worry himself to death," I chuckled.

"Don't worry, Bella. I won't let you down. Remember, I'm just a phone call away."

"I know," I sighed, "Goodnight, Jacob."

"Goodnight, Bella."

And with that, I ended the call and got ready to go to bed. It had been a long day, and a really emotional one at that.

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**a/n- there you have it, kids! A review will make us love you! We wanna hear what you have to say! :)**

**Review, review, review!**


	4. Getting to Know You

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight in any shape way or form. We're not Stephenie Meyer. Nor do we own any piece of musical lyrics that may be mentioned. **

**Authors' Note: Happy Gin Wednesday! :D Bemylullaby here…bringing you the goods. I'm alive and I officially survived my first Vegas experience after I turned twenty-one, because let's face it…Vegas is hella boring when you're not twenty-one. **

**Something I wanted to address though. The question about the living arrangements and how is it possible that six people can cohabitate in a dorm together. Well this chapter describes the dorm a little more, but if any of you have ever seen **_**Saved By The Bell: The College Years**_** that's what I envisioned the dorm like. **

**With that said, let's get this Gin Wednesday kicked off! **

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"Getting to know you,Getting to know all about you.

Getting to like you,Getting to hope you like me."

-"_Getting to Know You_"

from Rodgers and Hammerstein's _The King and I  
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Four days had passed since I'd arrived in La Jolla. I spent the first two settling into the door and adjusting to my surroundings. The past two were spent in class and working. Because unlike my roommates I have to work to help pay off my school tuition and to basically live. So, not only am I taking a full course load of classes but I'm working at the café on campus four day out of the week and my weekend would soon be filled with some job I needed to find.

Needless to say, things were going to get crazy. I was going to get busy.

"Dammit, Emmett! Hurry up! I have class in fifteen minutes and you've been in there for almost an hour!" Alice yelled as she banging her fists against the innocent bystander that was the bathroom door.

If there was one thing I learned in the four days I lived with the five people known as the Cullen-Hales, it was that as wonderful as their bright idea to live together was, giving them the "Jack and Jill" bathroom was stupid. Plus, Alice and Rosalie wouldn't be caught dead in the community shower area, I don't blame them.

I looked up from the book I was reading for my English class and glanced at Alice.

"Alice, you know he's just sitting in there right? He's doing it to get a rise out of you," I stated.

Alice's head whipped back.

"What?! Are you kidding me?" her eyes grew wide and she turned back to the door. "Emmett Cullen I swear to God that if you're just sitting in there I will get rid of all Rose's lingerie!"

"Little sister, it takes time to make me beautiful. Don't listen to Iz, she doesn't know what she's talking about," Emmett's voice said from behind the door.

I smiled at the mention of "Iz" my new nickname from Emmett. Apparently Bella wasn't good enough for him. Although he promised that "Iz" was just a temporary one until he gave me my German name.

"For Christ's sake Alice, just go around to the boy's room. I'm sure he didn't lock that door," Rosalie hissed quietly as she threw the covers over her head.

If there was something I learned about Rosalie Hale in the past four days it was that she…well…she wasn't a morning person, she didn't say too much either. Frankly, it almost seemed like she had some impending grudge on me.

The banging stopped and Alice turned to me.

"Come on, Bella. Let Rosalie get her _beauty_ sleep. Operation Bathroom Take Over is in affect," Alice exclaimed pulling me off the bed and dragging me across the living area and straight to the boy's room.

She knocked a few times.

"Boys, Bella and I are coming in. Cover yourselves up," she giggled, "for Bella's sake."

She waited a few moments before throwing the door open. Jasper was sitting on his bed quietly strumming on his guitar. He smiled up at Alice when she walked through the door.

If there was one thing I learned about Jasper and Alice it was that they had this connection between each other. It was heart warming, yet I always felt like I was intruding on a moment.

"Hey Jazzy, is Emmett really just sitting in the bathroom?" Alice asked Jasper as she planted a kiss on his lips.

Jasper didn't respond. He just smirked and returned back to his guitar. Looking around the room I was really surprised at how clean and organized it was. Aren't guys supposed to be dirty and messy?

Alice stalked over to the bathroom door and paused, contemplating her next move.

"Alice, really? Do you have to do this, here?" Edward groaned from behind me.

I didn't even notice he was there. I turned around and the world stopped.

Edward Cullen.

His bronze locks were sticking up in twenty different directions, his green eyes bright and beautiful. His chest. Holy hell, the boy slept without a shirt on. His muscles flexed as he rested on his arms. What I wouldn't give to run my hands across the planes of his chest, to kiss every groove…

_Bella, snap out of it! You have a boyfriend. A good boyfriend that's just as equally beautiful. _

Edward Cullen.

Who am I kidding? Edward Cullen is in a league of his own.

"Bella?" he asked snapping me out of my Edward Cullen induced universe.

"Yea-what?"

"Are you okay? You spaced out there for a second," he questioned.

"Yeah, I'm fine sorry. I was just thinking."

"Okay," he responded flashing me a smile. But not just any smile, that smile he gave me the first day I met him. The one where the corner of his lips curve up on the side in a crooked manner. The smile I dubbed "the crooked smile".

_God, I was pathetic. _

"Emmett Cullen! So help me God, I'm coming in. Cover yourself big brother!" Alice screamed as she flung the bathroom door open.

Edward chuckled, Jasper just shook his head.

"Ugh! Emmett really?" Alice spat as she stormed into the bathroom. I ran over to the doorway to see what was going on.

There was Emmett, sitting in the bathtub, fully clothed, doing his homework, and a mischievous grin on his face.

"Emmett, I have class to get ready for and you're sitting in here doing your homework! What the hell Em?" Alice yelled. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her perfectly pedicured foot tapping against the tile.

"I get inspired in here Ali, you know that," Emmett exclaimed standing up. "I feel like I do my best work in here."

He got up out of the shower and smiled down at Alice.

"So help me Emmett. Ah! Out! I have to get ready for class," Alice said as she ushered Emmett out of the bathroom slamming the door behind him.

Emmett paused for a second as he passed me.

"Morning, Iz," he boomed pulling me into a bone crushing hug.

"Morn..Emme…" I muttered against his chest.

He let go, smiled right before flinging himself on his bed.

"Well, I'll let you boys get back to what you were doing. I need to get ready for class myself," I noted as I started to walk out the room.

"Wait, Bella," Edward exclaimed.

"Yeah, Edward?" I sighed as I turned towards him.

"Your first class is English right, in the Meyer Hall? Just like the other day?"

"Yeah it is, why?"

"You want some company walking to class?" he asked.

"Um…"

"We can stop by the café and grab some coffee. I know you probably don't want to step foot in there knowing how much time you're going to spend in there, but everyone needs a coffee fix in the morning. My treat," he offered, again flashing me that crooked smile.

"Sure, um, that's, I mean, yeah, I guess so," I stuttered, "I need to leave in fif-"

"Bella! You're phone is ringing!" Rosalie yelled cutting me off. "I think it's Jacob."

I glanced over at the clock on the wall next to the doorway.

Seven o'clock.

Crap!

I looked back over at Edward. He was staring at me, running his fingers through his hair with a smile. He looked a bit disappointed at the mention of Jacob, but then again it could've been me. I just need to stop reading into it. I need to stop doing whatever it was I am doing and get over it. I have Jacob. He's all I need.

"You better go answer that, Bella," Edward chuckled.

"Fifteen minutes Cullen," I spat running across the living room. I could hear some laughter and arguing come from the boy's room. It sounded like Jasper and Emmett were picking on Edward.

I rushed to the night stand where my phone was vibrating and making noise to pick it up. Sure enough "Jake" flashed across the caller ID screen.

"Hello," I blurted out trying to catch my breath.

"Morning Bells," he chimed, "you sound out of breath, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, babe. I just ran across the dorm to answer my phone."

"Oh, I see," he said, "Are you ready for class?"

"Um, I'm just getting ready now. There was a slight issue with the bathroom this morning," I laughed.

"Oh? What happened?"

"Well, Alice needed to get ready for school and well Emmett-" I stopped.

_Crap! He doesn't know about the coed dorm thing._

"Emmett?" he asked.

"Yeah, um, he, Emmett, um, you see, it's," I stuttered.

"Bella, what's going on? Who's Emmett?" he asked, his voice starting to get a little upset and angry. I could only imagine him sitting there his eyebrows scrunched, his fists clenched.

"Emmett is, well, he's Alice's brother, Rosalie's boyfriend," I answered. It was true. I wasn't lying. Just like I told myself I wasn't lying when I _didn't_ tell him about the coed issue.

"He's there? That early in the morning Bells? I thought there were rules about that?" he asked, his voice starting raising in volume. It was getting irritated.

_Great._

"There is, but Emmett and Rosalie have class together this morning," I paused, "he came by to pick her up."

I think that would work, I hoped it would work. There was no need for Jacob to know about the other half of my roommates. We had the roommate conversation the other day and I just happened to leave out the fact there were three gorgeous men living across the common room. I pretty much told him I didn't get a chance to really talk to my other roommates because they were always gone. So, Jacob only got to learn about Alice and Rosalie, my legit roommates.

"Oh…" his voice stammered as if he was trying to calm down.

_Yeah that's right Jacob Black, calm down. No need to worry._

"Yeah, Emmett's a good guy. A real character," I chuckled stuffing random books and papers back into my bag.

"I'm sure," he said sarcastically. If I knew him like I thought I did, he was sitting there in his car outside of the garage. His fingers drumming along his center console and at that moment his eyes were rolling, a stupid grin on his face. What I wouldn't give to slap that stupid grin of his face. "Hey, Bella?"

"Yeah, Jacob?"

"I miss you," he whispered into the phone. His voice was heartbreaking. He was one of the hardest things to leave.

"I miss you too," I managed to choke out.

Just then my bedroom door flung up startling me.

"Bella, you ready to go?" Edward asked leaning against the door jam. His hands tucked into the pockets of his dark blue jeans, the muscles in his arms tense and contained within the fibers of cotton in his green button down shirt.

There should be a new rule. Edward Cullen should _always_ wear green.

I just stood there admiring like a stalker when she first laid eyes on her big brother's high school friends. I didn't even realize Jacob calling my name.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" his voice rang through the phone receiver, echoing through my head.

"What, oh sorry, Jake. What were you saying?" I mumbled into the phone trying to regain any composure that I could muster up.

"Who is that?"

"Oh that's, that's just…" I paused.

What was I supposed to do?

I covered myself very nicely over the Emmett slip up and I couldn't very well use Emmett as the excuse again. He was supposed to be meeting Rosalie, not me.

Could I do it?

Should I do it?

Should I just tell him the truth? Tell him that while I wasn't lying to him, I wasn't being exactly truthful.

Could I tell him that all his concerns of me meeting some California boy to frolic into the sunset with would be heightened because I was living in a coed dorm? Not to mention the jealous tone he got when Edward was mentioned that first day. How would Jacob feel when he found out that Edward Cullen and all his bronze hair, green eyes, crooked smile glory was sleeping just across the room from me?

I couldn't do it.

I can't do that to him.

"Nothing, listen Jacob I've got to get going," I said looking up at Edward who was still leaning against my door jam. A mischievous smile appeared on my face as my eyes trailed down his body. When our eyes met a smirk appeared on his face.

I was caught.

Caught ogling the goods. But what was I supposed to do? Innocently turn away as he licked his lips, smiled, then ran his hands through his hair all while managing to make my heart stop.

I think not.

"Um, I guess. Is everything okay, Bella?" Jacob asked his voice a little shaky, "I mean you sound a little out of it."

"Yeah, I'm fine, really. I'm just trying to adjust to everything. I'm starting to get into the groove of my classes then with working at the café on campus," I muttered rolling my eyes.

"Oh well I honestly think there's something wrong with, with this Emmett being at your place so damned early, Bells," Jacob huffed a little bit more irritated.

This again? Why won't he just drop it?

"It's fine, it's not a problem. I don't care," I said getting a little defensive, my voice raising.

"God dammit, Bella! First Alice this morning, now you! Can't a girl get some sleep around here?" Rosalie yelled as she hobbled out of bed pulling her blankets around her body. "I'm going to sleep with Emmett."

She huffed out of the room pushing Edward out of the way.

"Touchy," Edward chuckled.

I laughed.

"Listen, Jake, I've got to get going," I paused almost about to say 'Edward', "People are waiting for me."

"Oh," his voice sounded disappointed, "okay I guess. Call me later?"

"Of course. I'll text you if I can."

"Alright," he paused taking a deep breath, "I love you, Bella. God do I love you. I feel lost without you and it's only been a few days. Bella-"

"Jake please don't make this harder then it already is," I glanced over at Edward who was still waiting patiently at my door. Looking gorgeous as ever, "I love you, Jacob Black"

"I'll talk to you later, bye," he whispered.

"Bye."

I hung the phone up. It was hard to be away from him. It was hard to wake up in the morning and not see his smiling face to not hear his voice.

I looked up at Edward. I noticed his eyes were bright and comforting.

"Everything okay, Bella?" he inquired taking a step forward towards me.

"Um, yeah," I sighed picking up my bag.

"You sure?" one more step closer to me, his body flush up against mine. "I'm here if you need to talk. We're friends, right?"

His hand ran up and down my arm in a comforting manner.

Friends.

Friends talked. Friends made friends feel better when they were down. Friends didn't fantasize about each other.

_Wait what? Where did that come from?_

"Friends," I sighed.

"Come on, Bella, let's get you that coffee. You seem like you could use it," he said throwing his arm around my shoulder pulling me close to his body. The smell of his scent filled my senses. The feeling of his body next to mine was comforting.

Without thinking I rested my head on his shoulder.

"You miss him, don't you," he whispered as he navigated us out of the dorm and down the hallway, "I can tell."

"Yeah I do. It's hard, you know? He's my best friend. I grew up with him. Life with Jacob is all I know," I sighed, "That and my dad. I'm really worried about him."

"Wow you two seem really close. That's amazing," he replied with a heavy sigh. Almost like he felt defeated.

Defeated.

Why would he feel defeated?

_Don't read too much into it, Bella. It's nothing. _

"Listen, let's not talk about it anymore," Edward demanded, his voice happier, "Chin up and smile. There's no room in this party for a grumpy Bella."

"Alright, no grumpy Bella here today," I chuckled lifting my head off his shoulder.

I looked over at him and he smiled, the crooked smile.

"You know what I said about earlier about being here if you need to talk? It's true, I'm here, Bella. I'm not sure how much advice I can give you on being separated from your best friend, but I've always been told I'm good listener," he smirked.

"Oh shush!" I exclaimed giving him a playful slap on the arm.

"You love it," he smiled, "Come on, Bella Swan. You need some morning java. What's your poison?"

"White Chocolate Mocha, extra shot, extra white chocolate, low fat milk," I said with a smile.

"Done deal. White Chocolate Mocha with an extra kick of everything and low fat moo juice."

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Step.

Step.

Step.

_God damned stairs!_

My feet hurt, my back hurt, my head hurt and for some weird reason my heart hurt. I had a brief conversation with Jacob at lunch. He brought up the Emmett situation again and again I defended it. I wasn't ready to tell him the truth. I just kept telling myself, I'm not lying, I'm just not telling him everything.

Horrible?

Yeah I know, but there was just something he didn't need to know. It's like they say "what momma doesn't know won't hurt her".

I stopped in front of my door, unlocking it. I pushed the door open with my foot and stepped into the room. The soft glow of the TV lit up the room. I could make out a figure sitting on the couch, but I couldn't quick figure out who it was.

"Hello?" I called out.

The figure turned around and I saw him. The colors of the TV bounced off his skin lighting up his face.

Edward Cullen.

"Bella, you're home."

"I am. Where is everybody?"

"Well…" his voiced trailed and he turned his attention to the TV again.

_Okay._

I walked toward my bedroom door.

"It's locked," Edward's voice stated just as I put my hand on the doorknob.

I gave it a quick turn. Sure enough, locked.

"How'd you-"

"Jasper and Alice," he sighed then glanced over at the shut door to his room, "Emmett and Rosalie."

"Oh…" I exclaimed finally realizing what he meant.

"You're more than welcome to join me on the couch. I'll take the floor so you can sleep on the couch," he offered.

"Don't be ridiculous, Edward. The couch has a pull out right? We're both adults, we can be big kids about this," I said plopping down next to him.

"Right, it's just I don't want to make things worse between you and Jacob," he said turning to look at me.

_Jacob, right. _

"Don't worry about him. He's really not all that bad once you get to know him."

"I'm sure," Edward chuckled, "Oh by the way my sister left that for you. Said to make sure you got it." he pointed to a pink bag sitting on the coffee table.

Leaning over to grab it and placed it on my lap. I pulled the piece of paper that was folded up, sitting on top out first.

_Bella-_

_Sorry for the, um inconvenience._

_I told Edward he can sleep on the floor and give you the couch._

_I hope you understand, I promise I'll make it up to you._

_Thanks!_

_-Alice_

I shook my head and dumped the rest of the contents out of the bag.

"Pajamas, how thoughtful," I exclaimed out loud.

"That's my sister for you," Edward laughed.

"Does it ever get annoying? Being with the four of them all the time?"

"At first it did, but I got over it. They're happy, that's all that matters. My time will come eventually."

"Got it. So what are we watching?" I asked curiously as I pulled my feet up onto the couch wrapping my arms around my knees.

"_Saved By the Bell_," he said glancing over at me, "before you even say a thing, it's a great show."

"Oh Edward, you surprise me every time," I chuckled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I've been living with you for four days and I realize I know nothing about you guys except for the day to day things I learn. For example, yesterday I learned that Emmett likes Count Chocula cereal," Edward started to laugh, "Hey he's your brother. Oh and the day before that I learned that Alice and Jasper take dance lessons every Monday night."

"That they do. They've been doing that for awhile."

"That's the thing I live with you guys and I know nothing about you. Except for the stupid little things."

"Oh but Bella, it's the stupid little things that let you really know who that person really is. What is that you want to know?" he asked turning the volume down on the TV.

"I don't know," I exclaimed shaking my head, "Where are you guys from? Did you guys always be friends? What's your most favorite thing in the world? What's your favorite color? Your favorite movie? Did you ever have any pets growing up?"

Edward smiled at my questions.

"Our parents were friends in college-"

"I knew that!" I exclaimed interrupting him.

"Listen to me," he pleaded his green eyes perked with interest, "they were friends in college and kept in touch over the years. After college my parents moved up to Seattle where they started their family."

"Wait, you guys are from Washington?" I exclaimed.

"Are you the one asking questions?"

"Shut up!" I exclaimed throwing a pillow at him.

"Hey now, no violence is needed. But yes, we're from Seattle. The Hales are from Texas, born and raised, well sort of. Rosalie moved here to California to go to some fancy performing arts school. Which is where she lost her southern-Texas charm." he started to explain.

"Well her senior, Alice and I's junior year the Hales moved up to Seattle. I still remember the first day it rained and Rosalie got stuck out in it. She came home livid that her brand new Louboutin boots were ruined. Serves her right," Edward scoffed, "Anyways, When Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie graduated they came down here for college, leaving Alice and I behind. Then my mother got the bright idea to move out to some small town on the coast. So, we packed up and moved out to Forks."

"Forks?!?" I exclaimed.

"Yeah Forks," he sighed, "small ass town on the Olympic Peninsula. Always raining, always. We lived on the outskirts of town, my dad drove the forty-five minutes back and forth to Port Angeles to work every day. It was horrendous."

"Forks, Washington," I breathed.

Edward Cullen was in my backyard for an entire year and I had no idea.

"You okay, Bella?"

"Edward, I grew up in La Push."

"La Push, you mean down by the Quiluete Reservation?"

"Yeah, my dad's the Chief of Police for Forks."

Edward looked confused, but then after a few seconds his face lit up.

"Holy crap, you're Chief Swan's daughter! Why the hell didn't I put two and two together?" Edward exclaimed hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand.

"No need to beat yourself up over it," I laughed, "I feel just as stupid. We lived just twenty minutes away from each other and we didn't even run into each other. Jacob and I used to go into Forks all the time. We used to spend hours at Sully's.

"That place is amazing!"

"Isn't it?"

"Wow, this really is fate. We were destined to meet each other, Bella," Edward admitted, his face lighting up with that crooked smile that made my knees week. He brought his hand to brush some hair out of my face. Slowly he his hand trailed down the side of my face, down my neck, to my shoulder. His touch gave me goose bumps.

_This is wrong. I shouldn't be feeling like this. I have Jacob, Jacob is my everything._

"I guess we were," I whispered looking into his eyes.

We stayed like that for what felt like an eternity. His hand occasionally brushing against my skin, his fingers twirling stray pieces of my hair. I wanted to stay like this. I just wanted to exist, here, with Edward. Now that I knew something about his family, I felt slightly more comfortable around him, not that I didn't before. It's just sometimes difficult to be thrown into the mix where you're the new girl. It was tough, but Edward made the experience less painful. We just sat and enjoyed each other's presence.

"So tell me, Bella, what's the one thing you want to do? If you had to pick one thing to do, what would it be?" Edward asked breaking the silence quickly pulling his hand away.

"Um, go backpacking through Europe," I admitted, defeated.

"Europe?"

"Europe," I stated nodding my head, "I've always wanted to visit all the sights. Go to Paris, Italy, Germany, Spain, Prague, England. All the history, the culture."

"Well Bella Swan that's one big dream you've got there."

"Well it's a dream that I don't picture coming true," I admitted.

"Don't think like that, Bella. You need to think positive," he said with a smile on his face.

"When you come from a small town where your dad's the police chief and you have to work two jobs to survive through college, backpacking through Europe is a little farfetched."

"Oh," he whispered, "I guess if you put it that way." His attention wandered back towards the TV.

"It's fine Edward, it's something that I realized would never happen. Just like the dream I have of actually watching the sunrise."

"Wait, what?" he exclaimed whipping his head towards me, "You mean to tell me you've _never_ seen the sun rise?"

"Well, not really. I've always sat out and waited for it, but the waiting always takes too long and I end up falling asleep. You don't know how many times Jacob and I have tried to watch it."

"Well, Bella Swan if it's the last thing I do, you will see the sunrise. I know these amazing beaches down here. The cliffs are amazing, just like the ones in La Push. The view will be amazing."

"Right Edward," I scoffed rolling my eyes. _Who does he think he is?_ "You do that. Good luck."

"I'm serious Bella. That's my mission now," he smiled, "Oh and don't give up your dream on Europe. Maybe not backpacking, cause that's a whole lot of traveling, but maybe something smaller. Paris perhaps?"

"Paris," I stated, "I guess."

"You guess? Paris, as a graduation celebration. You can save up money for the next four years and go. If that's what you want to do, you should do it."

"Alright," I chuckled.

If I did everything I wanted to do I wouldn't be sitting here on the couch. I'd be doing other things with this god-like man sitting in front of me. Things that would definitely make the relationship I have with Jacob and bit more complicated.

* * *

"God, what time is it?" Edward yawned stretching his arms out.

I glanced over to the clock on the wall.

"Two forty-five," I said not listening to what I was exactly saying, "Wait! Two forty-five?!?"

"Dang, I'm sorry Bella. I didn't realize it was so late or early," Edward chuckled.

"It's alright, Edward. I had fun with you tonight," I admitted.

It was true. I spent the past couple of hours just laughing with Edward. Talking about anything and everything under the sun. The full moon was creating a glowing light in the room.

"So did I, Bella," he smirked, "We need to stick together. Those four," he motioned to the two closed doors on either side of us, "can be pretty sickening. If we stick together we can endure it together."

"An alliance," I said, extending my hand out towards him. He smiled as placed his hand in mine.

"An alliance," he agreed, "This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

_A beautiful friendship indeed, Edward. _

It was in those last few seconds before drifting off to sleep I realized something. I was drawn to Edward Cullen like a moth to a flame, not only because he was beautiful. And let's be honest, he was beautiful. But I was drawn to Edward Cullen because in the few short days I'd known him he was slowly, but surely, filling the void in my life.

The void that _was_ filled by Jacob, my best friend.

I didn't know if should be scared or happy. I didn't want to replace Jacob, there was no way I could ever replace Jacob. But there was just something about Edward that made him unique. I could have both, right?

Jacob was my boyfriend, my everything, my life. He would understand. I could have Edward in my life as my best friend. A girl needs a best friend.

I could have my cake and eat it too.

Right?

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**Hope you guys liked it! Next week is Katie's turn. We'll see what she has planned up her sleves. :D Maybe one these days we'll actually get to post together...maybe.**

**You know the drill guys...**

**review, review, review!**

**They make the world go round!**


	5. We're Only Human

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight or any of the characters that Stephenie Meyer created, even though they are pretty amazing.**

**Authors' Note: kmcullen here, I'm posting :) I need to go to bed now! All I command you to do-really- is to read this lovely little chapter we have for ya! Happy Gin Wednesday...well Thursday...to you all! SO...read! :P**

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**"After all we're only human,  
always fighting what we're feeling,  
hurt instead of healing,  
after all we're only human,  
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leaving"

-_"Human" _Jon McLaughlin

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**Bella P.O.V.  
**

It had been exactly one week since Edward and mine's campout. We've had about three others since then, and I'm starting to notice that I have selective hearing. It's really been helping me get through the nights where the grunting doesn't seem to end. Also, Edward and I have had _plenty_ of awkward moments. My favorite is the one with Mike Newton, our next-door neighbor who now stalks me endlessly. It ended in a fight.

"_What's your name pretty ladayyy?" Mike drawled, taking another swig of his beer. _

_Like he needed it, he was already leaning on the wall and still swaying. I was fumbling with the code on the handle, freaking out because I kept pressing the wrong buttons. _

"_Mike, not now," I growled, annoyed._

"_C'mon Bella, dontcha want a drink?"_

_I glared at him, "No, Mike, I really don't."_

_I heard footsteps behind me and I swiftly turned around. I faced my hero. Edward was glaring at Mike like he wanted to kill him. I mentally giggled, and probably would've giggled out loud too, it just wasn't the right time._

"_What the hell are you doing to my girlfriend?" Edward hissed, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close to him._

"_Uh, you two are together?" Mike questioned, puzzled._

_Mike's question matched my thoughts perfectly._

"_Yes, we are," Edward stated, brushing his lips across my cheek in confirmation._

_I felt all sorts of emotions. First and foremost, I was confused. I had to mentally check the last few things I ate, to make sure I wasn't having a reaction of sorts. I didn't do any illegal drugs or drinking…so that can't be it. Then, my teenage girl started to show and I was thrilled to see that Edward cared about me enough to protect me from Mike Newton. My stomach fluttered, my heart swelled and I felt like I could fly._

_Then his lips on my cheek. Damn, no words can describe it. His warm lips pressed against my flushed cheek just felt right. Then I started to feel something that radiated from the point where Edward's lips met my cheek._

_Tingles._

_Not just little butterflies, but almost as if electricity was coursing through the both of us at that very same moment. Like we were both supplying each other the energy we needed._

_And kill me if I say so, but I forgot all about Jacob.  
Then I remembered the reason Edward saved me, because we needed to get away.  
_

"_So...Edward, let's go inside!" I said, rushing us out of Mike's way._

"_Don't you ever come near her again. Do you understand?" Edward snarled, before punching in the code and throwing the door open and slamming it roughly behind the both of us._

_I jumped slightly at the loud noise of the door slamming. Edward smirked._

_I looked down, because that's all I could think of doing at the moment. My brain was too busy to deal with any other thought processes. For some reason, I couldn't get the thought of Edward and me out of my head. It was rather frightening. I never really had anything occupy my thoughts like that. I just seemed to have that exact emotion, that moment on repeat in my mind. Over, and over, and over again. I felt like my thoughts weren't like they usually were. They were more...unexpected. Unintended._

_I felt Edward's hand caress my cheek and I looked up into his electrifying green eyes. He was so sincere. _

_Then I began to feel them again. The beginning of pins and needles, the tingles. The electricity between the two of us, forcing us together like magnets, but our human actions kept under wraps._

"_Bella, if he ever gives you a problem, I swear to God..." he began, his eyes burning with a new intensity. Rage._

"_Edward, it's fine. He's drunk. He probably won't remember it in the morning anyways," I noted, rolling my eyes at the entire experience._

"_That's not the point here, Bella. The point is that he could've hurt you easily."_

_"Edward, I'm a big girl. I can handle my problems, you don't have to swoop in and save me like I'm some damsel in distress!" I cried._

_I couldn't believe he thought I couldn't take care of myself. I would've entered my code and slipped right in the dorm. Easily. I mean sure, Mike was bugging me, but I'm sure he's harmless. He lives with that Jessica girl anyways, I'm sure she keeps him in line._

_"You don't seem to get it, do you?" Edward questioned._

_"I guess I don't." I growled, walking past him into my bedroom where I slammed the door and slid down it.  
_

I was still daydreaming of his lips on my cheek when Alice's high pitched squeal woke me up from my daydream.

"Ella!" she cried, with a hair clip between her teeth, "We aw oing alsa ancing!"

"What are you doing?" I asked her, unable to understand her fully.

She quickly pinned her hair up in a half-ponytail, her short, black wisps flitting outwards. She smoothed out her red, slinky dress. A pair of shoes that I didn't even know how to put on complimented her height very nicely. They were all twisty and had a really high heel. I wouldn't even think of successfully walking in them.

She huffed, "Salsa dancing. Jasper is taking me to go salsa dancing!" she exclaimed, immediately excited once again.

"I never knew anyone who did that," I replied honestly.

Her excited bouncing immediately ceased. She scrutinized my face as if I were joking.

"You mean to tell _me_, Alice Cullen, that you have _never_ been out dancing?" she cried, placing her hand over her heart in shock.

"Yes?" I questioned, honestly afraid of her response.

"But you have Jacob! He never took you to do those types of things?"

I wracked my mind for a response. Prom and a few of the tribe member's weddings were probably the only times we ever danced with each other. Gravity was on my bad side anyways. Jacob never really was into those kinds of things. It was just assumed that we never danced.

It just wasn't our thing.

"You are one poor excuse for a human being, Isabella Swan! I'm appalled!" she hissed lowly.

"Alice, please..."

"Then what the hell do you do all the time?! You just sit around and stare at each other, don't you?"

"No, we do stuff," I defended, "We go for walks on the beach and such, we watch movies. I'll help him fix cars, even though I'm not much help. Sometimes when the weather is nice, we'll go fishing with Charlie and Billy."

"Bella, you need a hobby," Alice told me before flitting out the door, she poked her head back inside our room, "We are going to finish discussing this when we get back."

"Alice..." I warned her, but it was too late. She was probably already out the door.

I flopped back down on my bed before I noticed my cell phone was ringing. Jacob's name lit up my phone's caller ID screen.

I flipped my phone open and put it to my ear, "Hello?"

"Hey, stranger," Charlie's voice rang on the other end.

"Dad?! How are you? I miss you," I told him.

He chuckled, "I miss you too, Bells. It's just not the same around here without you. So, how are the roomies?"

I smirked at his usage of words, "roomies" was definitely _not_ in his vocabulary the last time we talked. He must've found it online or something.

"They're interesting..." I replied.

"They're being nice to you, right?" he questioned.

"Yeah, they're great," I said honestly, "What happened to your phone?" I asked him.

"It uh, fell in the lake on our last fishing trip. It's cheaper to call you from Jacob's phone then on the house phone."

"Dad, you can't just go throwing your phone overboard!" I laughed at him.

I could picture it all in my head, watching Charlie bump something on the boat and him not even noticing that his phone took the plunge.

"Bells, I honestly think it just fell in."

"Dad, you really need to keep better track of your technologies."

I could hear the smile in his voice, "Well, Jacob is ready to tackle me for the phone if he doesn't talk to you soon,"

I laughed, "Okay, put Jake on,"

"Bye, Bells, I love you. Take care of yourself, mmkay?"

I smiled, goodbyes were the hardest for Charlie, so I avoided the word as much as possible, "I will Dad, you take care of yourself, too. I'll talk to you later."

I heard the phone switch hands and Jacob's voice rang through the phone.

"Hey, Bells," he said happily.

"Hey Jake," I replied.

"I miss you,"

"God, Jacob, is that all you can say?" I laughed jokingly.

"But I do, Bella. I always expect you to be here, and you're just not. It's weird here without you."

"Jake, and you think that I don't miss you?" I mused, "Cause I do, Jacob, I wish you were here with me."

"Bella, don't be like that. Whenever I talk to you you're always preoccupied or something. It's like I don't get your full attention," he pointed out.

He was completely right, the past few phone calls have been with Edward in my sight, Alice chatting in my ear, Jasper playing the guitar, Emmett reciting his German alphabet or even Rosalie just complaining. I haven't given him my full attention because I have rarely had a moment alone, and now I finally did, and I couldn't even focus on him.

"I'm sorry, I just really haven't had a moment alone lately, we all have similar class schedules, so someone is _always_ here with me," I answered honestly.

"Well, at least you're not alone," he added.

We just sat and talked for a while, I began studying flashcards for my test tomorrow, and Jacob was in a good mood. Our conversation went smoothly and I found myself saying goodbye after a good forty minutes of chatting.

I scurried into the bathroom to grab a shower, knowing no one else was here but me. Edward had a night class, Jasper and Alice were dancing, and Emmett and Rosalie were off "studying".

I was in the shower shampooing my hair. I thought I heard a noise.

"Hello?" I called, briefly stopping my shampooing.

Somebody must be in here somewhere. It was probably Edward, but my paranoid self let any possibilities get the best of me. I had to say, my imagination led me to believe the craziest things.

I quickly finished my shower and wrapped a towel around me. I speedily combed through my wet hair. Thinking I was alone, I trumped into the main room, knowing that I had to grab a pair of socks that I left out there.

"Bella?!" Edward cried, his voice about an octave higher than normal.

I turned around and our eyes met. I immediately felt naked and hugged the towel closer to my body, in hopes that that would make this horrible experience end.

His eyes were wide, and he dropped the television remote in his head. The loudness of the remote hitting the ground shook us both out of our embarrassed comas.

"Edward?!" I replied. I quickly bolted for my bedroom door. I felt like I couldn't turn the knob fast enough.

I just paraded around in front of Edward Cullen, in nothing but a towel.

I felt my cheeks redden at the thought of having to face him in about ten minutes. I could tell he was embarassed too. I mean, he was probably as surprised to see me, in a towel, as I was as surprised to see him just sitting there.

I quickly got changed, and I let my damp hair just do its own thing. Normally, I would put thought into it, but this was a situation that needed to be confronted.

**Edward P.O.V.**

I decided to hit the couch after that class, it was rough. I just picked up the remote to turn on the television and Bella appeared out of nowhere.

In nothing but a skimpy towel.

Her dark, damp hair cascaded down her back as she squatted to grab her socks. I had the brilliant idea to call out her name. Then I realized what she was wearing. There was nothing but a single piece of fabric and the room between me and the rest of her. All of her.

She turned around to face me, she looked like a deer in the headlights. Lost. Bella's hands scrambled to cover her up. Her cheeks flamed red, and I knew she was just as embarrassed as I was. To make matters worse, the damn remote just fell out of my fucking lifeless hand, startling her. It seemed to snap us both back to reality, and she couldn't seem to open her door fast enough.

And for some fucking reason, that was all I could think about.

Her skin, glimmering with droplets of water, and the way her hair settled along her creamy shoulders just made her all the more appealing to me.

I just sat there, not even able to think of something to say to her. Cause she was embarassed, and so was I. I felt badly for startling her, but then again, I suppose it was better than me just ogling her in her towel. So, I did the nice gentlemanly thing, I let her know I was there.

And now I was kicking myself for it.

At the same time, I would've felt badly for _not_ telling her I was there. That would've been just way too creepy.

Before I knew it, Bella came back out. Her cheeks were still flaming, her brown eyes were unsure of the entire spectacle. She sped across the floor swiftly before taking a seat beside me.

"I'm sorry," we both blurted at the same time.

That earned a little giggle from her. She turned to face me.

"I didn't know you would be back so early," Bella said, "Or else I would've brought a change of clothes in there with me instead of gallivanting around in a towel."

"It's fine, Bella, I just didn't want to be creepily watching you go from the bathroom to the bedroom in nothing but a towel, so I made my presence known."

She smiled, a tight, tense smile. I think it was supposed to reassure me that it was fine, but I could tell it wasn't. In fact, it had the opposite effect on me, but I wasn't about to let her know that. Her smile didn't reach her eyes like it should've. So she was definitely freaked out about it.

"I'll give you brownie points for that, Mr. Cullen," she joked, "But I really shouldn't assume I'm here alone. Ever. Cause with five other roommates able to pop in at any moment, I should be prepared at all times,"

"Good idea, we may need to have more rules," I suggested.

"I'm sure Alice won't mind making a list of sorts, already the bathroom situation is becoming a problem," Bella giggled.

I noticed how relaxed she seemed to be becoming around me. Overall it made me generally happy, because that's how I wanted her to feel. Now, if she'd only dump that Jackson, or was it James? No, Jacob. If she would just get rid of Jacob, she would be mine. I could tell by the feelings that coursed through me when I'd casually brush her side in passing. She felt it too. That day when I saved her from Mike, that little kiss was all I needed. I felt like that is exactly who I should be kissing for the rest of my life, no one but her. But I couldn't be with her. I had to fight against the actions my body wanted to perform. I wanted to touch her, kiss her, and just be near her. But I couldn't. I had to fight against what I felt. I had to fight for Bella.

* * *

**a/n-Okay...so some Edward in there for you all! Thanks to all who reviews! You guys are amazing! :) We're considering posting on twilighted...so...should we? **

**Reviews are as good as Edward Cullen seeing you almost naked. So that means REALLAY good.**


	6. Someone Somewhere

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight or any of the characters that Stephenie Meyer created, even though they are pretty amazing.**

_a/n- Authors' Note: kmcullen here, now, don't have a heart attack, we are updating together! *squeals* _**Yes, bemylullaby here! Together, with kmcullen..I know, FINALLY, right?! right!!**_Umm...soo...yah. It's Thursday, here. So it's still Wednesday somewhere in the world!_ **Like here in Southern California where Mother Nature can't make up her mind on if she wants it to rain or not, but besides the point...**_So therefore, we're still updating on Wednesday! HA! Take that you calendar nazis. Leave it to the Aryan to make fun of the nazis. I can take it. Seriously though, studying the whole Aryan thing in history class is super awkward, especially when you're the prime example of the Aryan race. It's great. _R**ight, um enough of us. As much as I would love to continue rambling on with katie here, because for once we're posting toether, I'm sure ya'll don't appreciate it. Well, some of you might, but whatever...not the point. Here it is! My chapter...what happens when Edward Cullen finds you in a towel.**

* * *

"Maybe that someone's me  
Maybe it's meant to be  
Lovers, strangers  
Sometimes bombs fall quietly..  
Maybe it's chemistry  
Maybe it's hard to see that someone is the right one  
I hope that someone is me.."

-_"Someone Somewhere" _Jason Reeves

* * *

Is it possible to have your worse and best moment of your life be the same thing?

I mean as much as I would love to say it didn't make things weird, I can't. I woke up this morning earlier than usual, rushing out of my dorm in hopes to miss him and his "Hey Bella, let's go get some coffee together" morning routine we started.

The whole day I spent running around avoiding Edward, in any way possible. I felt so stupid, really. I couldn't believe I was so embarrassed over this. I mean, it was only Edward. That's all he'll ever be. Only Edward. It was just something I didn't want to face yet. Especially since I ditched him this morning. It was a successful day too. I convinced myself that he would show up while I was at work, conveniently around my break. Which would force me to talk to him, with no excuses.

This wasn't the case though.

My break periods were Edward free, leaving them free for Jacob to fill.

"Have a good night, Bella! Thanks for your help tonight," my manager, Felix called out as I subconsciously waved goodbye.

I walked out of the café and started the long trek home.

I mean was it horrible of me to put Edward before Jacob? That's a stupid question, of course it is. Jacob's my boyfriend, my everything. We were Jacob and Bella, Bella and Jacob. I should be jumping at every opportunity to talk to my boyfriend, right?

Wrong!

Recently I'd been jumping at every opportunity to talk to Edward. Talk about anything and everything. It was getting pretty ridiculous, to the point where Jacob was even surprised when I called him on my break. Speaking of which…

Jacob!

I was supposed to call him when I got out of work.

I fumbled through my bag and pulled out my cell phone. When I pressed the on button it buzzed and made all sorts of crazy ass sounds.

Twenty-five minutes till nine. I still had sometime before our usual phone call.

Three new voicemails.

I put the receiver to my ear.

"Hey Isabella-la, it's me, Seth. You probably don't remember me seeing as how you haven't returned any of my texts or even called to say 'hi'. You know what though, I see how it is, Bella. You move to big bad California and suddenly little Seth Clearwater is a nobody. Just calling to see how things were going. You have Jake over here worrying like…well you know what? That's not important. I wasn't even supposed to-shit! You know what, never mind, I'm just going to go, Bella. Call me? I'd really _love_ to talk to you."

Seth Clearwater.

Loved the kid, I really did. He's Jacob's next door neighbor and a year younger than the two of us. But his unfinished sentences were a little fishy.

Next message.

"Bella. It's Embry. Haven't talked to you in awhile. I miss you. Jacob's a mess without you here." There was some rustling in the background and another voice came on the line. "BELLA! Quil Ateara here! Don't listen to Embry. Jake isn't a mess. He's like a black hole spiraling out of control. Okay well maybe not, but he misses you, Bella. He doesn't have to tell me to know that. Hope all is well, call us back."

Embry Call and Quil Ateara.

Jacob's best friends. Two of the most amazingly funny kids you'll ever meet.

There was something about their message that stuck out though. The black hole spiraling out of control. Matched with Seth's unfinished sentences.

What the hell was going on in La Push?

Next message.

"Yo, Bella, it's Jared. Hit me back girl," a loud smack echoed in the background. "Dammit, Kim that hurt!" Muffled voices filled the silence. "Sorry, Bella. Kim wanted me to apologize to you. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. But seriously, call me, I wanna talk to you."

There was some more rustling and a few whispers.

"Bella, hun, it's Kim. Why did you leave me here with these yahoos? Do you know how sorry I am that you're probably getting off of work or getting out of class to at least two voicemails from these idiots? Yes, because I know Embry and Quil called you, I was sitting right there. Seth had a thought of calling you as well. If he did, well, let me just extend my grief for you. You're wasting your precious minutes on listening to these guys mumble on about nothing in particular. Kind of just like I'm doing. Anyways, I miss you, Bella. It's awful spending time with the guys without you. Just not the same. Call me sometime, we can talk. But seriously give me a call Bella, you know I'm always _here_ if you need to talk."

Jared and Kim.

Jared was one of the older kids in our little group of friends. He kept Quil, Embry, Jacob and Seth out of trouble, well most of the time. As for Kim, well, Kim was my lifesaver back in La Push. As much as I loved spending time with my boyfriend and his friends there were just some days I needed girl time. Hence Bella and Kim Girl Time Day was created.

Again, it sounded like their voicemail had some ulterior motive, especially the end of Kim's. I had a feeling that Jacob was a little bit more upset than he let on to be. I knew I should've been paying a little more attention to him. It wasn't my fault though. I have class and homework and Edward.

Wait, Edward?

Edward shouldn't even be a part of the equation. Yet, he was.

I approached the steps to the dorm and contemplated on going in.

I knew Edward would be waiting for me in the living room. like always.

I knew Edward would have some random movie ready in the DVD player, popcorn popped and the couch ready for movie watching.

I knew this, because I knew Edward. It's just what he did. It's what we did. It's what my life was slowly starting to become. Even after the awkward towel-shower-half naked moment last night he would still be there. He was the bigger person, the adult in the relationship that could handle seeing me almost naked. While I was the child and couldn't even look at him without remembering that moment.

God, I was doomed.

_"Is this the real life, Is this just fantasy, Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality, Open your eyes look up to the skies and see. I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy. Because I'm easy come,easy go, little high,little low. Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me..."_

Paul? What was he doing calling me?

Wait, stupid question. If Seth, Quil, Embry, Jared and Kim were calling I should've known Jacob would get Paul to call. That is if Jacob was behind the mysterious La Push calls, which I was sure he was. He would get Paul to call me because he knew Paul would get through to me. Only because of the fact that Paul and I were thicker than thieves. Something about Paul just clicked with me and Jacob hated it. Actually, I think Jacob just hated the fact Paul was dating his sister.

"Paul…"

"Hey, doll face," he replied.

"Please don't say it. I know I haven't called, I know Jacob's a mess, I know you miss me and everything is fine. I'm fine, California is fine, school is fine. Please tell Jacob to stop bribing everyone to call me and bug me. There's nothing wrong except for the fact my boyfriend is having his friends do his dirty work. I'm disappointed in you though, Paul, I thought you we be above helping Jacob."

There was a bench on the side of the stairwell and decided to sit down. I guess I wouldn't be going inside at the moment.

"Whoa, Bella where'd that come from?" he questioned a bit confused.

"Your phone call, Paul. You haven't called me in awhile and besides the last time we talked it was extremely brief. What gives?"

"I miss you, Bella."

"Yeah, well apparently so does Seth, Embry, Quil, Jared and Kim."

"What are you talking about?"

"They all called me tonight, leaving messages about how-"

"I told him not to do that!" he interrupted me.

"Told who not to do what?"

"Bella, look I'm really sorry about Jacob. He's just a bit worried at the moment. He came up with this ridiculous idea last night to have everyone call you and see if they can get some sort of information out of you. Something about you acting all weird and strange, I really started to tune him out when he started rambling on. I only caught pieces of it. Something about your roommates, is everything okay?"

Roommate situation.

Damn that stupid situation. I still hadn't had the heart to tell Jacob the truth yet and I knew I'd kick myself for it later. But the situation had officially reached the inner circle of my friends back in La Push. It was only time before he found out.

"Everything is fine with my roommates, Paul. It's just…complicated."

"Complicated?"

"Yeah, complicated," I sighed running my fingers through my hair. A habit I picked up from Edward, "Just like that Avril Lavigne song."

Dammit. Edward strikes again. And so does Avril, apparently.

"See, Bella, you always know how to make me feel better," he chuckled.

"Yeah, even when things are a little weird. What can I say, I try," I admitted.

"Well, I bet I could beat whatever complicated you've got. It was actually the reason I called."

"Oh?"

It was silent on the end. As if he was seriously contemplating on whether or not to tell me. It must be serious.

"IaskedRacheltomarryme," he blurted quick and fast. I almost didn't catch it, but the weeks I'd spent living with Alice and her mile a minute talking actually came in handy.

He asked Rachel to marry him.

Oh, was Jacob going to be so pissed.

"Have you told Jacob?"

Silence. That's a negative.

"She's pregnant."

I couldn't help but laugh. Holy hell what I wouldn't give to be there when Paul told Jacob he knocked up his sister. Paul may be older than Jacob, but my Jakey could pack a punch.

"Bella, it's not funny," he huffed.

"I'm sorry Paul, it's just…oh my please let me be on the phone when you tell Jake, please Paul?"

"Bella, I wasn't done telling you the story. Aren't you at all curious about how I asked her? You girls eat that shit up."

"Sorry hun, go tell my Mr. Suave how'd you ask you baby mama to marry you," I smirked. If I was I sitting next to him he would've slapped my arm by now either that or shoved me off whatever I was sitting on.

"We were down on the cliffs, above First Beach. I had the ring, I got down on one knee, all traditional you know? Took her hand in mine, looked her in the eyes and said 'Rachel Black, I love you, will you marry me'. Do you know what she said Bella?"

"If I did I wouldn't have asked Paul. Enlighten me what did she say?"

"'I'm pregnant'."

"Wait, you asked her to marry you before she was your baby mama?"

"Yes and now it looks bad because people will think differently," he admitted.

What the hell was happening in La Push? Paul was willingly committing to Rachel. I didn't know what to say. I was speechless.

"Bella, say something. This is why I called you. I figured you would know what to say," he pleaded, "I found out today. After she told me I slipped the ring on her finger, kissed her and took her home. I've been running through the forest all afternoon trying to clear my head. What the hell am I supposed to do? Jacob is going to kill me. Billy is going to kill me, at least I asked him first. Bella, what am I supposed to do?"

"Paul, listen calm down. Take a deep breath," I could hear Paul inhaling some air and quickly exhaling. "Good. Now go to the Black's, sit down and talk to Rachel about this, because if I know you Paul you didn't even say a word about it to her. She's probably sitting in her room all emotional and hormonal and confused as hell. Don't tell Jake just yet, let me talk to him and well-"

"Bella? There you are!" I was interrupted by that voice, his voice, Edward's voice. He was right in front of me.

I looked up and there he was standing his hands playing with his car keys.

Car keys? And why wasn't he upstairs waiting for me?

"Bella, you okay? Who is that?" Paul's voice echoed.

Shit.

"Um just a friend. Listen, Paul, congratulations on both accounts. Talk to Rachel, send her my love. Don't tell Jacob just yet and…call me tomorrow," I quickly said as Edward approached me, a curious look on his face. His eyes studied my expression. He realized I was worried about something.

His eyes, those green eyes that…

That had seen me almost half naked. The blush crept up on my cheeks as Edward let out a soft chuckle.

"Bella, are you sure you're okay? Maybe Jacob was righ-"

"Don't you dare take his side, Paul! Contrary to what he says, I'm fine, everything is fine. It's just…I told you it's complicated!"

"Defensive much, Bells?"

"Shut up, Paul. Go talk to Rachel, bring ice cream. She'll love you even more. Talk to you later?"

"Alright whatever, doll face. You know I'm here right? No matter what it is..."

"Yeah I know. Bye, Paul," I sighed as I ended the call.

"Everything alright?" Edward asked sitting down on the bench next to me.

_Did I say you could sit next to me?_

"Fine. I was just talking to Paul, one of my friends from back home. He just proposed to his girlfriend, she told him she was pregnant instead of an answer."

"Wow, intense," he paused, swinging his key ring around his finger. "Listen, Bella, about last night…"

"I don't want to talk about this, Edward." I got up and started to head towards the building. There was no way I was having this conversation right now.

"Bella, please. It was an honest mistake. I mean if I would've known, it wouldn't have happened. I hated waking up this morning finding that you dashed out earlier than usual just so you wouldn't have to face me."

I looked at him.

"Don't tell me that _you_ had something to do either because you would've told me. I know you, Bella."

_Dammit. He did know me. _

"Well…whatever, Edward. I was just worried, scared that…"

"Bella stop," he interrupted me. His hand grabbing for my wrist twirling me around to face him. Our bodies were up against each other and I could feel a blush rising in my cheeks. All because of the immediate closeness between Edward Cullen and I. his finger brushed against my jaw line down to my chin lifting it up so he could look me in the eyes. "Don't ever do that again. Don't ever leave without telling me. Don't feel ashamed of what happened. It was bound to happen sooner or later. The six of us in one dorm, just be glad it was me you ran into and not Emmett."

"Ugh, that would've been horrible."

"Exactly! Bella, I don't know about you but my day sucked. There was just something off about it. I figured out it was because my day started off wrong. You were gone and I felt empty. The past few days have been amazing. I haven't felt this alive in forever, if ever. You make me smile, Bella. I don't know what it is, I just…" there was this awkward silence between us. Silence that should've been filled with Edward's voice.

Silence that I had to break.

"You just what Edward?"

He shook his head, "It's nothing never mind." His grip on my wrist loosened and he brushed passed me to the door.

"Edward, wait!" I called out before I even realized what I was doing.

I was running after him.

"Edward what were you going to say? Obviously it was important otherwise you wouldn't have even thought to say it."

"Nothing Bella. It'll just…" he shook his head again, not even bothering to turn and face me. "I'll see you upstairs."

He started to turn the knob on the door leading into the building.

"Edward…" I whispered, "please."

He stopped.

_Don't make me beg._

For some reason I needed to know what he was going to say. I knew deep down inside that as I kept pushing him for an answer I was just begging to open Pandora's Box.

"What's on your mind? We told each other we would never keep secrets," I whispered low enough that I knew he would be able to hear me.

Edward slowly turned on his heels looking me dead square in the eyes. He took two steps towards me.

"Bella, it's just…" he whispered. He brought his hand up to my face softly caressing my skin. His eyes stared at my face like he was committing it to memory. His other hand touching every bare piece of skin he could get it on, like it was the last time he was going to touch me.

Whatever he was going to say was serious.

Serious enough that he thought I would run away screaming, so he needed to commit everything about me to memory. So he'd remember.

"Promise me you won't leave," I muttered.

"I would never leave you, Bella. I feel drawn to you, I could never leave you. Something about you draws me in. You're…" he gulped drawing his face closer to mine. His hot breath blowing against me.

My heart was racing.

That feeling I got when Edward kissed me in the hall came back. Suddenly there was nothing else in the world, I felt like I could fly again.

My breathing was irregular, if I was breathing at all.

My eyes zeroed in on his lips as his tongue darted out to lick his lower lip.

The moment was straight out of a movie. The star crossed lovers finally meeting. They lean in about to share a kiss. The moment their lips touch fireworks explode and it's in that moment they know they've found the rest of their life.

But it wasn't supposed to be like that with Edward.

I'd found my life with Jacob.

But Edward was right. There was something that drew me to him. Something that connected us in some deeper way, for some unrequited meaning. Whatever it was that we shared was different than what I shared with Jacob.

"I'm what Edward? Say it…"

"You're…"

He leaned in closer our foreheads touching. Our eyes never once leaving each others.

This was it. He might just kiss me.

And for some reason I didn't care. I wouldn't feel guilty, because for some reason I knew it was supposed to be right.

"_La mia vita_," he breathed.

La mia vita. Italian no? I'd have to google that later.

"Bella, _la mia vita_, I would never leave you," he whispered.

His hands cupped my face, our eyes closed, he leaned in…

"_Maybe surrounded by, a million people I still feel all alone, I just wanna go home oh, I miss you, you know and I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you each one a line or two 'I'm fine baby, how are you?"_

Jacob.

It was nine.

Edward quickly stepped away from me and I groaned missing the warmth of his touch.

"_Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough my words were cold and flat and you deserve more than that…_"

My phone continued to ring. I pulled it out of my back pocket and answered it.

"Hello…"

"Bella, how was work?" Jacob asked.

I looked up at Edward.

That look of defeat washed over his face again.

He leaned in to my ear.

"I'll see you upstairs, _la mia vita_," he whispered softly sending chills down my spine. Then his lips pressed against the hallow of my ear.

Then he disappeared into the building.

**Edward P.O.V.**

La mia vita.

My life.

God dammit! She wasn't supposed to know about that.

I wasn't supposed to almost kiss her because let's face it kids, if _Jacob_ hadn't called it would've happened. Making things a little bit more complicated than they already were.

I spent the whole day kicking myself for last night. It was a situation that could've been prevented in some way shape or form, but it happened. I should've known Bella would do something stupid like leave early. My day was horrible and I couldn't concentrate at all during class. All I could think about was Bella.

Then when I went by the café to pick her up after work, she'd already gone. I hadn't expected to find her sitting outside the building on the phone. I didn't expect to almost tell her how I felt.

I didn't expect to almost kiss her the way I did.

And I was kicking myself for not kissing her anyways.

I planted myself on the couch and waited for her to come in so I could make it all better.

The door opened, slammed shut and I whipped my head back.

"Are the rooms locked?" Bella asked setting her back down.

"Haven't checked. Listen, Bella about earlier…"

She plopped down on the couch next to me, handing me an iced tea.

"Don't. I decided I don't want to know. I don't want to make things more complicated. Can we just be?"

Just be.

Be what? What is she trying to tell me? do I read in between the lines or leave it alone? Anyone could decipher that phrase in so many different ways.

"Just be?" I had to ask because if I didn't all hell would break loose and I'd go around thinking things were _way_ different then they were meant to be.

"Edward, I don't want things to be weird between us. I don't want to complicate things anymore than they already are. You've filled the void I've been missing. You've made the past few weeks bearable. I can't lose you."

Oh my Bella, you would _never_ lose me.

"You won't lose me. I don't know that I could ever stay away from you, Bella," I admitted.

"Okay, because I don't know that I could be away from you."

* * *

***sigh***

**La mia vita. Let's just let them be...**

_Yes, let them be their whatever it is they are ;)_

_**Reviews are better than being Edward's la mia vita.**_


	7. Such a Cruel Contradiction

**Disclaimer: ****We do not own Twilight or any of the characters that Stephenie Meyer created, even though they are pretty amazing. We also do not own Doggie Style. (you'll see in a moment...)  
**

**a/n- katiemcullen here. I really don't know if my penname has spaces or not. Hell, I abbreviate it sometimes. **

**Sorry for the delay, I suck at life. But you knew that. :P Aileen hasn't seen this. Heh. I killed everyone off...so I hope she's okay with that...  
**

* * *

"There's nothing ever wrong but nothing's ever right  
Such a cruel contradiction  
I know I cross the lines its not easy to define  
I'm born to indecision  
There's always something new, some path I'm supposed to choose."

_-"Burning Bright" _Shinedown

* * *

**Edward P.O.V.**

I glanced up at Bella sitting across from me. I couldn't help the small smile that spread across my lips.

Bella was perfection.

She was reading the paper in front of her and sighing. She hated the articles about bad news. She liked the good news, so she told me. She wanted things to go well in this world. She liked when people wrote about the good things in life, not the tragedies.

"What?" she giggled, looking up, "Do I have something on my face?"

"No," I assured her.

_Nothing but gorgeous features._

"Well then stop staring at me," she laughed.

But I couldn't help it.

She took another sip of her Vanilla Chai, because she earlier assured me it was a Vanilla Chai type day. I wasn't about to have her explain the reasoning behind her decision, but it was so Bella.

Everything she did was so Bella.

She dove back into her reading, and I dove back into my staring. Not in a creepy way, but I felt like I couldn't stop looking at her.

I noticed the way her lips turned down in dislike when she read something sad. I also noticed how she bit her straw when she drank hot liquids, and not cold ones. She couldn't drink out of those regular plastic lids without spilling the contents all over herself. So la mia vita settled for straws. I bet it was because she felt like she had more control over it. That way, she'd be able to stop the burning liquid before it got too severe. She didn't care if it wasn't classy, I'm sure that if she had coffee with the Queen of England at Starbucks, she would still drink through the damn straw. And she wouldn't care what anyone thought or said.

Cause that was Bella.

Miss Independent.

Her foot tapped restlessly against the tile floor of the coffee shop. The caffeine must have been flooding her veins, there was no other way that she would be able to tap her foot before caffeine.

She set down the newspaper and pushed it away.

"I can't read this crap anymore," she decided harshly.

"Alright then, what do you want to do?" I asked her.

We each had about an hour to kill before class, so we wouldn't just arrive there early.

"Let's just go back to the dorm," she decided.

_Oh right, that hellhole._

"No," I stated.

"No?"

"We're going to go Isabella Swan job hunting."

She chuckled. "Yeah, right."

"I'm serious," I retorted, "I'm setting you an application goal. You must fill out _at least_ one,"

She let out a light snort. "Oh, Edward, you will never learn."

And Bella was stubborn.

We both got up and I lightly slung my arm over her shoulder.

"Now, Bella, what kind of job do you want," I asked her.

"Something easy, with flexible hours, the usual."

"How about a whore, you could work nights _and_ weekends," I joked.

"I hate you, Edward Cullen," she spat venomously, her brown eyes rolled at my joke.

I spotted a help wanted sign, and I quickly ushered Bella across the street with me.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

What was this, Dora the Explorer?

"To get you a job," I told her.

I stopped in front of the restaurant and her eyes widened.

"No," she hissed flatly, "I don't do waitressing, Edward."

She pivoted on her feet and stormed off down the street.

"Why not?" I questioned, catching up with her.

"I trip over air particles, it's my mission in life to be clumsy. I guess it's my cross to bear," she shrugged.

I mean, I have seen the bruises she has, and there were countless times she had dropped things around the dorm. She only walked into a wall _twice_. I mean, she seemed rather stable. I guess I never really gave her grace and relationship with gravity much thought.

It made her Bella.

"Really?" I said in disbelief.

"Edward, if hospitals gave frequent flyer miles, I could go around the world. Twice."

I shook my head, chuckling.

"It's not only me I have harmed. Poor Jacob, and Charlie. Come to think of it, Billy and some other pack members have had injuries from me. Like the time Charlie had Jacob and I clean the gutters," she winced, "I ended up with a broken leg."

At the mention of Jacob, I felt my entire body stiffen.

_Get over it, she's with him._

"I mean, didn't your father or Jacob think twice about putting _you_ on a ladder?"

"Edward! I thought you were blind to my clumsiness," she laughed.

"I _was_," I informed her.

She stuck her tongue out at me and giggled.

"Traitor," she grumbled.

I guided her away from the restaurant and we crossed the street again. This time I had her in front of a pet store. I looked up at the sign and inwardly cracked up. It was called Doggy Style. Bella didn't notice the name.

"No,"

"It's a pet store, I mean, what could go wrong?"

"What could go wrong?! Edward?! I never kept a pet alive, _ever_!" she cried, her arms flailing in a hopeless attempt to make me sway my decision.

Sadly, la mia vita was wrong. My decision wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm sure you'll manage," I told her.

"Yeah, manage their carcasses!" she warned.

"Bella, you're being overdramatic. Have you been taking Alice lessons?"

"Edward. Trust me. I'm like the grim reaper. Anything I touch basically dies," she grimaced.

"Well let's test it out," I suggested.

She quirked an eyebrow at me. I held my hand out to her. Then, she smiled as she took the hint and I felt her small hand in mine. It wasn't awkward. It was refreshing. It was comfortable. La mia vita was holding my hand. I couldn't ask for more.

I longed to feel her creamy, smooth skin against mine since I first saw her. And it's now against me, I suppose.

_This is as good as it's going to get, Cullen. Take what you can._

"See, you're not the grim reaper," I assured her.

"But you're human," she reminded me.

True. Very true.

I scoped out the pet store through the windows, it looked relatively nice. The animals all seemed like they were taken care of.

"Let's go in," I ordered.

She shook her head.

I placed my hands on her back and guided her in. Her weak backpedaling was really no match for me. It didn't take very long at all to have her in that pet store. I marched straight up to the counter and asked for an application.

The lady behind the counter gave me a cheeky smile. And she was way to skanky to pull off cheeky. I wasn't liking it. Cheeky's brown hair was twisted into a rat's nest on top of her head.

Bella's form that previously stood next to me began to back away.

Cheeky Lady slid an application across the counter and handed me a pen.

"Bella?" I offered, tipping the pen in her direction.

She angrily took the pen and quickly scrawled out the information. When it came to the second page of the application. Bella was told to describe her relationship with animals.

She snorted and scrawled some bull-shitting answer down about how she had gotten through her toughest times through the help of animals. No doubt, it was a lie.

She handed the application back to Cheeky Lady who gave it a quick once-over.

"When can you come for an interview?" Cheeky Lady asked her.

Bella's lips parted in a perplexing stare, "I…uh…are you serious?"

Cheeky Lady smiled, "Yes, I am. When do you think you can make it in again?"

"How about tomorrow?" Bella offered.

"Sure, I'll give you a call," Cheeky Lady decided.

"Thanks," Bella said.

She turned around and looked at the puppies in the cages.

One dog just took a crap and was eating it.

"Aw, no…don't do that!" Bella screeched as she rapped on the glass.

The dog's head whipped up and stared at Bella and started barking.

It was one ferocious animal. Its teeth were bared and its eyes were nearly jumping out of its head.

"Edward!" she cried, "Make it stop!"

"Maybe we should just go, Bella," I ordered as I grabbed her upper arm by my hand.

I led her out of the store and out to the sidewalk.

"See?" she cried, "Edward, face it, you were right. I am better off a whore."

Well, little did she know, she was going to be working at a place that sounded more like a whore house than a pet store. So, she sort of got her wish.

"Just wait and see what happens with this job," I encouraged her.

"Fine," she agreed.

"Bella, look up," I instructed her.

She glanced up and a horrified expression crossed her face.

"DOGGIE STYLE?!" she hissed, "Edward Cullen, you mean that I'm working at a place named after a sex position?!"

I couldn't handle it anymore. I busted out laughing in her face.

She scowled, "This isn't funny, Edward."

"You're right, it's not funny. It's hysterical," I chuckled, finally calming myself down.

"I hate you, Edward."

"Hey, it's not my fault you're oblivious," I chuckled.

She nastily rolled her eyes at me as she brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Let's go back to the dorm," I suggested.

She shrugged as she angrily led the way.

**Bella P.O.V.**

I flopped down on my bed in my room when Alice danced in. I didn't even have to look to see who entered.

"Well, well…I hear someone's going to get some tails wagging!" Alice chirped, her eyes excited and giddy.

I pulled my pillow over my head, "It's just a nightmare, I'm going to wake up any minute now," I chanted to myself.

Alice yanked the pillow off my face roughly.

"Hey!" I cried, "That's mine!"

She smiled evilly.

"Can I dress you for your job interview?!" she asked, putting on her innocent look.

"No," I told her sternly.

Her sincere face turned into a pout, "But, Bella…Rosalie doesn't let me dress her anymore,"

"Because Rosalie is smart,"

Just then, Rosalie came in.

"Why, thank you, Bella at least someone has some sense," Rosalie announced playfully.

Woah, wait a second. Was Rosalie Hale actually being _nice_ to _me_?

I was thoroughly and completely shocked. I have learned to avoid that blonde monster.

"Looks like someone pulled the stick out of her ass. Oh, wait…Emmett did that for you, didn't he?" Alice giggled.

"Alice, you _really_ know how to piss a girl off, don't you?" Rosalie said meanly. Her lips formed into her usual tight line. No smile, all anger.

Alice smirked, "Rose, girlie, can you please convince Bella that she should let me dress her for her job interview?"

"Interview? Where?" Rosalie asked curiously, completely ignoring Alice's lost cause.

Rosalie Hale was beginning to come around. She wasn't nearly as bad as I had thought. At least she pretended she cared.

"At that pet store just off campus," Alice answered for me.

"Doggie Style?!" Rosalie laughed.

I slowly nodded my head in shame.

"Oh my God! Bella, it sounds like…" Alice chirped.

"I know what it sounds like," I informed her, "Edward didn't tell me what it was called before…"

"You have eyes, Bella," Alice noted, "Just not for fashion. I mean have you seen your outfit?"

I glanced down, my worn out Forks Police Force t-shirt wasn't the most flattering, but it was fine with me. I think she was scowling at my beat up Converse. I had them since sophomore year, Jacob bought them for me, and I just couldn't part with them. I'm more than positive Alice was also hating my beat-up, grease stained jeans. Another thing that got that way because of Jacob, I would spend countless hours out in his garage, just fascinated with how he knew what was wrong with something just by looking at it. The knees were completely worn out, the bottom of them were frayed and torn.

"You look like a street urchin," Alice scowled. "I feel like I should be serving you free soup."

"You aren't dressing me," I firmly stated, standing my ground.

"Oh, I am! You just wait, missy," she chirped as she left the room.

She probably couldn't stand me and my clothing anymore. So she left.

Rosalie stood up awkwardly and followed her.

My phone began vibrating. I have learned to keep it on vibrate since Jasper and Emmett learned the song. They would sing along whenever my ringtone would go off. It would cause Rosalie and Alice to yell at them to shut up, and I would end up with a major headache while trying to talk to Jacob. Well, sometimes talking to Jacob would result in a headache. Then I'd have a double headache. It really wasn't fun.

I flipped open my phone and laid back on my pillows.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey Bella. Leah, stop that!" Jacob cried.

Leah?

"Jacob? Leah? What?" I questioned.

"Bells, it's okay. It's just Leah," he confirmed.

_Just Leah. _

There was never a 'just Leah'. It was always a 'get Leah the hell away from me,' or 'let's get out of here Leah's coming,'. He never referred to her like that. Was I being…replaced?

"Leah Clearwater?" I asked, my throat suddenly drying up.

"Yeah, you know her," Jacob chuckled.

Of course, I knew Leah. Everyone knew Leah. Just, no one really liked her. She would always complain about the pack and the weird rituals. She was such a bitch. Jacob hated her. Why the hell was he with her then? I mean, sometimes Jacob would hang out with Seth, but he was a nice guy. Now, Leah, she was a handful, and an earful.

"Jacob, why are you with her?" I questioned.

"Bells, you're just full of questions today, aren't ya?" Jacob laughed. Along with Leah.

Bitch. I was on speakerphone.

So I did what any pissed off, irate girlfriend would do.

I hung the fuck up on him.

A moment later, he called again. This time, I just stared at my phone, not feeling an ounce of regret for hanging up on him.

I got up and slung my bag of books over my back for my class. Edward was sitting at the table, his hands still cradling the Vanilla Chai I ordered for him. He was hunched over slightly, just enjoying being alone.

The sight of him brought a smile to my face. Talking to him immediately made me feel better.

I set my phone down on the table. It began vibrating again.

"Aren't you going to get that?" Edward noticed.

"Nope," I decided.

I saw his eyes glance over the caller I.D. screen.

"It's Jacob," he confirmed.

I scoffed. I knew that.

"I know. Fuck, Jacob," I hissed bitterly, leaning my arms across my chest and leaning back in my chair.

* * *

**a/n- And the bitchy, psycho girlfriend award goes to...Bella Swan! Hoped all of you enjoyed this. Sorry I'm such a fail. It happens? *dodges many food objects thrown at head*I hope your lives are better than mine :) And no...no one really died. I was just...lying.  
**

**  
Alright, babes, review, review, review!!! We love 'em!**


	8. Fireflies

**Disclaimer: We in no way shape or form own Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's characters. We also don't own any pieces of music, movies, and other random things that might show up. We do this purely for the joy of expressing ourselves and having fun while doing it.**

**Authors' Note: **_Katie M Cullen here! _**Bemylullaby too! We're posting together, epic right? **_So, it was MY lovely idea to post on Tuesday...because it's already tomorrow in Australia. _**That or she was just a little lazy and didn't want to post tomorrow. **_So this one's for miztrezboo and her Gin Wednesday! Yay! Hooray! She gets to celebrate it on her day. _**Yes, just for you cassikins, because we all know how she loves her some Gin Wednesday. **_So for those of you who are still dealing with your Tuesday...well lucky you! _**Yes because my Tuesday was full of heat, whiny kids and annoyed parents. Lucky me. **

_Also...has anyone seen those wolf pack pics? _**Let me point out that Katie wouldn't have seen them if I hadn't freaked out and shared with her she wouldn't have seen them until later on. So, I win. **_*fans self* Oh goodness...my heart was beating really fast. _**Let me also add that I a) stopped breathing b) couldn't remember my name c) I think my brain turned to mush. **_And those ABS! gosh...I think they may just make New Moon an even more eye-candylicious movie. _**And Alex effin Meraz…November 20****th**** seems sooooo far away. **

**Team Paul…speaking of Paul. Let me take this time to pimp out the contest I'm co-hosting (if you guys haven't already heard). It's the Forbidden Love Affair Contest…for more details see my profile or the profiles of Goldentemptress, Kyla713, Miztrezboo, or Nostalgicmiss. I wrote a one shot in a pairing I've never seen before, and I don't think anyone else has seen either, Paul and Bella. :D Yes…**

**So now…on with the chapter…let's do this!**

* * *

"Like autumn turns leaves, winter will breathe, cold on our necks, snow in our paths.  
Wherever she goes, all that I know about us is that beautiful things never last,  
that's why fireflies flash."

-"_Fireflies"_ by Ron Pope

* * *

**Bella's POV:  
**

"I know. Fuck, Jacob," I hissed bitterly, leaning my arms across my chest and leaning back in my chair.

It frustrated me to the brink of insanity that I was letting something like this get to me. It was _only_ Leah Clearwater. What is she going to do?

"Bella, you don't mean that," Edward said. "You wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head. "No I don't want to talk about it. Can we just watch a movie or something? This might be the last free weekend I have in awhile. I don't want to spend it thinking about Jacob and _Leah_."

"Don't bottle up the emotions, Bella."

"Don't bottle up the emotions, Bella," I mocked Edward.

"I'm just trying to help, _la mia vita._ You know that's what I do, I'm here for you. You name it, I'll do it." He scooted closer to me from his spot on the couch. "Don't let Jacob get you down Bella. I'm sure there's an explanation for it. You guys grew up together, he's best friends with her brother, they-"

"Don't Edward. Just please, movie?"

"I'm just saying…" he looked at me, egging me on to talk about the whole situation.

"And I'm just saying I want to watch a movie. End of story, end of conversation."

"Okay, Bella," Edward said defeated.

* * *

**Edward's POV:**

Two weeks.

Two weeks had gone by since Bella really talked to Jacob. Ever since that conversation where this Leah girl was mentioned their conversations became shorter and always the same.

"How was your day?" "Mine was good." "Work is fine." "Tell my dad I love him." "Take care, Jacob." "I love you, good night."

Two weeks had gone by since Bella started working at Doggie Style. Which cut Bella and Edward time in half, if not more. We continued our daily routine. We'd walk to the coffee shop before class, I walked her to class. We met up for lunch where we would argue over who got to pay. I usually won and Bella went off to pout at a table, sometimes she called Jacob, sometimes she just sat there mindlessly staring into space. I met her after she got out of her last class and we walked back to the dorm.

She would spend an hour attempting to do whatever homework she had. Most of the time Emmett bugged her to play Raving Rabbids with him on the Wii or Alice talked her ear off about their much needed shopping trip. So her hour of free time rarely was used for homework.

When it was time for her to work, we walked together and talked about random things. When she got home from work we usually ate dinner together, sometimes we were joined by the others, but most of the time it was just us. After we ate it was homework time. Eventually we would fall asleep on the couch. Some nights she would actually make it to her bed, but most she fell asleep cuddled up against my body, wrapped up in a blanket.

I took any time I could get with Bella, even if it was just for a few minutes. I found myself needing Bella like I needed air. I was way into deep with the whole situation, but there was no way to escape how I felt. I knew I was just asking for heart break, but I didn't care. I would do anything to make Bella happy, even if it ended in my heart breaking.

I never mentioned Jacob's phone call again, it was an unspoken rule between the two of us.

"I still can't believe I let you talk me into this Edward," Bella whined as she walked along the beach, her bare feet creating imprints in the sand.

"I like to treat my friends out for a night out on the town. You're my friend, are you not?"

It was my excuse, treat my friends out for a night out on the town. It wasn't a date, just two people enjoying each other's company over dinner. If you asked anyone else they would tell you it was a date. Hell, I might even consider it a date, but I couldn't tell Bella that. That would be crossing the line between just being and actually dealing with what was happening between us.

It was Friday, the only day Bella had off from school and work. I was determined to make the best of this day and any other Fridays to come.

"Yeah well, usually a night on the town involves a restaurant, maybe a movie or dancing. Not a picnic at the beach." she gestured to the blanket strewn across the sand a few feet away from us.

She could complain all she wanted to, but I knew she was enjoying herself.

"Well, I know how much you love the beach, Bella." I caught up to her grabbing her hand twirling her around to face me.

"The beach reminds me of home. Especially this beach, Edward. The cliffs," she whispered drawing her hand away from mine.

"I thought you would like it. I know how much you miss home. I wanted to bring home to you, well as much of it as I could." I pulled her into my arms in a comforting hug.

Home was sore subject for Bella. She missed her dad, her friends, and Jacob. No matter how much she played off the fact that she was upset with him I knew she missed him. He was all she ever knew. Naturally, she would miss him.

Although, as selfish as it may sound, I'm taking this little riff in their relationship and running with it. Bella was upset with him, leaving her to lean on me for support. Thus meaning more Edward and Bella time, more time with la mia vita.

Jacob was a complication. The one thing standing between us, between crossing the line from just being, to being _together_. I would never make Bella chose. As long as she was happy I would be happy. Even if it meant sitting in the background as she lived her life happy with Jacob. I would do it, just because it made her happy.

"I do like it, Edward. I appreciate the gesture but…"

"But what, Bella? Tell me what you're thinking." I interrupted her.

Her head looked up from its spot on my chest. Her brown eyes were glazed over and watery.

"It's just, I don't know anymore, Edward. Sometimes I feel like life would just be easier if I was home."

"How so?"

"Just because at home everything is there for me. I never have to worry about anything. My life is there, everything I've ever known is there. Whereas here…"

"Everything is unknown." I finished for her in a whisper. "That's why you came down here though. To see what else was out there, right?"

"Yeah, but I didn't think it would be so hard. I mean, I never thought there would be so much…" she paused almost regretting what she started to say. Her eyes looked like she was searching for something to say.

"Complications?" I offered. "So much more out there?"

"You could say that. It's just, here in California I feel like a different person. I mean back home I was Bella Swan, Chief Swan's daughter, Jacob Black's girlfriend and best friend. I was that girl that was always with the boys. Here, I'm just plain ol' Bella Swan. There's nothing else attached to it. Although I like the attached, it's just what I know."

"You're comfortable with attached. You're comfortable at home. It's common. Here with us, you're out of your element. Everything you do, everything you encounter is new to you. I would expect your mind to be a little mixed up."

"It is. Then there's…" her eyes shifted towards the crashing waves of the ocean. She was staring out into the horizon. The sun was setting, the sky a beautiful mixture of reds and oranges.

"Bella?" I whispered in attempt to gain her attention again.

"Things here are just complicated," she sighed pulling herself out of my arms.

She walked a few feet away from me towards the water. She buried her toes in the sand, the waves crashed up against her bare skin. She looked lost, like she was looking for an answer. Something to tell her what to do.

It crushed me deep down inside knowing that there was a good chance I was the blame for her confusion. If she was going through anything remotely close to how I was feeling, she had every right to call "California" complicated.

"_La mia vita_," I whispered taking a few steps closer to her, until I was standing right behind her. I brought my hands up to her bare shoulders, running them down slowly. I could see her chest rise up and down as she took deep breaths. Her eyes were closed shut.

"Edward," she sighed barely loud enough for me to hear. She brought her hand up to her shoulder placing it over mine. That refreshing feeling I got the last time our hands touched washed over me. "What am I supposed to do?"

She turned around to face me. Her eyes were watery and glazed over. She looked up at me begging for an answer. The smile on her face was gone, her lips pulled down in a frown.

"Whatever you _need_ to do to make you happy, Bella. It's your life." I reached up to tuck a stray hair behind her ear, letting my hand slip down to her cheek, cupping her face.

Just like she had done earlier she placed her hand on top of mine, this time lacing her fingers between mine just a little.

"I don't know what I want, Edward."

A gust of wind blew, blowing her hair in the wind. In this light with the sun setting, she looked beautiful. Even if her face was sad and confused, she was still beautiful.

Whatever happened now I knew I would never regret.

"_La mia vita,_" I breathed again.

"Edward." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

I leaned in closer to her using my free hand to wrap around her waist pulling her body closer to mine.

Then our lips met.

I couldn't have prepared myself for the emotions that surged through my body as she deepened the kiss. I expected her to pull away, to run away, but she didn't. In fact she did the opposite. Her arm flew around my neck in attempt to pull her body up closer to mine.

I would remember this moment for the rest of my life. The way her soft pink lips felt against mine. The way her tongue dashed across my lip. The way it felt when her hands wound themselves into my hair. The way my body reacted to hers when I pulled her even tighter against my body.

I never wanted it to end.

I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to give her back to Jacob, but she wasn't mine. She wasn't mine to spoil, to love, to cherish. She was his, she would always be his.

I would have this moment though. The moment where all the questions of "what ifs" disappeared and it was just Edward and Bella on the beach. The waves crashing in the background, the sun setting, the wind blowing. It would always be our moment.

"Bella I can't, you can't." I pulled away from her.

Everything beautiful has to come to an end.

Looking up at me she bit her lower lip and nodded. She knew, she knew what we were doing was wrong. Her head rested against my chest, her arms wrapped around my body. Holding on like she never wanted to let me go.

We would always have this moment. The moment when we both knew in an instant how the other felt, how right we felt together.

"Let's get you home. You have to work in the morning." I leaned down kissing the top of her head softly.

"Okay."

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**Bella POV's:  
**

"So it's a good thing you haven't killed a pet yet," Edward smirked as we walked down the hallway to our dorm.

"I've only worked there for a weekend, two days, it's still early."

I was afraid that after that…kiss…we shared things we be awkward, but they weren't. We fell right back into the groove of our friendly banter, like it never even happened. There was the look on his face every time he would glance over at me from the driver's seat.

It was the same look I got when I watched him subconsciously as he studied or watched TV. It was a look I should be saving for Jacob, my boyfriend.

I had no idea what was going on. I had no idea what I even wanted to happen, all I knew was that my head was getting ready to explode from all the thinking.

"I have faith in you." Edward smiled down at me as he put the key into the door. "Besides, I don't think you could ever live with yourself if you killed a harmless little puppy."

"Edward!" I exclaimed as he pushed the door open. The loud booming laugh of Emmett was the first thing I heard coming from the living room. "You're so mean!"

The room went silent as soon as Edward slammed the door shut. Our roommates were all huddled around sitting on couches in the living room.

"Hey guys," Edward said setting his keys on the counter.

Rosalie and Emmett were looking at us. Alice and Jasper quickly turned their heads towards the door and that's when I noticed there was one other person in the dorm.

I stopped dead in my tracks as his head turned around. He had a smile on his face, but it was a fake façade. He was upset and he had every right to be.

My heart stopped.

Everything I knew and loved with in this room now.

My two worlds collided.

He was here, here in California, in my _coed_ dorm.

"Jacob…" I breathed, clutching my hands against my heart.

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**dun, dun, dun…and Katie, hun, I leave you to deal with that issue…have fun with that! **_Thanks Aileen, thanks._

_**Reviews are like first kisses as the sun sets.**_


	9. Shattered

**Disclaimer: We in no way shape or form own Twilight or any of Stephenie Meyer's characters. We also don't own any pieces of music, movies, and other random things that might show up. We do this purely for the joy of expressing ourselves and having fun while doing it.**

**a/n- Hi everyone, Katiemcullen here! Sorry for the fail! My computer hates my guts right now, and really only works when it wants to. I know, excuses, excuses. Please ignore the failish grammar, as I am sleep deprived. So...go read!**

**Edit: Bemylullaby here. Sorry for the delay guys, but there was a slight fail on Katie's end...but we forgive her because CLEARLY she was sleep deprived (although I wanna say I'm getting less sleep than her and functioning just fine. Although if you saw me last Friday you might question my sanity.) :D Also, I'm going to apologize for the fail of no posting last week. It was Katie's computer that decided to go crazy and turn into a vampire and when I say that it's because it died for a few days then came back to life, vampire right? Last Wendesday was supposed to be an EPIC Gin Wednesday too. Gah, for those of you who read _Nine Months In The Making_, I'm going to spare you my rant about the 100 Monkeys. For those of you who don't...well, if you ever get the chance to catch the 100 Monkeys when they come a city near you, run, go, do not stop...they're pretty amazing and I saw them without the lovely and talented Jackson Rathbone..so that's clearly saying something. Anyways, okay before I start on my rant I'm going to stop. You've waited long enough for this chapter...let's get to it kids!**

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"How many times can I break till I shatter?  
Over the line can't define what I'm after  
I always turn the car around  
Give me a break let me make my own pattern  
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered  
I always turn the car around,"

_-"Shattered"_ O.A.R.

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**Jacob P.O.V.**

"She's just forgetting about you, Jacob."

Those damn words haunted me every second since Leah uttered them. The girl was after me, and with Bella gone, I'm sure she's more determined than ever.

The drive to La Jolla wasn't so bad, some traffic along the way, but knowing I was going to see Bella, made it all worth it. I'd do anything for her. I missed her more than she would ever know. For some reason, I couldn't help but feel that she was _not_ missing me as much. And that hurt.

I didn't even tell Charlie where I was going, because I'm sure he would want to come with. And with the luck that both him and his daughter have, he'd walk in on her doing something way illegal.

He'd shit a brick, only because he was the officer who came into school to talk about underage drinking, drugs and all that fun stuff. He was a huge advocate about that. Bella was conveniently 'sick' that day. I couldn't blame her. Obviously, being Chief Swan's daughter had more cons than pros.

I parked my Volkswagen Rabbit at her dorm. I'm pretty sure I was in the right area. As I turned off the noisy ignition, I was tempted to stop and turn around and head back to Washington. I started into the building, thinking up some lame excuse as to why I was visiting her.

"I miss you," or "I love you," seemed good enough for me. But she could smell a lie from a mile away, and I wasn't going to let her forget about me. I was now slowly infiltrating her system. Not quite brainwashing, just reminding. Reminding her of where she's from, and who she is. Bringing her back to the reality she will have to face once she gets back home.

I stepped into the dorm and began up the stairs. I'm pretty sure she told me that she was living on the second floor.

"Hey, dude! Haven't seen you around here. I'm Mike Newton, and you're…"

"Jacob Black," I responded curtly.

"Ah…coming to visit a girlfriend, huh? Surprising her?"

"Yeah, you might know her,"

"Try me, brotha," Mike boasted, opening his arms like he was some kind of pimp.

"Bella Swan?"

He choked on his own words.

"You're not Edward!"

I gave him a puzzled look.

"Uh…never mind. She lives right there," he said pointing to the door.

This may explain why Bella's been ignoring me, and been so distant lately. Obviously she's with Edward. I should have thought of it sooner.

"Alright, Mike. Thanks," I replied.

"No prob, Jakey," he cooed.

I rolled my eyes. Damn Mike for being such a prick. Bella should never talk to him again.

He walked off and I knocked on Bella's door. I had to think though, didn't Bella sign up for an all girls dorm?

The door opened and a huge, bearlike man stood in the doorway. His shirt was off and I promptly shut my eyes, shielding them from anything I didn't need to see.

"Yo, man, open your eyes. I have a towel, see?" he informed, pointing down at the towel that hung on his hips.

"Uh, hi…I'm Jacob, Bella's boyfriend," I informed him, once I was sure he was indeed covered.

His eyes widened and he grinned.

"Ah! The boyfriend! Welcome to our humble abode. The Izster and the Edster just stepped out for the afternoon. Something about having a day of fun or something," he shook his head, "I don't know those crazy kids are always up to no good. But that's besides the point," he continued to explain.

Up to no good? An afternoon of fun? Izster? Edster? Why was a _man_ answering the door anyways? And _without_ a shirt on? Was this some sort of brothel?

"I'm Emmett, by the way. Iz's _wombmate_, cause y'know we're more than roommates!" he boomed, clutching his side as he chuckled at his own joke.

_Roommates? Wait, what?  
_

"Um, alright," I said, rocking back on my heels. I was burning with curiosity as to why Bella had roommates of the male gender.

"Well, come on in, Jake! We can wait for Bella and Edward together, while we talk a little, ya know, male bonding!"

He led me into a great room and showed me to the couch, like I didn't even deserve to be here.

He walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a handful of something out of a bowl. I saw milk drip down his hand as he stuffed some brown shit in his mouth.

"Count Chocula cereal, you want some?" he questioned, chomping on his food.

"No, I'm alright,"

"Suit yourself, it keeps the muscles toned and buff for my lady,"

A blonde girl walked in, she looked royally pissed.

"Speak of _my_ devil," he chuckled. "Or should I say my angel?"

"Emmett McCarty! We clearly have a visitor, and you're wearing a towel?!" she screeched.

Where were my earplugs? I couldn't imagine Bella living with these two!

He walked towards her and untied his towel, flashing her with his nude bottom half.

Thank god he was facing the other direction.

"Emmett, god help you if you don't put clothing on!" she fumed, smacking him in the back of his head.

"Ow, Rosalie!" he cried, clutching his skull. "Come on, admit it, you liked it!"

She smirked lightly, letting his childish nature get to her and then covered it up with her permanent scowl.

"No, I didn't," she hissed.

Emmett clutched his towel to his body as he galloped out of the room.

"I'm sorry about _him_," she snapped, rolling her eyes.

"It's alright,"

"Who are you?" she questioned, eyeing me like I was the dead dog who someone dumped on the couch.

"Jacob Black, Bella's boyfriend, I think…" I told her.

I saw her form stiffen as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Oh," she breathed.

"You don't like Bella?" I questioned.

She lightly shook her head. The permanent scowl softened. "I just take some time coming around to new people. It doesn't help that she reminds me of the girl who my ex cheated on me with,"

"Ouch," I agreed.

That had to be rough. That's like Bella living with someone that reminded her of Leah. Then again, that was a very different scenario. I quickly pushed that thought to the back of my mind and focused on other aspects of mine and Bella's relationship.

She grimaced, "Yeah,"

We both heard some shuffling and voices outside the door.

"Bella?" I questioned, hoping she was at the door.

"No it's just Alice and Jasper,"

"How do you know—"

"Trust me, Jacob, it's like everyone has their own personal ringtone around here. I know who's coming in the door just by their footsteps,"

I shook my head, this girl was absolutely mental.

Then the click of the door sounded, followed by arguing.

"Trust me on this, Jas, our common room lacks depth! We need a light tan and a dark tan to add dimension! I know what I'm doing with this space. The plain old white walls are making me nauseous!"

"Alice, calm down, darlin, we need to have a team meeting first," the tiny girl's boyfriend told her.

"But if everyone says yes, do you promise…"

"I promise, Alice," he calmed her.

I glanced over at the two who were fighting. He had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, much to her resistance. Soon, she melted into him. It's like they went from the brink of fighting and arguing to complete and utter peace.

"I'm sorry about yelling at you, it's just this room is absolutely horrid!"

Rosalie cleared her throat, breaking up their moment.

"Oooh! We have a visitor!" the girl chimed once laying her eyes on me. She giddily clapped her hands as she danced over to me, her boyfriend in tow.

"I'm Jacob, Bella's—"

"Bella's Jacob! Oh! It's great to finally meet you! I'm Alice," she smiled.

She threw her arms around me and squeezed with all her tiny might, but I felt like I was going to crush her, so I didn't exactly return the hug.

"I've just heard so much about you!" she chirped.

"That's a good thing, right?"

"A very good thing," she said, smiling.

That girl did a lot of smiling. She seemed very energetic and sure of herself. All these people had such different personalities from the next, I honestly couldn't keep up with it all.

"Bella never told me you were coming," she noted.

"I never really told her either," I admitted.

"Surprising her, huh?" Alice's boyfriend added.

"I'm Jasper, Alice's boyfriend,"

"I'm Jacob," I said, reaching out to meet Jasper's hand.

He had a good strong handshake, which I liked. It meant someone here was actually sane and not parading around in towels and flashing their girlfriends. He seemed like the type who would respect a girl, and treat her right. Emmett on the other hand, seemed like an ex-player. But I'm sure Rosalie has whipped him into shape.

"I hate that title," Alice snapped.

"Babe, what?" Jasper questioned.

"Boyfriend and girlfriend. We're so much more than that, Jas."

"Alright, you two freaks, no mushy talk in front of guests. Plus, I need to keep my sanity somehow," Rosalie interrupted.

I take back my mental comment about Rosalie, she was just the bitch of the crowd.

Emmett came charging in, fully clothed this time, and scooped Rosalie up in his arms, flinging her over his shoulder.

"Emmett!" she screeched, punching her fists into his back.

She kicked her long legs as he held her tighter.

I've decided. First stop, someplace that has earplugs. My treat, of course.

Damn, that Rosalie bitch was annoying, not mental, just annoying.

Emmett placed Rosalie upright on the couch and sat next to her, he casually put his arm around her shoulder as he whispered in her ear. It was something dirty I'm sure, considering it made Rosalie bite her lip to keep from snickering.

Emmett was booming with laughter.

Alice and Jasper sat on the couch with me. I was by myself in all awkwardness, sitting in the middle of the room being the only single guy.

"Shhh! Emmett, your wombmate is here!" Alice chirped.

She must have those ringtone senses too.

From what I've gathered, Emmett's wombmate is Bella. If the wombmate is here, that means Bella is here. Finally.

"Besides, I don't think you could live with yourself if you killed a harmless little puppy," a man's voice chuckled.

"Edward!" Bella's voice chided him.

I heard the clank of keys being set down and I watched as the two of them peered around the corner of the room.

"Hey guys," the man's voice sad again.

She was right behind him. I kept my facial expression as positive as I could. She swept her mahogany locks out of her face as a million different emotions crossed her face.

Recognition. Confusion. Worry. Guilt. Love. Happiness.

"Jacob…" my name rolled off her tongue as if it pained her to say it.

Maybe Leah was right. Maybe she was forgetting me.

The smile that was plastered on my face, because I was seeing my girl again, disappeared, replaced by a frown.

Instantly as if she could read my mind, the moment she saw the change in my demeanor, the change in my expression, her hurt, guilty expression changed and a smile graced her face.

"Oh…my…god…Jacob!" she exclaimed leaving her spot next to _Edward_ to run at full speed at me.

"Bella, don't run, be careful please," I chuckled stretching my arms out to catch her.

Her body hit me like a ton of bricks. I tightly wrapped my arms around her as she locked her legs around my torso. I breathed in her scent, her everything. It was then that I realized exactly how much I missed her.

"I can't believe it's you!" she giggled as I set her down.

I fiercely pressed her lips to mine as I weaved my fingers through her long hair. She tugged on my hair as she forced her body closer to mine. A light moan escaped her lips as our tongues danced together.

She pulled away, breathless.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned.

"I missed you and I wanted to pay you a visit," I told her honestly.

I didn't lie. I just left out details. Some pretty major details. She didn't need to know that I drove all the way down here all day, all night to ease my worries. Only to find Bella hasn't been telling the truth either.

"Aw, Jacob!" she cooed, squeezing my arm.

I watched her expressions closely. Her lower lip twitched slightly and her eyes immediately went to Edward.

Edward. I looked over at her. Her eyes were still zeroed in on him, at his shocked expression. Her eyes sparkled when she looked at him.

There's only been one other person I've seen her eyes sparkle like that towards.

Me.

I had a feeling that this Edward character was a bit more, influential, in Bella's life the past few months.

"Edward, this is Jacob, my boyfriend," she said awkwardly. "Jacob, this is Edward, one of my roommates."

I noticed the way her voice cracked when she said roommates.

I saw Edward's green eyes flicker with some sort of hatred. So I shot him a glare.

_Back off, dude._

I decided to be the bigger man here, I reached my hand out to shake Edward's. I thought Jasper had a firm handshake, but I was wrong. Edward almost killed my hand. So I squeezed harder on his hand.

I heard some murmurs behind me.

We both released our hands simultaneously and I glanced back at Bella. She looked completely lost, as to unsure whose side to stand at or who to back up.

Something was clearly not right. There was something going on.

"It's nice to meet you, Jacob," Edward said congenially.

"Same, Edward," I replied.

Bella just stood there, completely dazed. She looked so confused she was such a people pleaser that she didn't want to disappoint anyone. I don't think Bella was liking this one bit.

"Bella, why don't you and Jacob go and catch up,"

"But, Edward, I have that term paper to write and I have to work early tomorrow," she hissed lowly.

"Bella we all know you've been slaving over that paper the entire week and work, you'll be fine. You're a trooper," he responded, amused.

I saw his lips twisted into some fucked up smile. I couldn't help but scoff at the looks he was giving her.

"I hate you Edward, I really do,"

"Come on, babe, show me around your campus," I said casually as I wrapped my arm around Bella's slender waist. I hugged her side against me and she remained stiff.

Something was happening to Bella. It was like she changed.

As she led us out the door, I could practically feel the stares following us to the door. Once we were out in the hallway she turned to me.

"What the fuck was that, Jacob?"

I stared at her in bewilderment.

"Really, Bella?" I cried.

_What the fuck is going on with you? Not to mention with Edward. _My brain was screaming at me.

"Just, why are you here? Is Charlie alright? Billy? One of the guys?" she babbled. I could practically see the wheels turning in her mind at the possibilities.

I scowled. "No, everything's fine in that department."

"Then why are you here? And why were you being such a prick to Edward?" She defended. I noticed her shoulders start to tense up, her fists balling up.

She was starting to get upset.

"Woah, Bella…calm down. I'm here because…well there are some things we need to iron out."

_Like the fact you never mentioned you lived in a coed dorm._

Her lips slowly parted in a gape. "Like you should talk, Jacob Black," she snarled.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. How about 'oh, Leah stop that…Leah, Leah, it's always fucking LEAH!'" she screamed at me.

She folded her arms across her chest as she stomped away, running down the steps and out the door.

I saw Mike Newton shake his head in disapproval.

"Nice goin, man," he shouted from down the hall.

"Fuck you," I spat bitterly as I chased after Bella.

I found her sitting on a bench below a tree. She had her knees pulled up to her chest and her face was all red from crying.

"Go away, Jacob," she sniffed.

"Bella, sweet-"

"Don't even try, Jacob, don't okay?" she interrupted.

"Just tell me what's wrong," I requested.

"I'm just not sure anymore, alright?" she screamed.

Sure Anymore.

_She's just forgetting about you._ Leah's words echoed through my head again.

"Why didn't you tell me you were living with guys," I said, addressing my first question. I would get to the so-called Leah issue later.

"Because of _this_!" she cried, "You overreact, Jacob. It's no big deal! They're harmless. You swear like I signed up for it."

"And that Edward…" I hissed bitterly.

"Do _not_ say anything against Edward or I will ask you to leave, Jacob." she demanded.

I backed off of the Edward subject slightly. "So you're just friends?"

She nodded, wiping her tears with her fingers. "He's like…we just…get each other. We are both the only ones without a lover in that apartment and I guess things just fall into place for us,"

"So nothing is going on then?"

"No!" she cried. "You believe me don't you Jake? You believe me, please believe me, I need you to believe me."

She chanted those words over and over and over again. Almost as if she was trying to convince herself that there was nothing going on between her and Edward.

Odd.

"Alright, alright. I believe you, babe,"

She smiled through her tears. This was going to be the end of it, I knew that whatever was going on down here in California was going to be an issue, one way or another.

"I miss you," she whimpered.

"I miss you too," I replied.

I took her hands in mine and kissed them tenderly.

"I feel so much better now," she said tiredly.

"Well that's good." _Because I still feel like shit. I still feel like there's something she's not telling me. I still feel like something is up._

"Yeah," she said quietly.

There was still so much more we had to work through. It looks like my impromptu trip was going to last a bit longer than I expected. There was no way I was going to leave California knowing there might be something going on with my girlfriend and one of her roommates. I needed to make sure that Bell was indeed mine and no one else's.

We would just have to take it one step at a time and work through this gap we've created.

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**a/n- So I'm making Aileen work through the Jacob/Bella gaps. Haha lucky her. So the chapter I had ready last week was slightly different and included Bella and Jacobness...and more Cullenness.. and an Edward POV but there's only so much I can do, okay? Technology hates me, freezes and deletes my documents that i forget to save!! When summer comes...you will have tons of updates! :)**

**review please?**

**Edit: See this is what happens when computers turn into vampires. Well guys, sit back and enjoy the ride because it's about to get a bit crazy! On a quick note...voting for the Forbidden Love Affair Contest is going on over at goldentemptress' profile...for all the info check my profile. I wrote this Paul and Bella one shot...and before you say anything give them a chance..you have to keep the fandom on their toes... :D go now vote!**


	10. Too Far Gone

**Disclaimer: We don't own it, never have, never *sigh* will. Damn. We also, don't own any lyrical genius used. Thank you.**

**Authors' Note: Bemylullaby here! This was supposed to be an epic day of Katie and I posting together, but alas RL squeezed itself in between us and it's just me. Although, there are some parting notes from Katie bellow. **

**So…today is Gin Wednesday! Hazzah! But it's an epic Gin Wednesday, not to say every Gin Wednesday isn't epic, but this one is special. It might give my 100 Monkeys Gin Wednesday a run for its money…well on second thought, no, not it doesn't. Not even by a long shot, but it's still special, because of two reasons. One, today marks the seventh month anniversary of the beginning of the great kindred spirit bond that is Katie and I. (yes I realize we're nerds for remembering this)…two, it's Robbie's birthday! (oh Robbie…might I use this time to pimp out the greatness that is "I Love LA" over on twilighted(dot)net? It's a Rob fanfic and it's EPIC!) :D Happy Birthday 23****rd**** Robert Pattinson!**

**I've kept you waiting long enough. This one is dedicated to the family and friend's of Daddy's Little Cannibal. May she rest in peace. **

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"I haven't seen you lately, but you still call me baby.

What about my name?

So I stand to save your soul, yes I stand to save your soul.

Before you're too far gone, before nothing can be done.

When I should I have lied, when I should've tried, when I had no fight in me"

-"_Too Far Gone (Never Think)"_ Sam Bradley

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**Edward's POV:**

The moment the door slammed shut I wanted to die.

Today was supposed to be perfect. It was perfect.

From the picnic, to the beach, to the sunset, to the…

Kiss.

It was our moment, our day, and it was all ruined. Because of him, because of Jacob and his jealous attitude.

I turned around to meet the faces of my friends. Their faces all bore the same expressions.

Sympathy.

"Don't." I shook my head brushing past Alice and Jasper towards my room.

"Edward," Alice called following close behind me. I could hear the sounds of her feet falling against the carpet.

I didn't even bother shutting the door. Alice came skipping through the door, shutting it behind her.

I slumped down on my bed with a defeated sigh.

I was in no mood for Alice's "Edward you can do it, you are Edward Cullen" pep talks.

"Spare me the pep talk, Alice, please."

Alice didn't stop, she was still walking towards me.

Whether I wanted to or not, I was getting this pep talk. Great.

"Edward, what just happened out there? What happened today? What's going on Edward? And don't you for a second even think to say nothing, because dammit Edward I know you, and there is something going on in that head of yours," she exclaimed taking a seat on the bed next to me.

And here it goes, might as well get it over with.

"It's just…I don't even know where to start. I shouldn't be surprised that something like this happened. It was bound to happen. I knew what I was doing when I made the decision to do it. I knew I would come out the under dog in the end. God I should've never done it," I mumbled furiously running my fingers through my hair.

As much as I didn't want to regret the beach and the kiss, I was slowly starting to. The tinge in the pit of my stomach was getting stronger and stronger.

"What are you talking about Edward? You're being quite vague about the entire thing. Did something happen between you and Bella? Edward, tell me."

"Listen, Alice, I don't want to talk about, please? Can you do that for me? Just leave it alone, I know it's a lot to ask for, but please, for me."

"Edward, whatever it, it must be serious. You never keep things from me, ever. You're an open book when it comes to me, but now when it comes to Bella, you close up, shut down. Listen Edward," she looked up at me with a smile. "Whatever it is, whatever happened just remember things happen for a reason. Whatever that reason was it'll work itself out, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever you say, Alice."

"Don't be so negative! You're always so negative when it comes to serious matters. Your glass is always half empty versus being half full."

"It's a little hard not to be negative when you're in love with a girl who doesn't love you," I blurted out before I realized what I said.

The smile on my sister's face grew ten times in the short span of a few seconds.

God, what did I just do?

"Edward."

"Alice, don't."

"Brother, dear."

"Alice."

"Oh twin of mine, whatever shall we do with you?"

"Alice don't you dare get any ideas."

"Oh but Edward…"

"No, end of story. Please, just leave it alone. I'm not going to be the one to break good things up. Bella is happy, that's all that matters. As long as Bella is happy, I'll be happy." I ran my hand lazily through my hair.

"But what about you, Edward? You deserve to be happy too, you can't keep beating yourself up over this. Whatever happened between you and Bella today was meant to happen. Stop trying to find reasons to regret it."

"But…"

"No, don't you dare regret whatever tangled web you and Bella have woven, Edward," Alice took my hands in hers, looking me dead square in the eyes, "whatever you do, whatever you want, know that we're here for you. We're here standing behind you, supporting you in your decisions. And know, that I think you and Bella would be great together."

"Alice…"

"I'm just saying, Edward. You guys would be amazing together. I've seen the two of you together. You compliment each other, I've never seen you like this. With Bella you have that glow about you, you get that ridiculous smirk on your face when she walks in the room. But right now, Edward you look like someone killed your cat, ran it over and then showed it to you. Whatever you do, don't let her see you like this. You're worried about making her happy. If she sees how much this Jacob thing is beating you up, it'll make things that much more complicated for her. Put on the happy face and just do it," Alice said getting up off the bed. "Don't go emo on us either."

And with that my sister walked out of the room.

She left me to wallow in my worries and doubts before Bella came back. Alice was right, I needed to get over this, I needed to come to terms with the fact that Bella isn't mine. That she's with Jacob and not me.

Not with me.

But with Jacob.

* * *

**Bella's POV:**

I turned over in bed only to be met by Jacob's warm, sleeping form.

Right, Jacob.

Alice and Rosalie had graciously given us the room when we came back up, claiming that we needed some "alone" time.

Alone time.

Right.

Jacob and I spent the rest of the afternoon beating around the bush. We wandered around the campus, went to dinner and came back to the dorm. When we got there everyone was sitting around the TV, everyone except Edward.

Edward.

The red numbers on the alarm clock screamed at me, it was three in the morning. I've been tossing and turning for hours now trying to get to sleep, but I couldn't. My mind wouldn't stop processing everything that happened today.

Edward's non-date-date, the picnic on the beach, the sunset, the kiss, the feeling of his lips on mine, the way my body still ached for him.

Then there was Jacob. I still couldn't fathom the idea that he was here, with me, lying next to me in my small full size bed. I knew the talk we had yesterday wasn't going to be the last. He took the news of my new living arrangements a bit too easy.

I couldn't do this, I needed to clear my head. There was no way I was going to get any sleep anyways. I was going to hate myself in the morning.

Carefully I tried to get out of bed.

"Bells?" Jacob groaned, rustling in the bed.

"Ssh, go back to sleep. I'm just going to get something to drink in the kitchen. I'll be back." I leaned over and kissed his forehead and slipped out of the room.

The living room was dark, save for the flickering light coming from the TV. I maneuvered through the living room and into the kitchen. Reaching for the handle of the fridge I opened it up. A gust of the cool, refrigerator air tickled my skin.

Just as I reached for a bottle of water I felt someone brush up against me. I could feel someone breathing down my neck.

"Bella…"

I knew that voice from anywhere.

His fingers tickled across my shoulders. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath. For someone who was trying to clear their mind in hopes to sleep, escaping to the kitchen was probably not the best idea.

"Edward." I spun around and he was standing there. His hands resting against the doors of the refrigerator.

He looked lost. His hair was all over the place, like he had been running his fingers through his hair for hours.

"La mia vita," he whispered. He reached his hand out to caress my cheek.

My eyes closed shut as I took in everything about Edward.

His smell.

His touch.

His smile.

His eyes.

I felt like it had been days- weeks- since I last saw him. When in reality it had only been a few hours. A few short hours since I went from on top of the world to having the walls crash down around me. I had no idea where I was going, what was going on.

"Edward, please…" I sighed, not knowing exactly what I was trying to say.

"What, Bella, what do you want?"

"I don't know, Edward, I don't know," I willingly admitted.

I buried my head in Edward's chest looking for some form of comfort I knew I could get with him.

"La mia vita, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I managed to mumble. "I- just- hold me."

He didn't say a word. I just felt his arms wrap around my body, his fingers softly brush through my hair. He started to hum a melody I'd heard somewhere before.

"Edward?" I asked lifting my head off of his chest.

"Yeah, Bella?"

"I should probably get back to bed."

I heard him let out a defeated sigh as he released his grip on me.

"Good night, Bella."

"Good night, Edward."

I looked up at him, he looked down on me. His eyes were looking for some sort of guidance. Some kind of answer. Frankly, I'm not sure I was the right person to be guiding him.

I felt his fingers graze my jawbone stopping short of my chin, ghosting over my lips. Then down to my chin, lifting it up just enough to bring my lips closer to his.

Was this really going to happen? Was he going to kiss me while my boyfriend was just a few feet away in the other room?

He leaned in closer to me. I could feel his breath against my skin, then he touched his soft lips to mine. Every nerve ending in my body went array. His tongue darted across my lips, his hands fisted through my hair. What started off as a simple good night kiss was starting to get a little heated.

I had to pull away.

I couldn't do this.

I took a second to catch my breath then looked up at him. His eyes were pitch black, full of hunger and lust. Standing up at my tiptoes, using the counter behind him as leverage, I leaned up to his ear.

"Il mio tutto," I whispered kissing the hallow behind his ear before turning away.

Il mio tutto, it might just be a fancy Italian way for saying my everything, but somehow deep down inside he had a deeper meaning to it.

As I walked away I could've sworn I heard him whisper "my everything".

I carefully snuck back into bed with Jacob only have him pull me tight into his body.

"I missed this," he whispered kissing the top of my head. "Sleeping with you. Holding you in my arms."

"I missed it too Jake, I missed it too," I sighed sinking deeper into his arms.

* * *

**Monday morning.**

The entire weekend I spent working and hanging out with Jacob, skirting around the much needed conversation. It was nice to have Jacob around, I'll admit I didn't really realize how much I missed him until he was here. Honestly I think I might've just been too wrapped up in everything Edward t even notice.

Edward.

For some reason he was MIA the entire weekend at he dorm. Leaving early in the morning, coming back late at night. Even if I did see him in the dorm he acted as if I wasn't there. He would walk in, smile and wave at whoever was in the living room and shut himself in the boy's room. I had a feeling his absurd behavior had something to do with Jacob being there.

"Bella, you ready?" Jacob asked poking his head into the room. "I thought I'd walk you to class today.

"Yeah," I responded grabbing my bag off my bed. "That would be nice."

Walking into the living room I felt like I was walking on death row.

Alice and Jasper were in the kitchen, eating breakfast. Rosalie and Emmett had their books strewn across the dining room table in attempt to finish some last minute homework, I'm sure.

Edward was sitting on the couch, his bag resting in his lap. His hand running through his hair furiously. He looked up at me when he heard the door of my room shut.

"Bella," he exclaimed getting up off the couch heading over towards me. "Let's get going, you're running late. We may not have enough time to get some coffee?"

I smiled.

"Don't worry Edward, I've got it this morning," Jacob slipped his arm around my waist. "Let's get you to class Bells, grab you a coffee or something."

"Bella," Edward said his voice hurt and distant. "But we always…"

"I've got this, Edward. I'd like to walk my _girlfriend_ to class if you don't mind," Jacob pulled his grip around me tighter, nearly knocking me into his body.

I looked back and forth between Jacob and Edward. They were staring each other down.

"Bella, come on you'll be late for class," Jacob started to pull me towards the door brushing right pass Edward.

When I passed him I heard him sigh and then he turned away.

The moment we left the dorm the questions started.

"Do you always walk to class with Edward, Bella?" Jacob asked finally letting go of my waist allowing me to actually walk on my own.

"I usually do. Our first morning classes are in the same building, so it works out. We usually stop and grab a coffee and the café I work at too."

"You spend a lot of time with Edward?

"Um," how am I supposed to answer this question? It as a loaded question, no matter how I answered it, the answer would be wrong. "Sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"Yeah," I sighed walking slightly ahead of Jacob.

"I don't like it." I heard Jacob say from behind me.

How dare he!

"Oh?"

Jacob had caught up with me, pulling my arm stopping me. He twirled me around so I was facing him.

"Yeah, oh. I don't like it, Bella. Not at all, not even a little. Can't you walk to class with Alice or something?"

"Alice's class starts thirty minutes after mine does and it's on the opposite side of the campus Jacob. Edward's class starts at the same time mine does, in the same building. It's convenient."

"I don't like this. From what I gathered from everyone that _lives_ in your dorm you spend a whole lot of time with Edward."

"Well I don't like you hanging out with Leah." The words flew out of my mouth before I my brain could process what I said.

I didn't want to do this right now, but the last statement I made was opened the can of worms. I could see the anger flaring up in Jacob again.

"That's different, Bella," he said letting go of my wrist, turning his body away from me. "Leah is my best friend's sister, it's natural I'm going to see her all the time. You and Edward, that's different. It's clear that the guy harbors some feelings towards you. You don't think I haven't noticed the looks he's been giving you every time I turn away. You don't think I've noticed the smart ass comments Emmett and Jasper have been making towards him when I lean in to kiss you."

"And what, you don't think Leah's feelings towards you are strictly platonic, Jacob?! For Christ's sake, she tried to kiss you last year when we had that bonfire down at First Beach. Tell me, tell me how that translates into platonic feelings, Jacob. She's using this opportunity to move in on you," I huffed. "I need to get to class. I don't have time to argue with you right now."

"No, we're going to talk about this now. We've put this off the entire weekend, you brought it up, we're talking about it now."

"In the middle of the walkway, Jake? Really? You're making a scene, everyone that passes by is looking at me like I'm a crazy lady. We can talk about this after I get out of class, before I work tonight."

"You're working tonight? You're always working. I never get to see you."

I took a deep breath.

"Jacob, I have to work. I have to pay for everything somehow. It's not my fault you showed up unexpectedly on my doorstep. I can't drop everything to spend time with you, and I'm sorry, but it's true. I'll see if I can get out earlier than usual, but there's no promise. Jacob," I took his hands into mine. "I wanna talk about this, we need to get over this. I don't want you leaving to go back home without talking about this. The moment I get out of class this afternoon we can sit down and talk about this, okay?"

"Whatever, Bella. What am I supposed to do in the mean time?"

"Hang out with Emmett. He doesn't have class until this afternoon, I'm sure he'd be more than happy to spend the day playing video games with you," I glanced down at my watch. "Jake, I've got to get to class. I love you, I'll talk to you later." I leaned up, kissed his cheek and ran. I ran as fast as my legs would take me.

I was a coward for walking away from the situation like that, but I needed to do it. As much as I wanted to talk about whatever was going on between us, the middle of a walkway was not the right place for it.

Besides, I really was running late for class.

"White Chocolate Mocha with an extra kick of everything, low fat moo juice," Edward crooned, as he leaned against the wall right across from my classroom, "With an added bonus of a coffee cake, warmed up just the way you liked it."

"Edward, you're a god send, thank you so much." I took the cup out of his hands and he stuffed the pastry into my bag.

"Bella, you looked flustered are you okay? Where's Jacob?"

"We got into a bit of a misunderstanding."

I couldn't help but notice the small smirk that crept up on his face at the mention of the "misunderstanding" between Jacob and I.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Bella, I really do," he smirked. "Is Jacob coming to walk you to your next class?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. I told him we'd talk this afternoon before I went to work because I didn't want to argue in public. Then he got upset because I've been working all weekend and I have to work tonight and that he's upset I didn't take some time off. Well Christ, if I would've known I would've taken time off. How am I supposed to do that if he just shows up at my doorstep without a phone call? I just can't not show up for work, I don't want to look like a flake. He should understand, I mean he knows how serious I get about things. God, he's so frustrating. I just wish he would get over himself and understand-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down turbo," Edward interrupted me placing his hand on my arm rubbing it up and down. "Listen, I'll swing by after my class gets out to see if he's around. If he's not, I'll walk you to your next class?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Take a deep breath, Bella, don't stress over it." He bent down, kissed my cheek and walked away.

Don't stress over it.

Easier said than done.

* * *

The entire day at school was Jacob free. He didn't show up in between my classes, he didn't show up during the hour I had lunch. He didn't even show up after my last class. Edward didn't even show up then.

"Hello, is anyone home?" I called out as I walked into the dorm.

The living room was empty and quite. Which was a bit odd. There was usually _always_ someone here at this time of day.

"In here Bella!" Jacob's voice called out from my bedroom.

I slowly walked towards the room unsure of what I would find.

"How was class?" Jacob asked sprawled out on my bed, my laptop resting on his lap.

"Fine. Where is everyone?" I dropped my bag by the door and joined him on the bed.

"Um, out. I kinda asked them if I could get some time to talk to you."

That would explain why Edward wasn't there to walk me back to the dorm after class.

"Oh."

"Listen, Bella, I'm really sorry I overreacted earlier. It's just sometimes I feel like you're pushing me away. It's like you have this whole other life down here, without me. I guess I'm just jealous," he admitted setting my laptop down on the floor.

"There's…" I took a deep breath. You could do this. "Nothing to be worried about, Jacob, but you're right. I have this whole other life here in California. It was bound to happen and you're not in it, because you're not here. I can't help the fact that things happened that way."

"But still, Bella..."

"No, no but still. This thing I have going on for me in California is great, Jacob. I'm having a great time and yes, I miss being home. I miss hanging out with you and the guys. I miss my dad, I miss going down to First Beach and watching the green and blue flames flicker from the driftwood bonfires we had. I miss you Jacob, God only knows how much I miss you, but it's a sacrifice I have to make to do this. I needed to get away from small town life. I needed to get away and not be a short drive home."

"But you don't need to replace me! It's like you're forgetting me, Bella."

"Who said I was replacing you? Where are you getting this stuff from Jake? I'm not replacing you, I could never replace what you and I have. We're Jacob and Bella, we're…forever," I gulped just thinking about the future.

Were we really forever still?

"You mean that, Bella?"

"I do, but where are you getting these ideas in your head?"

"Leah," he mumbled.

"Who?" I needed to hear it again.

"Leah." He hung his head down.

"And you fucking getting mad at me because I have coffee in the morning with Edward! I told you Leah has feelings for you, Jake. She'll say anything and everything to get you to break up with me so she can have you all to her fucking self. Just you wait, the next time I see her, I'm gonna, I'm gonna…"

"Bella, calm down. There's no need to resort to violence," Jacob chuckled.

"Why did she even say that? Did she just come up to you and say 'Hey Jacob, I think Bella is forgetting you,'?"

"Well…"

"Well, what?"

"I kind of talk to her about it, she asked how you were doing and it kind of all came pouring out. I didn't mean to, honest. It just happened. We've been spending a lot of time together recently. I'm not going to lie to you about that, Bella," he looked across at me, "It's good to have someone to talk to that's not one of the guys. You're not there to talk to and I miss having the girlie input."

Missed having the girlie input?

Did I die or something? Maybe I fell of the face of the earth.

"And I'm not a phone call away?"

"It's different, Bella. It's not the same calling you, it's so impersonal. So I have Leah to talk to now."

Two can play this game, Jacob Black.

"Well, I miss having that male presence in my life. So I have Edward. He's been keeping me sane in the midst of the love fest going on in my dorm," I retorted with a smirk on my face.

"That's hardly the same, Bella. We've known Leah forever."

"Yes and she still has feelings for you. Whether or not Edward has feelings for me is irrelevant to the point. Leah is there for you to talk to, Edward is here for me to talk to."

"But Leah doesn't walk you to class every morning or buy you coffee."

"But if she could, if she had the chance to, she would."

"Yeah, well-"

Jacob was interrupted by the sounds of his cell phone ringing. Fumbling through his pocket he finally found it and when I glanced over at the caller I.D. screen I wasn't surprised.

"Speak of the devil," I pouted crossing my arms against my chest.

"Give me one second, Bella," Jacob said flipping the phone open.

I sighed rolling my eyes. "Whatever."

"Lee-lee, hey, what's up?"

Lee-lee.

What the hell? Since when did Leah become Lee-lee? Wasn't that the name Sam called her when they were dating?

"No, I'm still here." "I don't know how much longer I'll be here. Maybe another day or so." "Yeah, well I'm sorry about that." "I promise I'll call you when I found out." "Okay, I'll talk to you later." "Bye."

He shut the phone closed and walked back over to the bed.

"Sorry about that. She wanted to know when I was coming home," Jacob apologized.

"Lee-lee?"

"Yeah," he said taking his spot on the bed next to me. "Where were we?"

"It's not important where we were. Why are you calling her Lee-lee? When the hell did she go from being Leah Clearwater to fucking Lee-lee?!"

"Bella, it's not even like that. why are you getting mad? She's just a friend." He reached over to touch me and I flinched away.

"No, you don't get to pull that card Jacob Black. If you're going to give me a whole load of crap for being friends with Edward, you do not get to tell me Leah fucking Clearwater is _just_ a friend," I stood up from the bed, "I get the fact that she's just a friend and you can talk to her, but have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, Edward is my friend and I can talk to him about anything? Did you? Did you ever think that about that before you started making accusations Jacob?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he slid across the bed to the side I was standing next to and got off, "I never accused you or Edward of being anything more than friends. I just don't like the fact that you're spending so much time with someone who clearly has feelings for you."

"Yeah, well you and your nasty glares, your defensive controlling tone you get when the three of us are in the same room. You're metaphorically whizzing on me, Jacob. So while you may never have said anything about Edward and I being anything more than friends, the vibes you're sending off are saying differently."

I couldn't fight it anymore. The tears I'd been holding back all day finally fell.

"If you'll drop the fact that I'm spending time with Leah, I'll drop the fact that you're spending time with Edward. Deal?"

What the hell was this, deal or no deal? I didn't know there were rules about who I was allowed to befriend.

"Whatever, Jacob, just whatever," I spat walking away from him. I needed to walk away before I said something stupid.

Before I could even make it out of the room I felt Jacob's hand grip my wrist, spinning me around so I was facing him.

"Jacob what the he-"

His lips interrupted me.

Not a second spared and I was pushed up against the wall of my bedroom, my legs wrapped tightly around Jacob's waist. Our mouths were frantically moving with each others, our tongues swirling around. The taste of him and the salt from my tears was all I could taste. His hands were tangled in my hair, my hands gripping around his shoulders for support.

Our kisses were never like this.

These were angry, bitter, I hate you kisses.

Jacob never acted like this with me, ever.

I'm not sure that I liked it.

"Jacob stop." Using my hands I pushed his face away from mine. He growled turning his attention from my face to my neck.

"Jacob, stop this." he didn't stop. His lips continued to trail down my neck to my collarbone. One of this hands managed to find their way down to the hem of my shirt tugging it up exposing the skin of my stomach. "Jake, stop."

He didn't stop. His fingers traveling up my skin, slipping under the wire of my bra. I felt his massive hand cup my breast kneading it. His hips grinded against mine and I could feel his erection straining in his jeans. He took my nipple in between his fingers giving it a nice, firm twist and I moaned in pleasure.

God I missed this.

God I missed him.

But, no, this couldn't happen like this. I wouldn't let it. I'm not about to let sex solve our problems, are issues.

I swatted his hand away and gave his body one final push.

"Jacob, no, not like this." his furious attempt at exploring my body stopped.

I let my grip on his waist go, Jacob's arms guided me down the wall.

"Bella, I'm sorry." His head dropped like he was ashamed of himself.

"Jacob, look at me."

"I'm sorry, Bella," he admitted bringing his head up looking at me.

"There is nothing to be sorry about, but I will not let you do this like that."

"I'm sorry, I really am, Bella. But I feel like I'm losing you, with every day that passes by it gets worse."

"Jacob, you're not losing me, I'm still here. I'll always be here, you know that. what can I do to make you see that?"

"Come home with me."

"Jacob."

"It was worth a shot."

"Yeah well, it was a cheap shot. I love you, Jacob Black, I do. I just wish you'd see that."

"I do see that and I love you too, so much. I'm sorry about the Leah thing. I should've told you I was talking to her about things. I shouldn't have kept it from you." His hand brushed up, wiping the last bit of tears on my cheeks.

"And I shouldn't have kept the fact that I was living with three guys, let alone Edward, from you. I was just afraid of what you would say, how you would react."

"Forgive me Bella?"

"Forgiven. Forgive me?"

"Forgiven, I love you."

"I love you too."

Jacob's arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his chest.

Even though we've managed to make up and forgive each other for this current misunderstanding, I knew this wasn't going to be the end of it. I knew this was not going to be the last I heard about Leah, nor would it be the last time he'd hear about Edward.

But for now it would work. I could go to sleep at night and wake up knowing that, for the time being, everything was going to be okay.

* * *

**Before we get into serious matters let me get all the witty-ness out of my system. First off, check out my new collab with Miztrezboo "Down By the Swimming Hole". It's an Alice/Jasper fic and it's got Southern Jasper. I think that should be enough to send you running. :D Secondly, a shout out to my fellow peen queens! :D I heart you all…hard! Viva Los Foundation within a Foundation! **

**Oh and I think you should ALL go and acquire Sam Bradley's version of Never Think, because it is amazing. But don't get upset because Sam isn't trying to steal the song...he wrote it with our dear Robbie, if you didn't know. :D**

**Now to serious, more pressing matters.**

**Katie?**

_Hi everyone. A very sad event has occurred in the Twilight fanfiction world...DLC (Daddy's Little Cannibal) was killed in a drunk driving accident. So we'd like to dedicate this chapter in memoriam. She was an amazing writer, and I had to relive her wittiness and skill, so I reread "Sex Education with Emmett" and "Stupid Pixie Shaped Vampire" just to remind myself of her genius. They made me smile and realize, that she will live on forever through her words, and she is extremely legendary. The fanfiction world has suffered a tremendous loss, and I encourage all of you to read her stories, they'll make you smile, and so much more. So I encourage you to say a prayer, mantra, whatever it is you believe in...for her family, friends and her soul, there were a few people who were close to her on fanfiction, and she loved her writing. (and it showed) Although I did not know her personally, through writing, you learn about the author, and well, yes, that's how I "got to know" her. For some reason, I feel as if all you Twilight fanfiction writers are immortal, it's not that I feel like you all don't exist, it was just a wakeup call. It reminds me that you all are people, and that you all do exist. I think this sorta brings us closer together, and makes us all the more better as a whole. I've seen the outpouring of support, and I figure this is our way of doing our part.  
Rest In Peace, Stephanie._

**Reviews are like…well, just leave us some love. We could use the pick me up.**


	11. Magic

**Disclaimer: We don't own it, never have, never *sigh* will. Damn. We also, don't own any lyrical genius used. Thank you.**

**Authors' Note: Howdy, katiemcullen heree! That was extremely obnoxious...so two days late. I failed. I'm sorry! Losing mojo happens, life happens, okay? Calm yourselves. Better late than never :P Hope all is well with all our readers and that you all in the U.S. anyway have a good long weekend! Flock to your Memorial Day parties! :)**

* * *

"You've got magic inside your finger tips  
Its leaking out all over my skin  
Everytime that I get close to you  
Your making me weak with the way you  
Look through those eyes

But all I see is your face  
All I need is your touch  
Wake me up with your lips  
Come at me from up above  
Yeah, oh I need you"

-_"Magic"_ Colbie Caillat

* * *

**Bella P.O.V.**

Jacob was leaving today, and quite frankly, I don't know how much more of this I can take. From the tension of the first meeting, to the various times that Edward, or any other person in the house, had caught us kissing. The tension was palpable, like a thick blanket strangling me. A few times I just had to have some Bella alone time, and go for a quick walk, even if it was just to the bathroom and opening the window. Sometimes discussions would get out of hand...

_We were all gathered around a table and were playing The Game of Life. It wasn't going so well. So far my house has been hit by a tornado, I live by the factories in a trailer, landed on every single have a baby or adopt twins spot. We were divided into teams. Jasper and Alice, Rosalie and Emmett versus Jacob and I. Edward went off somewhere. I understood his position, but I didn't understand why he didn't want to stay with us._

_"Another carfull of kids!?" I cried. We now had two cars full of our children. It was pretty comical._

_Alice and Jasper spun the wheel, and they ended up paying for a speeding ticket to the cops, a.k.a. Emmett and Rosalie._

_"Why haven't we landed on a single spot for a child Emmett? Why?" Rosalie huffed._

_"Babe, c'mon it's just a game," Emmett said nonchalantly._

_Rosalie rolled her eyes and slumped back in her chair._

_The game was beginning to wind down. Alice and Jasper had three children, we had seven or eight, I honestly lost count. Rosalie and Emmett had zero, and Rosalie wasn't happy about that._

_"Jasper, we have two little girls and a boy! How cute!" Alice squealed._

_"How cute!" Rosalie mocked._

_Emmett spun again and placed his car with two pegs--him and Rosalie --on a tile that made Rosalie gasp._

_"How are we grandparents?! We never had children!" she cried._

_Jacob laughed at Rosalie's outburst. "That's messed up! Hey Bella, if this is really telling our futures, we'd have eight kids, Alice and Jasper would have three, and Rosalie and Emmett wouldn't have any!"_

_I put my head in my hands and waited for the arguing to begin._

_"Emmett, you don't think...no!" Rosalie gasped, her voice obviously cracking._

_"I said before, it's just a game, don't listen to Jacob," Emmett said lowly._

_"Excuse me? Don't listen to Jacob?" Jacob growled._

_I had to look now, I opened my eyes, Emmett and Jacob were both face to face, their fists down on the table top, their eyes burning, and waiting for a fight._

_  
Over the fucking game of Life._

_"What you were 'just saying', really upset my girlfriend, man," Emmett boomed._

_I glanced over at Jasper who was rubbing his temples, ready to walk away from this almost board-game brawl._

_"I'm sorry," Jacob apologized._

_"Don't tell me you're sorry. Apologize to Rosalie," he ordered._

_Jasper got up and walked away, probably going to drown himself in guitar chords and I honestly couldn't blame him._

_If Jacob was fuming, then Emmett was a raging forest fire. His face was red, his eyes ready to kill._

_"Are you going to apologize or are you going to be a coward?" Emmett boomed. "I mean, I called you out on your bullshit, the least you could do is apologize!"_

_Emmett's fists pounded on the table and the gamepieces shimmied across the board, completely ruining any chances for us to resume our game._

_He was furious._

_I don't think Jacob realized the severity of Emmett's rage. He'd do anything for Rosalie, and I've noticed that, I just don't think Jacob has. Jacob has not really been Rosalie's biggest fan, and he's told me that, but he could at least apologize._

_Rosalie walked out of the dorm, the door slamming behind her. Alice looked at me, she didn't want to leave. I wasn't about to leave. Emmett and Jacob were both not about to back down._

_"Let's play a little devil's advocate, shall we? Now, let's say, your game turned out differently...Bella and you were stuck with zero children by the end of the game and I decided that the game was telling our futures. I don't think you would appreciate me insinuating that your fecundity is down the toilet!"_

_Jacob's face pained, and I'm sure he had a moment where he realized what he had done._

_"But I was just saying..." Jacob added. "I don't see a reason to apoligize."_

_I wanted to grip his neck with all my might and strangle the life out of him._

_Emmet tossed the game board at him, the pieces flying everywhere. I stood back, thoroughly horrified. The board landed in the kitchen somewhere, over by the sink._

_"You were 'just saying', huh? Somehow, I don't think it processed that you hurt Rosie's feelings through some brainless remark! Now I have to go comfort my girlfriend, thanks to you!" Emmett yelled._

_I understood where Jacob was coming from, and where Emmett was coming from. I was caught in yet another tug-of-war, or tug-of-Bella._

_"Emmett, you're right," I whimpered._

_Emmett smirked._

_"What?" Jacob questioned._

_"I said he's right," I announced. "Emmett is right, Jacob you screwed up big time. If someone told me that I couldn't have children, I would be so upset. I'm sure it's the same thing with Rosalie too."_

_"Well, someone has a brain!" Emmett decided._

_"Yeah, I mean, how could someone not want little replicas running around?" Alice giggled._

_Jacob looked pale. He was wrong, caught, and now he knew it. But Jacob wasn't ever the one to admit his faults, even if they were posted up on a billboard._

_"I'm going to chase after Rosalie," Emmett sighed. "And you're coming to apologize,"_

_Jacob nodded. "Can we have a second alone please?"_

_Oh. Right. I didn't support my boyfriend in an argument. So now he wanted to chat. Fabulous._

_Emmett and Alice went to their respective rooms._

_"You didn't even support me! You just fed me to the vampires or something!" Jacob cried._

_"Well, I wasn't the one who opened my mouth," I hissed bitterly._

_"I was making a joke."_

_"It doesn't matter. You knew Rose was upset about the game, and you just made it worse. Now Emmett hates your guts. Way to go," I said._

_"But..."_

_"You got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out," I insisted._

_"You're not going to come with me?" he asked._

_"Your a big boy, right, Jacob? Or are you just nothing but a coward?" I accused._

_He huffed as he walked away from me._

_"Don't you dare walk away from me, Jacob Black!" I screamed._

_He banged on the door of the boys' room. "Let's go, Emmett," he said lowly._

_Emmett flung the door open and the two were out the door in a flash._

_I hope Jacob realizes that he needs to think before he opens his mouth._

_Alice quietly tiptoed out of our room and began picking up the pieces from the game._

_"When's Jacob going home?" she asked quietly._

_I knew what she was getting at. We had established a comfortable living arrangement finally, and we were all getting along great. Jacob came along and threw it all out of whack. I was scared to death that I would be treated differently because of it._

_I crouched down beside her, searching for the tiny blue and pink pegs, along with the various white pieces._

_"Not soon enough," I said lowly._

"Alright, Bells, I think I've overstayed my welcome," Jacob sighed.

Damn straight.

I hated to see him go, but at the same time, I felt like I was watching the death of Edward. If Edward didn't die from this, Jacob would kill him or vice versa.

The best part is that I am stuck in the middle, I can't get out. I don't know who to defend, who to support, my boyfriend, or my best friend. I felt like Jacob could hold his own, as could Edward, but I still have the responsibility of it all on my shoulders. It was my fault that I came here, _my_ fault that Edward and Jacob had met in the most awful and awkward of ways. It was _my _fault; and no one else's.

I smiled quietly. "No you didn't, Jake. I missed you, you missed me...It was necessary," I lied.

I should've rephrased that. Oh well, one detail wasn't going to ruin it all. Whatever we fixed, it was temporary. I was beginning to think that the days of our relationship were numbered.

"So...we're okay now?" Jacob asked, his warm hand caressing my cheek.

I nodded. "Yeah, Jacob. We're okay now." I lied.

Damn, for me, Bella Swan who sucked at lying...I was doing pretty well today.

I forced my gaze to wander down to my hands that were twisted at my waist. My hands that were twisted like the web of lies I had started to weave the day I left La Push.

Maybe we were just at our end. Maybe Edward was the straw that broke the camel's back. I wasn't going to end our relationship, Jacob and mine's, not now. It really wasn't worth it. He'd blame Edward, Edward would be prancing around all high and mighty, and it just wouldn't end well. Maybe Jacob could see through my lies, and he just wasn't saying anything. Jacob could also have been clueless to my lying. Whatever it was, I'm just glad we don't have to deal with the whole "you're lying" speech today.

I've certainly established one thing. Jacob's feelings for me are somewhat unrequited. They weren't before, but things change, people change, _feelings_ change. I changed, and I just recently figured that out.

We were standing outside his car, sitting on the hood.

I felt as his eyes were shooting into mine. I wasn't even looking at him; I couldn't.

"Alright, Bells. I better get going,"

Thank God...

"It was a really great surprise, Jacob," I said with as much sincerity as I could.

"Goodbye, Bella, I love you," he whispered in my ear, causing a shiver to buzz down my spine.

Jacob lightly kissed my ear.

"I love you too," I murmured.

I watched as he slowly got up off the car, I followed him to the driver's side where he opened his door and got in. Immediately, he rolled down the window.

I gingerly placed my fingers inside the car. He placed his hand over mine, and I smiled. He looked up at me. I slowly ducked my head into the car and swiftly descended my lips up on his.

"Goodbye, Jacob." I said.

I had a feeling I was saying that in more ways than one.

I somberly watched as his car pulled away, and he gave his horn one final beep. I blew a kiss to him and he gave a shy wave.

I thought that maybe I wasn't the only one who's changed, maybe he has changed too. Whatever it was, it was meant to be, and we both needed to accept that. We were definitely changing as people, our values and thoughts were changing. Between Leah, and him seeming so distant I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take.

I could only think of one person to run to...

Not Charlie. Hell no, not Charlie.

Definitely not Alice, Edward already told me she had an idea something was going on between us.

Not Rosalie, or Emmett, that would be like selling my soul to the devil.

I guess I could talk to Jasper, but that's not who I wanted, who I really _needed_.

I needed Edward.

I ran out of the parking lot and down to our place, our little coffee shop. He came there to study or sometimes just to think. I quickly meandered through the crowds. I saw him, sitting there reading a medical journal. He ran his fingers through his hair, and mindlessly pursed his lips as he took notes on the information. He grabbed a highlighter and drew a bracket around a paragraph and wrote something down. He was sitting in front of the window, and it wasn't difficult to spot him at all.

I lightly knocked on the window. His head lifted, and his lips turned up in that gorgeous smile that I loved so much.

I rushed to the door and flung it open, causing the bells on the door to sing a little song. I sprinted to Edward, pulled out the chair and plopped down on the seat.

He placed his book down and closed it, obviously giving me his full attention.

"Tell me all about it."

"I...I can't do this anymore, Edward. I can't...I just..."

Edward's body was at my side, crouched down, looking straight into my eyes.

"Can we get another...place? Not that there's anything wrong with being here, it's just people are staring," I suggested.

I looked around the room and there were countless pairs of eyes staring back at me.

"Wait...he's not looking. Never mind, he just looked," Edward chuckled.

Edward gathered his study materials and we walked out of the coffee shop.

We found a little park, with a bench underneath a tree. We had a silent commute from the coffee shop to the park bench, and it didn't bother me one bit. I wanted to tell him face to face, my ideas, my thoughts.

He sat down beside me, and softly took my hand in his.

"_La mia vita_, tell me..."

"I'm confused, Edward, inexplicably so," I began. "I guess I just don't know what I want..."

"Let me help with that," he said confidently.

His lips met mine fiercely, passionately. A fire ignited in my toes and began burning up my body. I wrapped my arm around his neck, pulling our bodies closer together. His tongue entered my mouth, and my mind couldn't help but wander to Jacob. His lips were the last that kissed mine.

My mind was back and forth between right and wrong.

Edward's lips parted and breathed into mine, filling me with his scent.

I had been tugged around enough. It's time for me to unconfuse myself.

My lips stopped reacting against Edward's. I froze, like a deer in the headlights.

"I'm sorry," I said, as my voice cracked.

He swiftly backed away from me, and softly caressed my cheek.

"_La mia vita_, don't be sorry. If it's too much, we can stop..." he began, a pained expression settling on his face.

"That's just it, Edward, I don't want you to stop, not ever."

He smiled, probably one of the brightest and truest smiles ever.

"Now, let's hear about Jacob..." he said angrily. "He doesn't hurt you, does he?"

"God, no, Edward! It's just...we're not what we used to be and there's nothing I can do about it," I said brokenly. "He's all I've ever known, so this change is hard on both of us,"

"I'm here for you, Bella, you know that. If we need to stop-" Edward blew out a breath. "-we can. There's no use being whatever it is that we are, if you don't want to be..."

"I want us to just _be_," I whispered.

He smiled and intertwined his fingers with mine. He slowly brought our hands up and lightly touched his lips to my hand.

I felt an electric shock shoot up my arm. I smiled giddily.

I was feeling small, weak and confused. Edward had a way of making my life simpler, but when we were apart, his magic wore off.

* * *

**SO...there you all have it. yay! would you be so kind as to review? You know, we're just a bunch of feedback lovers. we love hearing what you have to say. :)**


	12. The Middle

**Disclaimer: As usual, we don't own it, not even a little…damn.**

**Authors' Note: Bemylullaby here! It's my week, I'm posting it for once…weird I know. :D Not going to say too much in the beginning…just gonna let you crazy kids get to is. Check below for some IMPORTANT information. Oh and Katie says it's her fault this is going out so late…her bad…she's the one that took FOREVER to edit. But we love her for it anyways right?**

**Let's skip ahead some time shall we?

* * *

**

"I wanna crash, I wanna fall  
I wanna be somewhere in the middle.  
Somewhere in the middle.  
Something, it's better than nothing.  
I just need a little  
I just need a little cause  
I Don't wanna be nowhere  
But something's makin' me go there  
Somewhere in the middle with you."  
- _The Middle_ by Demi Lovato

* * *

**  
Bella's POV:**

Soon after Jacob's impromptu visit it seemed to be things were falling back into place.

I started making more of an effort to spend more than a few minutes on the phone with Jacob in the morning and in the evening. I made more of an effort to call or text him more during the day as well.

Where Edward was concerned, we still spent just as much time together, if not more. The idea, the plan of just "being" was going...just going. I tried to not to put myself in positions where I would be vulnerable and I succeeded...most of the time. There were still times where I found myself lost in his green eyes, lost in the way his tongue would dart across his lips before he would place a simple, yet meaningful kiss on my lips.

A few months had passed and I felt like I was doing well juggling Edward and Jacob. Even though I wasn't sure why I felt like I had to, but I did. Edward was filling that void of my best friend that Jacob used to fill. Jacob was still my boyfriend and I loved him more than anything.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Alice chimed dancing into the kitchen.

I looked up from the books I had sprawled out across the table. It was study time for Bella and Edward, something that recently became a staple in our lives. Edward ignored his sister's presence in the room and continued his furious scribbling.

"Yes, Alice?" I answered putting my pen down and shutting my book.

"What are your plans for Thanksgiving?"

"Um, I know my dad originally wanted me to fly up there, but it would be a waste of time, him and Billy always go fishing the day after Thanksgiving. Plus, I'm not sure I can get the time off for the entire weekend on such short notice," I said recalling the conversation I had with my dad last night.

_"Bells, you gonna come home for Thanksgiving?" My dad said into the receiver._

_I was putting off the issue, of Thanksgiving for a couple of weeks now. Charlie had been dropping hints here and there every single time I talked to him._

_"Um, I'm not sure dad. I really don't have the money for a plane ticket and I don't wanna spend a day driving up there."_

_"I have some money saved up, I was gonna surprise you and get you a ticket to come up for winter break, but I want you to come home for Thanksgiving."_

_"Dad..." How could I do this without letting him down. "I'd rather come up for Christmas. Besides you and Billy always go fishing that weekend. You won't even be home for me to spend time with. And before you even offer, no I don't wanna join the two of you."_

_"But Bells it's been forever since you've been home. The gang misses you, Jacob misses you-"_

_"Dad I just saw Jacob a few weeks ago remember? He was here for a few days," I groaned. How could I forget Jacob's visit?_

_"Yes and it's unfair he got to see you and I didn't," he huffed. "I miss having you around, Bells."_

_"Dad, I miss you too. But you don't have to lie, I know you really miss my cooking."_

_"Well that too, but Bells, think about it, please."_

_"Dad, I can't. I don't think I can get the time off from work on such short notice. Why don't I just come up for Christmas? I'll stay all the way past New Years. Leave right before I have to get back to school. I was only planning on staying until right before New Years, but I'll stay longer. Just for you dad."_

_"Will you make me your Grandma Swan's cornbread for Christmas dinner?"_

_"I'll even splurge and make Grandma Swan's chocolate fudge I know you love so much, dad."_

_"Deal! Let me know when you can fly out and I'll book your tickets." I could hear the excitement and happiness in his voice._

_"Alright, dad."_

"So you're not going home?" Alice asked taking the seat next to me.

"No...I guess I'm not."

"Great," Alice smirked. "Get Thanksgiving off."

"Why?"

"Well, I happen to know you are an amazing cook."

"Oh, and how are you privy to this information?"

"Jacob might've mentioned it while he was down here. Something about stuffing and corn bread..."

"Yes, my Grandma Swan's recipes."

"Well, my parents are coming down for the weekend-"

"Mom and Dad are coming?!" Edward perked up, interrupting Alice.

"Yes, Eddie. If you would pick up your phone or call Mom once and awhile you would know."

"When are they coming? How long are they gonna be here?" Edward asked intently.

"They're coming the day before Thanksgiving and staying until Monday," Alice said before turning to me. "I was hoping you would help me cook dinner for Thanksgiving for everyone."

"Um..." I stuttered.

"Well, Rose is hopeless in the kitchen. Bella you know your way around the kitchen, I could really use your help."

"I don't know if I can get the whole day off..."

"Please Bella for me. My mom is dying to meet you."

Wait what?

"Your mom?" I gulped.

"Alice..." Edward groaned.

"What? Mom has heard so much about you, Bella, she can't wait to meet you."

"What has she heard?" I gulped suddenly I was a little scared of what the Cullens had said about me.

"Oh, nothing bad Bella," Alice brushed off. "But please, ask for the day off. I could use your help. It would be fun."

"Well..."

"Bella, please. Don't make me get Emmett in here begging. Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday, the food, he loves cornbread, Bella. You don't wanna disappoint Emmett."

"Who's disappointing me?" Emmett asked as he rounded the corner heading out the door.

"Oh, I'm trying to get Bella to help me and mom with Thanksgiving dinner. She has the recipe for her Grandma Swan's cornbre-"

"Bella you can make cornbread?!" Emmett exclaimed his eyes wide with excitement.

"Yes," I admitted. "I've been known to make a pretty fierce cornbread."

"Bella you have to! Please! You've made dinner and you're an amazing cook. Please Bella, please," Emmett begged.

"I just..."

"Bella there's no use in denying them. They'll just keep bugging you," Edward pipped up, shaking his head with a smile.

"Fine."

"Yes! Bella you are my hero. I've got to get to class, but you are my hero." Emmett smiled.

"Thanks, Bella, I'll let my mom know," Alice said getting up out of the chair, walking away.

I was starting to regret the decision I just made.

* * *

**Thanksgiving Morning.**

_Ding, dong._

"Bella can you grab that?" Alice yelled from the bathroom.

Everyone was gone and it as a little weird having the dorm quiet. The boys were at some restaurant watching the game with Mr. Cullen, keeping out of our way. Rosalie was out with one of the girls she had class with and they had gone shopping. Leaving Alice and I to cook dinner.

I walked over to the door and opened it.

"Hi, you must be Bella," the woman on the opposite side of the door said.

Esme Cullen. Alice was definitely her daughter. Esme Cullen was exactly what I thought she would be.

She had that motherly air about her. She seemed like the type of woman that no matter what she worn, she would always look good in it. She carried herself like a true Cullen.

"Mrs. Cullen." I gestured for her to come in with a smile. I shut the door when she walked in.

"Please, call me Esme. Mrs. Cullen is my mother in law," she said with a smile before enveloping me in a hug.

"Okay," my voice trembled as I returned the hug.

"Well," she pulled away from our embrace and studied my face. "It's good to finally put the name to a face."

"I hope your children haven't said anything bad about me."

"Oh nothing bad, honey, all good." Esme offered me a smile. She looked around the dorm. "Speaking of children where are they?"

"Well-"

"Mommy!" Alice cried running out of the bathroom straight for Esme.

"Alice, honey, look at you." Esme twirled Alice around. "You are far too skinny. You move away from home and look at you."

"Mom..."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop. So, let's get started."

* * *

Alice had run to the store leaving Esme alone with me.

So far the conversation was light and general but I couldn't shake the feeling that Esme was waiting for the right moment to say something.

"So Bella, the kids tell me you're from La Push."

"Yeah, I grew up in Forks until I was seven, when my dad finally decided he needed to get out of the house he and my mom shared. That's when my dad moved down to the rez, his best friend lives down there."

"That's right your dad is Chief Swan."

"He is."

"How do you like living in La Push, Bella?"

"I like it. The coast is beautiful."

"Its just amazing that the kids never bumped into you before they came down."

"Yeah well you know, Jake and I hardly came into Forks. I went to school down at the rez, so..."

"Hmmm, that's a shame. And Jake is your...?" Esme asked curiously.

"Jacob is my best friend, my boyfriend."

"Oh...well..." Esme said with that tone of voice that Edward got when he didn't know what to say.

I think I was going to have a little chat with my roommates and find exactly _what _they've been telling their mother.

"Jake and I have known each other for years, since diapers. Our dads are best friends so naturally we were constantly thrown together. At first, our relationship was strictly platonic, but then one day, like overnight--everything changed. He's all I've ever known. We've been through so much together," I admitted.

I realized it had been awhile since I've talked about Jacob that way. Since his visit Jacob Black had been a sore subject around the dorm, and no longer with just Edward.

"Oh honey, that's so romantic. Like a movie," Esme smiled. "I'm glad you've found someone that you love, that makes you happy."

"Yeah," I sighed.

"That's how it was with Carlisle," Esme said with a smile. "We met in college and really, it was love at first sight. We had physics together, we were lab partners. He spent the entire semester trying to impress me. Frankly, if he would've just been honest with me in the first place, he would've saved himself a whole lot of trouble."

"That's romantic, Esme."

"Classic love story. You should ask Alice about her and Jasper's first kiss one time."

* * *

**Edward's POV:**

"God dammit, what the hell was that?!" Emmett yelled at the TV in the sports bar we were sitting in.

At the moment Emmett and Jasper were glued to the college game playing on the TV while I sat back at the table eating buffalo wings with my father.

"So how are your classes going Edward?" he asked.

"Good, the anatomy and physiology class I'm taking is kicking my ass."

"Ah yes," he placed his hand on my shoulder. "The joys of anatomy. Wait until you start taking your undergraduate courses."

"Oh, I'm looking forward to it," I scoffed rolling my eyes.

"So, Edward," my dad took a sip of his beer. "Tell me about this Bella your mother keeps talking about."

I nearly choked on the buffalo wing I was eating.

What had my mother said to him? What did she know?

I hadn't told her too much, but it was definitely not enough to tell my dad about.

"What about Bella? She lives with us. She's a nice girl."

"Just nice, Edward? Your mother says you have a thing for her."

A "thing"? This had Alice written all over it.

"Well..." I started to explain.

"Edward don't beat around the bush. I know there's something different about you, and I have a feeling it has something to do with Bella."

"Things with Bella are just a bit complicated," I admitted.

Complicated didn't even begin to explain it.

"Complicated? How so? You like her don't you? Or am I just jumping to conclusions?"

"No, no conclusions. Bella is amazing. She funny, she's smart. She makes me smile. Not to mention she's beautiful, naturally beautiful. The kinda beauty women spend hours trying to achieve." I could feel a smile creeping up on my face. I couldn't help it. Whenever I talked about Bella, thought about Bella I got that goofy smile on my face Jasper and Emmett always got when they talked about Alice and Rosalie.

"Bella is my best friend. We spend all this time together. It's crazy to even think that two people could get as close as we are in such a short period of time," I added looking at my father for some sort of indication of what he was thinking.

"She sounds amazing son. But what seems to be the problem?"

I sighed. "She has a boyfriend back home."

My words stung at my heart. The admission of the "complication" was always something I had trouble stomaching.

Before, Jacob Black was almost like a figment of my imagination. Bella talked about him, but it was like my mind refused to believe it was real. Then he was there, in the flesh. The competition.

"A boyfriend? Edward, what are you doing?" My dad asked, sounding a little disappointed.

"I don't know, Dad. I don't know." I buried my head in my hands.

"Well I hope she's worth it."

"Oh, trust me, she is."

* * *

"Something smells good like..." Emmett boomed as he unlocked the door, walking in. His eyes lit up when he realized what it was.

"Cornbread. Iz! Iz, where are you?"

"Emmett, don't you dare touch that bread!" my mother yelled from the dining room table.

She was sitting there with Alice, Rosalie and Bella. They were laughing and having a good time.

"Mom!" Emmett ran over to table practically tearing our mother out of her chair and pulling her into a hug.

"It's lovely to see you too, Em," she choked out.

I shook my head and walked over to Bella whose eyes had been locked on me since I walked in.

"_La mia vita_," I leaned in whispering in her ear.

"Yeah?" she looked up at me her big brown eyes staring deep into mine, a tiny smile playing on her face.

"Come on, and meet my father." I pulled her out of her chair, dragging her towards the door where my dad was standing.

"Well, well, well Bella it's lovely to finally meet you," My dad said holding his hand out for Bella to shake.

"Likewise, Dr. Cullen." Bella reached out and shook his hand.

"Carlisle, dear, this is the Chief's daughter," My mom said walking up behind us.

"The chief's daughter?" he looked over at me giving me a 'what are you doing son?' look and smiled. "As in Chief Swan's daughter?"

"Yes, sir, Charlie Swan is my father," Bella admitted proudly.

"Well ain't this a small world?"

* * *

Dinner was over and to say it went smoothly wouldn't be enough.

Emmett insisted on gracing us with the German he learned this semester. While Alice decided that she wanted to tell Bella falls down stories.

Now, Emmett and Jasper were on the kitchen with Rosalie and Alice cleaning up. Bella was sitting in the living room talking on her phone to her dad.

"Edward?"

I turned around to see my mom standing there.

"Hey, mom." I wrapped my arms around her petite frame.

"She's a great girl, Edward." She motioned over to Bella.

"She is," I admitted. "She's amazing."

"Edward be careful, please. Don't do anything stupid."

"What are you talking about?"

"Son, I know you. You get that goofy retarded smile on your face when she's around. I watched you all throughout dinner. You were constantly leaning over, whispering things in her ear. You'll walk past her and your hand will reach out and touch her. I like Bella, I do, but Edward you need to be careful. She has a boyfriend, don't do something stupid."

"Mom, I would never do anything like that you know me. As long as Bella is happy I'll be happy. I'll do whatever it takes to make her happy."

"And as noble as that is, you can't spend your entire life swooning over someone who belongs to another person."

"I know mom, I know."

God, did I know...

"Alright Dad, well I've got to get going." Bella stood up from her chair and started walking towards me. "I'll tell them you said hello." "Alright, Dad take care. Send Jake and Billy my love."

Bella hung up her phone and sighed.

"I love my Dad but sometimes he just doesn't know when to stop talking."

"Dear, he just misses you," my mother said with a smile. "I'm going to check on the the status of the kitchen."

She walked away and I wrapped my arms around Bella.

"How's your dad?"

"He's good," she sighed. "He kept going on and on about how he missed my stuffing this year. When I told him I made cornbread he sounded like something tragic happened."

"He's just trying to make you feel guilty." I brushed my fingers through her hair. I knew for a fact that this particular action was something that made her calm down.

"I know. It's just I feel horrible. This is the first holiday I've been away from him. It's little depressing, I'm glad I get to go home for Christmas."

"You're going home for Christmas?"

"I thought I told you." She pulled away from me. "Remember, it was the deal I made with my dad to get him to agree to letting me stay down here for Thanksgiving. I'll probably fly up to Washington the day before Christmas. Hopefully I'll get the time off. You guys are going home right?"

"Yeah we are, but we're flying out two days before Christmas Eve. You'll be here by yourself if you leave on Christmas Eve and the airport, lov-" I paused. Oh. My. Damn. I almost said love. I almost called her love. The L word. The term of endearment we're definitely _not_ ready for. Almost did it. Shit...well, maybe she didn't notice.

_Just pick it back up, Edward._

"The airport will be crazy." I added. I didn't like the idea of Bella flying by herself during the holidays.

"I'll be fine, Edward. I'm a big girl." she giggled. Her eyes looked pensive, thoughtful, almost as though she was going over the whole almost love slip-up.

"No, I'll talk to my parents and see if I can get my flight switched around so we can at least fly out around the same time if not the same flight. Bella I don't want you flying out by yourself or being here alone."

"Edward, you don't have to."

"I want to," I said, looking down at her.

"Edward..."

"Bella."

"You're not going to rest until I agree, are you?"

"Nope."

"Fine," she huffed. "You can fly out with me. I don't see the point though. I mean, you've already booked your tickets. It's just a bigger headache for you."

"_La mia vita,_ it's fine. Let me do this for you. It's not a problem."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, Bella. I would do anything for you."

And I really did mean it...anything.

* * *

**Anything Eddie? *giggles* Well anyways, I told you I had more for you guys at the end and it's true...I have a WHOLE lot more for ya!**

**First: A bit of pimpage for you. Check out *clears throat* "The Girl Under The Bed" by nostalgicmiss, it's all sorts of EPIC..."Voices Inside My Head" by miztrezboo, my cher ami is epically amazing..."Brotherly Devotion" by goldentemptress, the continuation of her one shot for the Forbidden Love Affair Contest...and finally "Bloody Sexy Boys" by the amazing mischief-maker 1, it's all sorts of fucking wonderfulness. :D **

**Second: If you don't have me an author alert you don't know, but I've posted a "story" called "Fournikation Foundation Competitions". I'll be updating it everytime we have a new contest going on, like we do now. I suggest you go and check it out.**

**Finally: Speaking of author alerting...I suggest you do it anyways, because I have some things up my sleeve that will be coming to you in the near, near future. _Nine Months In The Making_ is winding down and I have my new story ready to go. It's called "For Better For Worse" and I've got a bit of peek for all of you:

* * *

**

I brought my hand up to the door giving a nice, quick knock.

I hoped he was home and not pulling extra shifts at the hospital like he tended to do.

The door flew open and he stood there looking at me, a confused look on his face. He was shirtless wearing only a pair of flannel PJ bottoms, his hair was dripping wet.

"Bella? Is everything okay?" he asked studying my appearance.

My eyes must've been bloodshot from the few tears I shed on the drive over. My hair probably all sexed up still.

I didn't say a word.

I did what I came here for.

I ran straight into him, wrapping my arms tightly around his body. My head resting on his chest letting the smell of his after shave and soap envelope my senses.

He wrapped an arm around me as he took a few steps back allowing him to close the door.

"Oh Bella," he whispered combing his fingers through my hair. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll all work out."

I felt his lips press into the top of my head.

"Edward?" I sighed. Raising my head off his chest I looked up at him. His green eyes looking down at me.

"Yeah?"

"Love me."

* * *

** Hooked yet? Well like I said before author alert me and you'll be first in line to check it out when it makes its debut! :D**

**On an end note...Montepluciano set pics anyone? Reunion scene anyone? Anyone?**

***sigh***

**Reviews are better than catching your vampire boyfriend before he steps out into the sunlight to impending doom.**


	13. I Run to You

**a/n- Okay...I fail. I know. It's just I had finals...then summer and relishing in the pure laziness of it! So without further babbling and such...here it is...!  
**

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"When lies become the truth,  
That's when I run to you.

This world keeps spinning faster,  
To a new disaster, so I run to you."

-_"I Run to You"_

Lady Antebellum

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**Bella P.O.V.  
**I was standing at the counter at Doggie Style, getting my hours for the next week with Alice. They didn't want me working on Black Friday, considering they were having some major sales and the place was already a madhouse. Alice couldn't be happier about my work schedule, being home for Thanksgiving _and_ Black Friday was the highlight of the year. She claimed we needed to decorate for the holidays and shop.

I have been awake since two-thirty A.M. this morning. Rosalie got out of it, by telling Alice she'll direct the boys according to her plan. Lucky bitch. So, I grabbed some cash and flew out the door, but not without a moment with Edward.

**Flashback**

I was padding along the tile floor in nothing but my underwear and bra. I swore I had left my clean clothes in a basket out in the living room. I heard the lovely, lifesaving beeping of the coffee maker alerting me that my morning caffeine is ready.

I quickly whipped the pot of coffee and poured myself a cup of black, steaming goodness. I brought the cup to my lips and took a sip.

"Bella?" Edward's sleepy voice crooned.

I jumped and dropped my steaming cup of coffee, watching helplessly as it splattered across the floor. The coffee mug shattered and a deafening crack broke through the silent air of the apartment.

"Edward, you scared the shit out of me!" I gasped.

I looked up, and my mouth had issues forming words. He didn't have a shirt on, and that one piece of fabric that was missing really gave my central nervous system some problems. His pale chest was chiseled and sculpted in the most perfect of ways. Each abdominal muscle had it's own territory, and I drank in the light trail of hair that disappeared down his navy boxers. The perfectly-formed clavicles were calling my damn name. I wanted to bite them, scratch them, lick them. Hell, I wanted to fuck those damn clavicles. Only Edward Cullen would have fuckable clavicles. A shirt was separating me from this...this heaven? A shirt? _Just _a thin piece of fabric was shielding my eyes from his abdominal glory. It was closer than I thought.

Edward chuckled. "Clearly, I did."

"What the hell is going on out there?!" Alice whispered through the darkness.

"Um, nothing, Alice. Go back to your morning routine," I told her.

I scanned the floor for a clear spot to step. Considering I was in my bra and underwear and nothing else, I couldn't be more appropriately dressed.

"Bella, don't move, I don't want you to cut yourself." Edward ordered.

I stood still and crossed my arms.

Edward began to trot off into his bedroom. He turned his head around. "Don't worry about covering up," Edward chuckled. "I already saw you standing there."

Sure, Edward, play the obvious card.

He returned with a pair of slippers on and I nearly busted a lung laughing at him.

"Bella...please...don't laugh," he said somber expression on his face.

"Edward...they're...slippers!"

"Bella, they're not just _any _slippers, they're penguins."

"Oh. My. God. They are?"

I peeked a little farther as he turned on the light.

And he was correct.

Penguins.

Edward Cullen owned penguin slippers and I had no idea--just how I haven't realized that clavicles could be so damn appealing.  
And they weren't just your average clog-like slippers. They were the slippers you had to stick your entire feet into, with backs and everything. The slipper consisted of the entire penguin's body, and I had to say, they were ultra-cute.

He slowly shuffled across the floor with his slippers on, clearing the glass away. He made his way over to me and reached out his arms.

"Come here, Bella."

"You could've just brought-"

"Bella, just, come on..."

"I'll crush you-"

"Bella, please be realistic,"

"Fine, Edward!" I hissed.

I stepped on the precious penguin slippers and I felt the floor leave under my feet. He swooped me into his arms, my knees were bent, his arms behind them. My shins were against his muscular chest.  
I draped my arms across his shoulders and leaned into his ear.

"My hero," I murmured as I kissed his cheek. "But..." I said as I looked down. "The penguin slippers gave you confidence."

"Oh yes, the slippers..."

"How did you get them?" I pondered, looking into his deep green eyes.

"I'll tell you a quick story," he said as he shuffled across the floor.

Before I knew it I was thrown onto the couch, with Edward hovering over me. We landed with a loud 'oof'. As I looked deep into his green eyes, the more perfect he seemed. The more I wanted to have this to wake up to every morning. My daydreams of my future were dramatically changing. Instead of waking up beside Jacob, it was Edward. I saw my children with green eyes and bronze locks rather than, tan skin and dark hair. Somehow, I was okay with that.

"Well, when I was in high school..."

"Edward, that was just a few months ago!" I giddily reminded him.

"I'd rather not think of it that way, _la mia vita_," he said somberly.

"Aw, did you have a bad high school experience?" I asked him.

"Something to that effect," he replied. "Well...I went through this phase...and I had a thing for penguins."

Oh, dear God. He was a penguin fucker. I knew it! I should have known...

"Edward, that's called bestiality! You're sick!" I cried, smacking him and trying to wiggle out of his grip.

"Bella," he chuckled. "Let me finish!"

Whoops.

"I got very involved of the saving of the King Penguin...you know, the endangered species?"

I gulped. Sure, Edward I know all about that. I know all about penguins and their lives. Totally.

"Um...yea, Edward, I've heard of them."

I could tell he was trying to not go all penguin informative on me. He was trying his best to be civilized and human. I don't know how I would handle penguin-fanboy Edward. Maybe take him to the zoo? We could always sit and watch _Happy Feet _or _March of the Penguins_. I don't know.

"So, I became a member of this club...this club that you make a donation to every so often. And Alice decided to get me these slippers."

"Your deep-dark secret was...you had a penguin obsession?" I clarified.

He grimaced. "Yes. I realize it's not manly, it's actually pretty weird. But I'm over it."

"Well, I guess that's okay," I added. "My penguin man."

I traced my fingertip along the contour of his jaw as I placed light kisses until my lips met his. His tongue parted my lips and I groaned. His hot breath mixed with mine as I caught my breath.

"Ungh...Edward. We have to stop, I have to go." I said, tearing my lips from his.

I quickly threw Edward off of me as I scrambled for my lost clothing. I ran into the kitchen and began picking up the pieces of the mug.

"Bella, go, let me and the penguins take care of it," Edward insisted.

**End Flashback**

"Aw!" Alice cried. "I want that one, Bella! Look at her! She sees me!"

Alice was frantically pointing at the white Shih Poo she spotted in the glass. I had to admit, out of the dogs we had here, it was one of the nicest. I made myself a mental note to tell Jasper about it, he needed an idea for Alice's Christmas present, and he had asked for mine and Rosalie's help.

We made our way out of the chaotic pet store and onto the sidewalk.

"I would totally buy it today, and get it...but we have places to go and people to order around. We have to first call the boys and make sure that they got the Christmas tree and that they were able to get it in without trimming it. I mean, I payed seventy bucks to have it professionally done!" Alice explained.

"Uh-huh..." I replied.

"Bella, you're not really into this, are you?" Alice chirped.

"Um...well I think your excitement is really enough for everyone in the apartment, Alice," I honestly answered.

"Just imagine..." she sighed, wrapping her arm around my shoulder, her other hand flitting in the air. "Mistletoe, twinkle lights, snowflakes. The tree! Oh, the tree! It would be wrapped in millions of little lights, with a theme! I need a theme, Bella. Close your eyes, Bella! You will get a better visual."

I didn't close my eyes.

But she did.

"There will be a train! I've never had a train before! It will be going around our entire apartment, snow, sleigh bells on the door, Christmas songs playing lowly in the background...And we can all wear Santa hats!"

Hell. No. I am not wearing a Santa hat.

"And the presents all wrapped under the tree...Bella! Do you feel that, Bella? The icy winter breeze as the door opens! The snow comes whirring in, and we have to shut the door because it's so cold!" she giggled as a chill coursed through her body.

It's official, the pixie has lost her mind.

We're in La Jolla. It doesn't get below sixty-five degrees in December. She is getting _way_ too into this.

"Oh! And the faux-snow on the windows! And the holly! Oh, Bella! This is going to be the best Christmas _ever_!"

"Oh, I'm sure it is, Alice!" I grinned, feigning excitement.

She tore open her eyes. "Enough daydreaming, we must go to the mall for some more shopping!"

More shopping? MORE SHOPPING?! Alice's yellow Porche--her most prized possession--was already packed, trunk, and what was considered the backseat. If we did any more shopping, we'd need to strap it to the roof of the car.

"Alice..." I said as calmly as possible as I swallowed the string of complaints that would've left my lips. "Why don't we...take a break and see how things are going back at the apartment, with the decorating?"

"I believe they have it under control. I mean, the sixteen page description of my vision should be enough. I left them detailed diagrams and maps," she added, her smile creeping up the corners of her mouth as she described the control she had over this decorating extravaganza.

Alice led the way to the car and I quickly whipped out my phone.

Rosalie.

Alice would most definitely listen to Rosalie if she called saying something was wrong. Alice had put her trust in Rosalie, claiming they had similar minds. Alice trusted Rosalie to get the job done, knowing full well Rosalie had the capability of whooping a few asses when necessary...or even when not necessary.

God...what to say to her?

I furiously entered the message.

_Make up an issue with decorating. This is my SOS._

And pressed _SEND_.

Alice's phone began to ring.

"Ooh!" she squealed. She looked perplexed as she read the caller I.D. screen. "Hello?" she answered. "What? What do you mean they're not working?! I had those lights custom-made to perfectly fit above the doorways!" she huffed as she stopped walking. "And the garlands are yellow and not red? What about the tinsel...?" she gasped as she gripped onto my wrist. "NO!" she cried as I saw tears form in her eyes. "Not the trains...please tell me the hand-painted Christmas Barbie train is there..." she began to put her finger up to her mouth, ready to bite her nails. "We're on our way."

I immediately texted Rosalie.

_You rock. I owe you._

We practically flew into the car, Alice jamming the key into the ignition. She placed her fingers up to her lips, ready to bite her nails.

"Alice, don't bite your nails. You don't wanna ruin your manicure," I said to her soothingly. "I'm sure it's not that bad. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems."

A tear fell down her cheek.

She was a little over passionate about this.

Then it hit me. It was all a lie...what was Alice going to do when she found out everything was in place? Would Rosalie blame me? I think Rosalie understood the predicament I was in. I'm sure she had her lifetime's fair share of Alice shopping trips. It was a little frightening to think of. I mean, I knew the girl couldn't be totally heartless, she was _Emmett's_ girlfriend, for crying out loud. I'm sure she had a heart buried somewhere in that chest of nastiness. Then again, there was always the obvious issue that Rosalie didn't exactly like me...that she had a grudge against me or whatever.

We sped...the entire way to the apartment. And when her tires screeched as she parked, she decided to take up two parking spaces.

"Well aren't you feeling generous this morning?" I giggled.

She shot me a glare. Her decorating plot was being foiled, well...somewhat.

She bolted up the stairs screaming.

"I'm coming! Don't move! I'm here!" she cried, as I trailed cautiously behind her.

Alice flung open the door of the apartment.

"What is the problem here, everyone?" Alice cried.

Rosalie was standing under the mistletoe giggling while cradling Emmett's face in her hands.

Edward and Jasper were sitting on the couch, drinking bottles of water.

Alice's mouth opened wide at the winter wonderland that was sprawled out before her. The tree was lit in the corner, looking absolutely magnificent in it's twinkle lights. Green garlands wrapped in lights scalloped the walls with red bows decorating each peak. There was a train riding around the entire apartment. Alice had really outdone herself.

"It's...It's...perfect!" Alice cried, jumping up and down while clapping her hands. "So, why did you call me?" Alice asked Rosalie.

"Because it's done!" Rosalie said, mustering up as much enthusiasm as possible.

"Well, that's great...but there were no problems?" Alice asked, eying the crowd who had put her vision into reality.

"Um...no, darlin', there were no problems," Jasper said, wrapping his arm around Alice's waist.

"I don't get it...why did you need me then?" Alice asked again.

"Well, Alice, why don't you check Bella's cry-for-help text messages?" Rosalie piped up.

Oh no, she fucking didn't!

"Really, Bella?" Alice said incredulously.

I felt her hazel eyes bore into mine. I glanced down at the floor to escape her gaze.

"Bella, answer me," she demanded as I heard her footsteps come closer to me.

"I-I-I was just so tired, Alice. I couldn't take much more of shopping--"

"You mean, you couldn't take much more of me, am I right?" Alice attempted to clarify.

"No, Alice that's not what I said."

"Well, Bella, that's what it sounded like," she spat.

"Alice, that's not what I meant!" I screamed, trying to justify my explanation.

"Yes, Bella, just go crying to Edward now--just like you always do,"

I heard her heels click across the floor and the door slam.

"Alice, I'm sorry!" I called.

But it was too late. I could tell by the looks on everyone's faces that it was too late. Rosalie clicked her tongue in amusement.

"And, you! You cocky bitch! You're the one who started this!" I yelled.

Rosalie's head whipped up, and her fiery gaze met mine.

"Oh, really? Well...who sent the first text, Bella?"

I gulped.

_Me._

Rosalie headed for the door.

"Rosie!" Emmett called, "Rosalie!"

She walked out the door, closing it with a click. She made her point. Emmett followed her.

"You can't just walk away from your problems, Rosalie! And I know you have a problem with me!" I screamed.

Woah, where did _that_ come from?

Again, too late. I'm not winning today.

I glanced around the room as Jasper and Edward just stared at me.

"Bella..." Edward began.

"No, don't you 'Bella' me! I need some alone time, just...leave me alone!" I yelled.

I pressed my fingers against my temples as I ran into my room and crashed onto my bed.

I couldn't get my cell phone open fast enough.

I scrolled through my contacts and called Jacob.

He answered on the first ring, like usual.

"Bells?" he questioned, his voice a bit higher than normal--he was surprised.

"Yes, Jake..."

"What are you up to, babe?"

"Well...a little drama right now, I would greatly appreciate it if my best friend and boyfriend could help me with it," I explained.

"Okay, hold on one second, Bella. I'm picking out your Christmas present," he added.

That just reminded me. I needed to pick out a Christmas present for everyone I lived with. Along with Jacob. And Edward. I have no clue of what to get them.

"Aw, Jake. You really don't have to!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, I do, trust me. Now, is everything okay?" he asked.

"Um...honestly? No," I answered.

"Do I need to come get you, or kick some Edward ass?"

"No, Edward's fine. It's Alice...and Rosalie," I confessed.

"I'm not surprised."

"Alice...I am. But Rosalie, dammit, I shoulda' known."

"What happened, Bella?"

I relayed to him the entire story, from how I was up at three A.M.--leaving out the Edward part-- to shopping and how I exactly got us back to the dorm. I also told him about the entire Rosalie and Alice drama, not leaving a single quote or word out.

"Bella, I really don't think you're at fault here..." Jacob said.

"You may be a little biased," I chuckled.

"I just think you need to apologize. You get very self-righteous when you're angry," he added.

"I'm not angry, Jacob!" I exclaimed.

"Bells, you are. I really think you need to calm down, and apologize. You know, be the bigger person here."

"But Jacob..."

"No 'buts', Bella. You say things you don't mean when you're mad. Everyone does, it's a fact of life. We just get so caught up in it all, and we begin sputtering words out that don't make sense," he explained.

I had to admit, Jacob had a decent way of putting things.

"Oh, alright..." I gave in.

"Bella, just...do it for me. Do it for the sake of them. Remember, you're going to be living with these people. Who knows what you could be waking up to every morning?"

I grimaced just thinking about it. I could see chewing gum in my hair, all my clean clothes adorning the hallways of the building and possibly Mike Newton holding my bra as a collateral for sex. I was going to apologize even if it killed me.

"I'll do it, I promise."

"Okay, I'm going to go now, Bella, do me a favor and count to ten before you say something."

I giggled. "Alright, Jake. I will."

"I love you, Bella. Don't do anything stupid."

"I love you too, Jake. Same to you!" I laughed.

I flipped my phone closed and turned over to lie on my back.

"Ugh..." I groaned.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in," I replied.

I saw Alice cautiously making her way to my bed.

"Hi," Alice whimpered.

"Hi, Alice," I greeted her.

"Can I sit down?" she asked.

I patted on the mattress as I sat up and leaned against the wall.

"I just wanted to apologize, Bella. I'm sorry, I've been the nastiest bitch to you and you totally don't deserve it," she said quietly.

I smirked at her. "Alice, you don't need to apologize. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I didn't realize how it would've affected you. I was the one who sent Rosalie the text to get me out of shopping. It's just...I was tired. I'm not used to going shopping all the time."

"I just want to apologize for calling you a wimpy bitch," she sighed. "And for saying you always run to Edward."

"Alice, you never called me a wimpy bitch."

"Oh, right...I guess it was when you weren't there."

I quirked an eyebrow at her. "Thanks?"

"No problem, babe," she giggled.

"Friends?" I offered.

"Friends," she agreed. "And you know...it's okay if you like Edward. I don't mind, Bella."

I realized that we didn't really go over everything, every issue. But I wasn't about to dig it any deeper. Alice, from what I understood, was a forgiving person and she had no trouble at all with apologies. I was just at the point, where I was sick of fighting with everyone and anything that had feelings. I just figured the theory of forgiving and forgetting was the best thing to do right now. We couldn't afford to be fighting, especially when we slept in the same room.

"Don't even get me started on what's going on in my head right now," I told her.

"I just wanted to let you know, that I've got your back. And I'm always here if you need me."

"Thanks, Alice."

She began to get off my bed. She turned to me.

"Bella, just...be careful, okay? I don't want to see you get hurt."

I gave her a smile. "Alright, I'll be careful."

"Good. Now, Jas and I were going to grab a bite to eat...along with Emmett and Rosalie. Do you want to come?"

"Um, I'm actually okay here, I think I'm going to heat up some Thanksgiving leftovers and get some sleep."

She smiled at me, "Okay."

She walked out the door, and I heard the shuffling of feet out in the common room and then silence.

Glorious, glorious silence.

I made my way out to the room and I saw Edward smirking underneath the mistletoe.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes," he crooned from his spot.

"Look who's asking for trouble...standing under the mistletoe," I giggled, walking towards him.

He looked up and gave me one of his ultra-sexy crooked smiles. The exact one that made my heart melt, my heart either stop beating, or sending it into overdrive.

And his eyes were going to spark in...three...two...one.

His eyes ignited with a fire, setting his bright emerald irises ablaze. I didn't realize how close I was to him until he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling our chests together.

"Edward..." I whispered. "Would you kiss me under the mistletoe?"

"I'd be delighted," he chuckled.

His lips descended upon mine as my insides turned to some sort of pureed soup. I slumped into Edward's strong arms and delicious clavicles. My fingers wandered over his shoulders and wound through his bronze locks. I gently tugged on the ends as our tongues battled for dominance. His hand found its way under the back of my shirt, and his warm thumb began caressing my lower back. Goosebumps surfaced on my skin as I hungrily breathed into his mouth, catching a necessary breath.

"I love Christmas decorations and their traditions," I breathed into his ear.

"Me too," Edward chuckled, enveloping me in an embrace.

Edward's lips placed one final kiss upon my forehead. He rested his head upon mine, and I placed my flushed cheek against his warm, thumping chest.

We swayed to our own melody, our own music. We were lost in each other, completely unsure of where our lives, our relationship or our actions were going to take us.

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**a/n- So the lyric doesn't exactly refer to Edward :O. Our little Bella is confused (what else is new?) and Alice and Bella had their first argument. Who saw that drama coming?**

**Just wanted to do some pimpage for Aileen...her Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy oneshot for Age of Edward is banging (in more ways than one ;)) It'll make you want to cry...no more like uncontrollable sobbing. I know I did!**

**She also has a new story...For Better or For Worse. It's effing gold. It involves some good smuttin'. That's all I'm gonna say :P**

**Alright...don't be bitter! Review, review, review!  
**


	14. Can I Have This Dance

**Disclaimer: We don't own it. Not even a little. Sad.**

**Authors' Note: Bemylullaby here! It's my week and I swear I would've had this chapter to you guys last week but somebody was extremely late getting her chapter done...so I did the best I can and here it is! Hooray!**

**

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**"Won't you promise me, that you'll never forget  
To keep dancing, wherever we go next.  
It's like catching lightning  
The chances of finding someone like you  
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do  
And with every step together  
We just keep on getting better  
So can I have this dance?  
Can I have this dance?"  
- _Can I Have This Dance?_ by Vanessa Hudgens & Zac Efron from HSM 3

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**Bella P.O.V.**

Christmas was approaching and it was approaching fast. There was only today and tomorrow before I was leaving for Forks to spend Christmas with Charlie and Jacob. Which I wasn't looking forward to at all. Things with Jacob were slowly falling back into the funk we were in before he decided to visit. Which meant that things between Edward and I were gradually getting better and better with each day.

I knew that Christmas in Washington was going to be quite interesting. I knew that I needed to do something about the Edward and Jacob situation. I couldn't keep going on and on like I was, bouncing between being Jacob's girlfriend and Edward's...well....Edward's la mia vita, as he likes to put it.

I needed to make a decision and I needed to make one quick.

"Here," Alice dropped a white box in my lap and smiled. "Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Alice, I thought we were waiting until the day after Christmas to exchange gifts, in Forks."

"Well, we are, silly, but this, this you need for tonight."

"What's going on tonight?"

"Well..."

"Alice."

"It's Jasper, Em, Rose and I's last night in Cali and we wanted to go out. So, Rose and I decided we're going salsa dancing tonight. You and Edward are coming and you're going to put on the contents of the box, along with a happy smile and be have fun."

I lifted the lid off of the box and groaned when I saw the contents. I pulled the satin material out of the box and held it up. It was midnight blue, low cut and halter top. Judging by the length it was probably going to hit at the middle of my thigh.

"Alice, it's so short!"

"You'll look great in it though, Bella. Your legs are amazing, you'll look amazing."

"I can't dance," I said trying to come up with some form of excuse to get out of going tonight.

"I don't care. It's not rocket science, Bella. Just follow the lead of whoever you're dancing with, shake your ass and sway your hips. Salsa dancing is supposed to be sexy and seductive, you'll be fine."

"Are you implying that I'm sexy and seductive?"

"I'm saying that you'll be fine tonight. We'll find you some hot, Latin lover to show you around the dance floor."

"Alice, no, please."

She just smiled. "Don't worry about, like Edward will let you out of his sight." she smirked.

"Edward's going?!"

"Everyone is going silly," she said with a bit more enthusiasm. She knew that at the mention of Edward I would be ready and willing to go.

Had Edward become that big of an influence on me?

"Well..."

"Come on, Bella. It'll be fun, you never get out, you need to enjoy life, live it to the fullest!"

"Fine."

"Hooray!" Alice clapped her hands together. "Come on, let's get you ready."

Alice pulled me off the couch and straight into the bathroom.

Three hours later I was standing in the kitchen, constantly trying to pull the skirt of the dress farther down. The dress fit perfectly on me and the color looked great against my skin, but it was just a bit shorter than I was used to. Not to mention the death trap called heels Alice put on my feet.

"You know the dress isn't going to get any longer."

I stopped mid tug at the sound of his voice and turned around.

Edward was leaning against the counter in an all black suit with a midnight blue skinny tie, which I was more than positive wasn't a coincidence. His hair was in it's usual disheveled mess on top of his head. The green in his eyes were a bit darker than usual, a smile was plastered on his face.

"Shut up, Cullen."

"You know you love it." He pushed his elbows off the counter and walked towards me.

"Alice is crazy."

"It's who she is."

"Yeah, well she owes me big time for making me where this dress and the shoes. The shoes, Edward! The last time I wore heels this high was Homecoming my senior year. I tripped over a crack as I was crossing the street towards the car. Good thing we were just down the street from hospital. I ended up in a cast for a few weeks."

"Well, for what it's worth..." Edward reached out, his fingers trailing across my shoulder. "You look beautiful tonight."

I blushed. "Thanks. You don't look to bad yourself. You clean up quite nicely, Edward."

"Not as nice as you do." He leaned in and planted a kiss at the base of my neck next to the bun my hair was in.

"I, um..."

"Beautiful," he whispered into my ear. "Has anyone ever told you that?"

"I, um..." I couldn't even bring myself to tell him. Truth was, Jacob never mentioned I was beautiful. In fact I don't think he ever mentioned anything of the sort. Anytime we went to a dance or got dressed up it was, "Bella, damn you look good" or "Bella, you look nice". The only time he ever called me "beautiful" was when he first realized "bella" in Italian meant beautiful and, let's just say he'll never do it again.

He looked back up at me and frowned. "Jake's never told you that?"

"He-" I shrugged, turning my head away.

"_La mia vita,_" Edward nudged my face up with his thumb. "No matter what he says or hasn't said. You are beautiful, I'll tell you over and over again, you...are...beautiful. No matter what you're wearing, where you are. You're beautiful. In fact, you're beautiful more so, more so than anything in the world."

"Edward..."

His thumb brushed against my cheek and he smiled.

"I mean it. Bella, I'll tell you over and over just to make you believe it."

"I know."

"_Bella..._" He whispered just as the door to the boys' room opened up.

"Alright, let's get this party started!" Emmett boomed as he stepped out of the room. "Ladies, where are you? Are you ready to go?"

"Hush your mouth, Em. Beauty takes time." Rosalie stepped out of the room in a tight, short red dress.

"Damn, Rosie baby, you're looking fine tonight."

"Hands off, Em. Save it for the dance floor." Rosalie swatted Emmett's hand away and walked towards the door.

"Alright, you guys, let's go!" Alice exclaimed pushing us out the door.

"After you." Edward smiled motioning for me to step out the door. I returned the smile and followed Jasper out the door, Edward right behind me.

* * *

The loud beats of the Congo drums matched with the trumpets echoed in my mind as I sat in the corner of some salsa club in San Diego, Alice had found. She was definitely going crazy about the "short amount of time" we had together, before leaving for Christmas. She acted like the six I us wouldn't be twenty minutes away from each other, the five of them, to my understanding, less than five minutes away from each other.

But with Alice's impromptu night Rosalie spent the entire car ride to the club complaining that she wasn't done packing and their flight left tomorrow morning at ten. Alice just laughed told her that the two of them would pull an all nighter to get it done, because she had tons to pack too.

I watched as the bodies of my friends as well the rest of the club patrons mold together, swaying and dipping to the music, from a booth in the back of the club. Alice and Jasper along side Rosalie and Emmett looked like pros. Their pure passion and need for their partner was clearly brought out on the floor.

"You know you don't have to spend your entire night back here, _la mia vita_," Edward shouted over the music as he sat next to me.

"Neither do you. I'm a big girl, Edward I don't need someone to babysit me. Go find a hot señorita to twirl around the dance floor." From the moment we arrived at the club, nearly and hour and a half ago, Edward stayed planted in his seat next to me. I could tell by his constant fidgeting and finger drumming he was itching to go out and dance.

"Bella," he scooted in closer to my body, his voice deep and quiet. "you're the only," I could feel his hot breath against my skin, "Hot," his lips tickled the base of my neck, "señorita I want to twirl around the dance floor."

"I, I, I," I mumbled, unable to form a coherent thought. The feeling of his soft lips hovering against my neck was sending my body into a frenzy.

"What, Bella, what do you wan-"

"Iz! Come dance with me!" Emmett yelled, startling us as he approached the table.

"Em, you know that isn't a good idea."

"I don't care, come dance with me." Emmett held his hand out for me to take as I looked to Edward for help.

"No way," he held his hands up in surrender. "Let my brother twirl you around the dance floor."

"Come on, Iz," Emmett exclaimed as he wrapped his hand around pulling me up off the seat. "It's either me or Alice dragging you on to the dance floor. Believe me, you're better off if I do it."

"But I don't want to, Em."

Emmett just smiled, tightening his grip around my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor. He maneuvered his way through the crowd of bodies swaying to the music.

"Alright, let me warn you know, Em, I'm not the greatest dancer."

"Oh come on, Iz, it's not going to be that bad. Just follow my lead, let our bodies do the talking." He pulled my body close to mine.

"Don't say I never warned you."

"Come on, you can't be _that _bad." Emmett took one hand in his and placed his other hand on my hip. "Just feel the music, Iz. Let the music take control of your body."

"You're asking for trouble, Em."

Emmett just smiled, using his hand to swivel my hip. "Let go, Iz. Live life, come on!"

I sighed.

_You can do this, Bella. Just let Emmett do the leading._

"Alright, come on, Em, let's do this."

Emmett pulled my body closer to his and took a step forward just as I took one as well, stepping on Emmett's toes.

"Ouch, damn, Iz...nevermind I'm okay," Emmett huffed shaking his head.

"Sorry, Em, I warned you."

"It's fine, Iz, I'm fine. Let the music take control, remember that."

I nodded and Emmett took the lead pulling our bodies back and forth swaying to the beat.

"See you're not so bad, Iz."

"Yeah, you say that now."

Emmett grabbed my hand and attempted to twirl me around, but I just ended up tripping over his feet and running straight into his chest.

"Ow, oh sorry, Em."

He gulped. "It's fine, Iz. I'll be lucky if I'll be able to feel my feet tomorrow."

"Emmett!" I smacked him against his chest. "I told you!"

"Eh, but at least you're trying besides, you're not that bad."

"Don't lie to me, Emmett Cullen."

I heard someone clear their throat from behind me.

"Can I cut in?" Edward crooned from behind me. Before I could even say anything I was being twirled out of Emmett's arms and into Edward's.

"So you were looking really good out here."

"Don't lie to me, Edward. I was horrible. I kept stepping all over Emmett's feet."

"Well, you just didn't have the right dance partner," Edward rolled his eyes. "Emmett isn't the Cullen you want to twirl you around the dance floor."

"Oh?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him.

"Yeah." I felt his hand rest at the small of my back as he forcefully pulled our bodied together. Every curve of my body molded perfectly into his. "I'll show you exactly what it's like to be twirled around."

Slowly he started to sway from side to side. His hand never leaving the small of my back.

"Edward."

"Yeah?"

"Are we just gonna sway like this?" I looked up at him.

"You ready for the big guns?"

"You promised me you'd show me around the dance floor, so far I feel like I'm in junior high again."

"You asked for it."

The music changed pace and instead of the quick, sharp beats that was blaring through the room it was replaced by the slow, sensual sound of a acoustic guitar filled the room. The bodies dancing around us slowed their movements.

_Hay en mi corazón una inquietud  
Hoy te veo tan distante  
Hay algo que me aleja de tu amor  
De repente tu cambiaste  
Hoy insegura estoy  
El estar sin ti, se que me hará sufrir_

Edward's hand that was resting on my back traveled up the side of my body, sending chills down my spine at the slightest touch of his hand, guiding my arms around his neck. He rested his head against my temple, his breath tickling the skin by my ear.

"Let me do the leading, Bella." Edward planted his hands on my hips.

Edward took a step forward, his hands guiding my hips back allowed me to take a step backwards. He took a step back and I followed suit stepping forward.

"That's it, step back, step forward. Feel the music, let it guide you," he whispered into my ear.  
_  
Anoche yo sentí, que me besaste diferente  
Y me quede sin saber que hacer  
Yo te conozco y se que algo no anda bien  
Ven, dime la verdad, no quiero imaginar  
Que fue el beso del final_

Slowly our bodies moved together with the beat of the music. His hands pushed harder against my hips forcing our bodies closer together.

"Close your eyes, Bella. Let go."

I took a deep breath as I shut my eyes close letting the beat of the music guide me with each step.

The feeling of Edward's body against, mixed with the atmosphere of the club was making my body go crazy. Everything about the way our bodies moved together as one, swaying to the music made me weak.

I felt Edward's hand trail down the side of my thigh, stopping right underneath my knee. He hitched my leg up on his hip, playfully allowing his fingers to dance against my leg.

_No se por que ha cambiado tu actitud  
Ojala que todo sea un error  
No quiero comprobar que te perdí  
Ni que muestro amor se acabe  
Oigo una voz que se hunde en mi  
Que me vuelve a repetir  
Lo que no quiero oír_

Using his hand to brace my back he dipped me, the hand on my leg firmly holding my body close to his. As he pulled my body up his lips met the skin right above the rise of my breast.

"Edward," I whispered as he continued leaving a trail of kisses up my collar bone, to my neck.

"Yeah." The feeling of his breath against my skin tickled my senses.  
His kisses continued along the side of my jaw, to the corner of my lips. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Please," I begged. I needed to feel his soft lips against mine, to feel that frenzy of emotions that made my heart flutter as he kissed me.

He nodded, knowing exactly what it is that I needed, what it was that I was asking for.

He pressed his lips to mine. The moment our lips touched my whole body went limp.

"Edward." His name fell from my lips as our kiss was deepened.

He pulled away and smiled placing one final kiss on my lips.

Whatever it was that we were doing needed to be figured out.

"Bella, are you okay? You looked flushed."

I took a deep breath. it was getting a little hot in here, or maybe it was just me or the close proximity of Edward.

"Yeah, it's just a little stuffy in here."

He nodded and let go of my leg causing my body to stumble back a little.

"Whoa, you sure you okay?" Edward immediately used a hand to brace my back.

"Fine," I shook my head.

"Let's get you some air." taking my hand he swiftly maneuvered through the dance floor towards the door in the back leading to a back patio.

On the way out my eyes caught Alice's, who stopped mid twirl when she saw Edward and I heading outside. She gave me a weary look and I just smiled. I knew she was worried about the entire situation, she acted like she knew something was going to happen, like she knew it was going to end pretty for someone. In reality it was true. Someone was going to be hurt when I made my decision and I was going to walk away missing a piece of my heart.

Once outside Edward leaned up against a wall pulling my body toward him. His hands rubbing my back soothingly. We were supposed to be coming outside because I needed fresh air, but Edward wasn't helping the situation at all.

"Feeling better?"

"Much," I lied.

"Good."

Things were silent for a few minutes. Neither of us knowing what to say.

"So I'm going to see you while we're home, Right?" Edward asked. "I mean I have to give you you're Christmas present."

"Of course you will. Are you crazy? Remeber Alice has that dinner planned the day after Christmas."

"Right, but are you gonna..." Edward's voice trailed off.

I looked up at him. "Am I gonna bring Jacob with me?"

He sighed. "Yeah..."

"No I'm not going to bring him. This is my time with you guys, I'm not gonna ruin it by bringing him. Things would be awkward."  
"But he's your, your boyfriend and well..." Edward struggled to get the words out. He knew just a much as I knew just how messed up this entire situation is.

"Well, nothing," I huffed pushing myself away from him. "I don't wanna talk about it anymore."

"Bella."

"Can we just go back inside?" I looked towards the door, the sound from the club was vibrating through the door.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"Then, yes, let's go back inside. One more dance?"

"You're pushing it, Cullen."

"Eh, can't blame me for trying." Edward pushing himself off of the wall and opened the door for me. "Ladies first."

I smiled and stepped back into the club.

A few hours a couple dozen songs and two pairs of tired and hurting feet later Edward and I were comfortably sitting back at the table in the corner.

"Edward, Bella?" Alice called out as she walked up to the table, her arms wrapped tightly around Jasper's waist.

Picking my head up from it's spot against Edward's chest I looked at her. "Yeah, Alice?"

"I hate to end the party here, but are you two ready to go? Some of us have an early flight."

"We were just waiting for you, Alice," Edward lifted my legs that were currently sitting in his lap. "Come on, Bella. Let's get you home."

Edward slipped out of the booth extending his hand out towards me. The moment my hand fell into his that sharp surge of electricity coursed through my body. Our fingers locked and I couldn't help but feel like that was where I was supposed to be. Everything about tonight had been more than I ever dreamed it would ever be. Some how I had a feeling that Alice knew that and that's what she pushed for us to go.

The moment we stepped out of the club the chill of the evening hit my body, sending shivers down my spine.

"Cold?" Edward slipped the jacket he was wearing off and draped it around my shoulders.

"Thanks," I said sweetly.

"Alright, let's get home. We still have to pack, come on guys. Chop, chop, hurry!" Alice yelled as he skipped past us across the street towards the parking lot.

"How did you ever survive you entire life with her?!"

Edward chuckled. "Eh, lots and lots of patience. Which mind you I still don't have. You just learn to tune her out."

"I commend you for being able to deal with..." I looked off towards the parking lot where Alice was still dancing around with a very tired looking Jasper. "your sister."

"Well thank you, but you need to give Jasper the props. He's the one that deals with her the most."

"They're polar opposites."

"That's why they are perfect for each other. If they were both bouncing off the walls they would be at each other's throats the entire time."

We crossed the street and finally joined up with the rest of the group.

"Finally! Come on you two, hurry up!" Rosalie yelled from inside of the car.

"Come on, Edward, let's get in the car before Rosalie rips our heads off."

"After you, madam." Edward opened the door for me and I slid right in next to Emmett just as Edward slammed the door shut.

"Hey, Iz, have fun tonight?"

"Oh yeah, Em," I sighed glancing towards the front as Edward was getting into the passenger seat. "I had lots of fun."

* * *

"Oh my god, Bella have you seen my blue sweater? I missing my blue sweater!" Alice was running around the drawer searching through her closet for her precious blue sweater. "Jasper! Have you seen my sweater?"

Alice ran out of the room just as Edward was walking into it.

"Hey, you wanna get out of here?" He said loosening the knot on his tie.

"Edward, it's," I glanced over at the alarm clock sitting on my night stand. "nearly four-thirty. Where are we going to go? I need to get some sleep."

"Trust me, please?" He stalked across the room towards me, his hand outstretched. "Besides, we have all day to sleep tomorrow and besides with Alice running around trying to finish packing you're not going to get any sleep anyways. Come with me?" His eyes were pleading for me to go. They were begging for me to trust him.

I sighed. "Can I at least change into something a bit more comfortable?"

I looked down at the dress I was still wearing and my stocking clad feet. My hair was still tight in a bun at the nape of my neck a few strands of hair sticking out here and there. I was sure that the make up on my face was starting to smear.

"Don't--I like you the way you are. I'll bring a blanket and you can keep my jacket on. Come on, _la mia vita._"

"Fine, but will you at least tell me where we're going?"

"Nope, let's go." He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. Stopping in the living room the grab a blanket off the couch we headed towards the door.

"We're heading out for a little bit, guys! If we're not back by time you hit the hay, have a safe flight! See you at home!" Edward called out just as he was walking out of the door.

We maneuvered through the hallway o the building towards the stair well.

"Edward, can you slow down? And do we have to take the stairs, my feet are killing me."

"Your feet? What about my feet, you're the one that spent the entire night stepping on them!" Edward chuckled.

"I warned you!" I punched him in the arm as we started climbing the stairs.

A couple of floors later Edward finally pushed open the last door, exposing the empty rooftop of the building.

"The roof, Edward?"

"You're trusting me, right?"

"Yes."

"Well then, shut up and follow me." Edward pulled out a mini flashlight from his pocket turning it on.

"Oh, you came prepared."

"I was a boyscout, Bella. I'm _always_ prepared."

"A boyscout? Did you go on camping trips and earn badges and all that sort of stuff?"

"I did."

"Aw, you must've looked so cute in your little uniform with your little sash. I'll have to ask your mom for pictures. I know she has pictures."

"She'll bring them out too. God, why did I even mention it?"

"Because you don't think before you act."

Edward just smiled and took a seat on beat up old couch.

"A couch, Edward? Why is there a fucking couch on the roof?" I exclaimed looking at the couch a bit leary.

"Emmett and Jasper put it up here at the beginning of the year. They come up here all the time," Edward said patting the spot next to him.

"What happens when it rains?"

"They come here and push it under the awning over there," Edward pointed to the left of us. "Then there's a cover that goes over it."

"How come I've never heard of this spot up here?"

"Because no one but the three of us know about it. Now will you shut up and come sit down?"

"Fine," I huffed plopping down on the couch, pulling my knees against my chest. Edward took the blanket that was resting in his lap and covered us up. Draping his arm over my shoulder, he pulled my body close to him.

"Thank you for coming tonight, Bella." I felt Edward's hand reaching for my bun. His finger slowly started to pull the pins out of my hair.

"Your welcome, Edward. I don't think I really had any choice, but I'm glad that I went."

Edward took the last pin out and ruffled his hand through my hair.

"So, tell me, Edward. Why is it that you dragged me all the way up here? Surely it wasn't to sit on some old couch your brother and best friend come and escape on."

"_La mia vita,_" He whispered softly. I turned my body towards him, looking at him square in the eye. "do you remember that first night we stayed up talking?"

"Yeah."

"Remember you mentioned you've always wanted to see the sunrise?"

My heart stopped. Edward always remembered the little things about me. Like how I preferred the clear gummy bears over all the other colors or how I hated the melba toast in Chex mix and never ate it. He knew that I couldn't sleep without some form of blanket or sheet snuggled up against my face or how my guilty pleasure was an afternoon nap after watching Oprah. He knew how much I missed being home with my dad or how even to this day I blame myself for my mother dying. Edward knew all of the little things in my life that didn't matter, but mattered to him.

"Yeah," I squeaked out.

"Well, we're here to watch the sunrise. We've still got some time until it does rise, so I thought we'd come up a bit early and get away from everyone."

I smiled. "Sounds like a plan, but good luck keeping me awake."

"If you fall asleep I'll just wake you up."

"Good luck with that as well."

We sat together, wrapped up in each other's warmth talking about the little things about our lives we never talked about.

Edward told me about the summers he spent in Texas with the Hales at some summer camp. How he learned to swim when he was five because Emmett pushed him into the pool. But the biggest thing I learned about Edward in the few short hours we sat there was how much he envied his parent's relationship. He was enamored with the fact that after all these years, after all the trials and tribulations life threw at them they still loved each other as much as they did the first day they met. I learned that he wanted to find someone he loved just as much as his father loves his mother.

In return I told Edward what it was like growing up in La Push with just Charlie. How I spent my summers tripping over the rocks down at First Beach and having bonfires. How I was always cast under the shadow of Jacob Black. How out of all of my friends back home Paul and Kim were the only two who saw me as Bella Swan and not Bella, Jake's girlfriend.

My eyes started to slide close when Edward nudged me in the arm.

"Bella, come on don't poop out on me now. It's almost time, it's starting to get brighter."

"I'm so, so tired, Edward. I just wanna go to sleep."

"No, I want you to see this."

"But..."

"No, come on stay awake. After the sun rises we'll go back down to the dorm and fall asleep, _together_. How about that?"

"Mmmm, I'd like that, Edward." I snuggled into his chest.

The sun slowly started to rise dimly lighting the campus below us. The sky was a mixture of blue fading into a beautiful shade of orange.

Edward wrapped his arm around me tighter, his thumb rubbing circles against my arm. With my head resting against his chest I could feel his heart beating with mine, like we were one. The feeling I got in his arms was like no other. There were no words to describe the way my body felt when I was with him, in his arms.

"Thank you, Edward," I mumbled into his chest.

"You're welcome. Now, you can say you've watched the sunrise from on top of your dorm building in the middle of December."

"All thanks to you."

"Hey, I know how many times you've tried and failed. I decided that night I was going to make it my mission to show it to you. Tonight just happened to be the perfect morning."

"Well, thank you," I yawned, burying my head deeper into his chest. I could definitely get used to being this close to him, all the time.

"Come on, let's get you back downstairs and to bed." Edward slipped his arms under my knees and stood up.

"Edward, I can walk."

"Humor me."

I smiled pulling the blanket around my body. Somehow Edward managed to kick the door open with his foot and carry me down the stairs. When we got inside the dorm it was quiet, a row of suitcases in the kitchen. Edward slowly put me down.

"Come on," Edward whispered taking my hand and guiding me into the living room. "Did you wanna change into something more comfortable?"

"Maybe." I looked towards the closed door of my bedroom and sighed.

"Here." Edward unbuttoned his dress shirt and slipped it off, handing it to me.

"Thanks." I walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I quickly slipped the dress off and pulled Edward's shirt on. The sleeves were way to long and I looked like I was swimming in it. I washed all the make up off my face and walked back out.

"Oh, Bella," Edward chuckled walking over to me. One arm at a time he rolled the sleeves up so my hands were free. "There, all better. I think you should wear my shirts more often."

"I kinda like it."

"So do I. Ready for bed?"

"Yeah, let me grab the blankets."

He nodded as he began to pull the bed out of the couch. I grabbed the blankets from hall closet. When I got back to the couch Edward was already laying down, he patted the empty spot, my side, next to him.

"Hold your horses." I climbed into bed and Edward quickly wrapped his arms around me.

"Good night, Bella."

"Good night, Edward."

* * *

**What is Bella going to do? She needs to make a decision...and she should make a decision soon. **

**Hopefully the next chapter will be done by next Wednesday...hopefully. I'll be out of town and in Washington this entire week leaving Katie up to the task of writing the next chapter with no bugging from me. But I'll do my best to get her to write her little heart out. :D**

**Until Next time!**

**Reviews are better then dancing with Edward Cullen.  
**


	15. Details in the Fabric

**a/n: I know, I epically fail...majorly. I mean, honestly I haven't exactly had a lot of alone time to write. Vacations...work...and people got in the way. So, onward!  
**

**

* * *

**

"Hold your own,  
Know your name,  
And go your own way,

And everything will be fine,

Hang on,  
Help is on the way,  
Stay strong,  
I'm doing everything."

_-"Details in the Fabric"  
_

Jason Mraz

**

* * *

**

**Edward P.O.V.**

The door to the dorm room shut close and I could final rest peacefully. They were all finally gone. Finally. I had some time alone with Bella. Alone time where it was just the two of us, no one around to bother us, to judge us. We slept until noon, our bodies tangled together on the couch, when we decided it was time to get up and make some breakfast.

Waking up beside her was something that I thought wouldn't be such a big deal, something not very exciting. It exceeded my expectations. Her sleeping form was so…calm, so peaceful. The feeling of her petite body wrapped up in my arms, her head resting against my chest, was something I couldn't describe. I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach that made me all warm and tingly.

**Flashback**

Her hands intensely clutched the blankets between her fingers. Her lips murmured over and over again something I could barely hear.

I leaned in closer to her lips and I heard it.

"I can't choose," she breathed, "Edward? Jacob?"

"I'm right here, Bella. Right where you left me," I said softly, my hand unwinding hers from the blankets. I placed her small, soft hand in mine and brought it to my lips.

"I'm here for you, _la mia vita_."

"Edward?" she sleepily groaned.

"Yes, Bella?" I questioned, believing for a second that she was awake.

"I don't know who I want."

I gulped. She couldn't choose between me or Jacob. She didn't know. I didn't want it to come to this. I didn't want to make her choose.

She rolled over and I draped my arm over her, still holding her hand.

"I'll help you, Bella. I will."

**End Flashback  
**

"Edward, trust me. I can make eggs like none other. My dad says they're better than the ones that the diner makes. Do we have any peppers?" Bella wondered, shuffling through the refrigerator.

"Yeah, probably in the drawer, with the other vegetables."

I heard the drawer open, and her hands moving the various contents around.

"Try the back of the drawer…" I added.

"I have it covered, Edward," she spat, dangling the bag of peppers in her hands. She rolled her eyes.

Woah. Bitchy Bella.

She found the cutting board under the sink and washed the peppers off.

"Bella, is that hot sauce?" I questioned as she set the bottle of death on the counter beside the stove.

"Mhmm…" she murmured. "Just a pinch, Edward. No need to go overboard on that."

I briefly recalled the moment where Emmett decided to do hot sauce shots with Jasper. I sat out of that one for obvious reasons.

Bella served her Mexican omelets, and I had to say they were amazing. A little bit of spice, but it was still mild. I was skeptical as to how they would turn out considering she put some weird ingredients in there. I thought back to the Thanksgiving dinner, and I really shouldn't have been so shocked.

"Edward, you ready to dig in?" Bella asked as she held a fork out to me.

Bella decided we were eating out of the pan for some odd reason. I couldn't complain because then there wouldn't be any dishes.

I could sense that Bella didn't want to talk. She seemed standoffish. I picked up on her vibes, and she seemed grateful that we didn't exchange any displays of affection.

"Well, I better go pack, and you should too, Edward."

And she left so quickly that I couldn't even reply. I was left alone with dirty dishes. I just hoped that Bella would figure it out, whether it included me or not, I just wanted her happiness to be my top priority.

**Bella POV:**

Staring at the suitcase in front of me I was kicking myself for not packing earlier. Yeah, sure I had a few pieces of clothes thrown into the suitcase but it was hardly what I would call packed.

I opened my drawers and threw some clothes that looked decent enough to wear to the annual Clearwater Christmas party that was held on Christmas Eve. I grabbed a few sweatshirts, because winter in the Olympic Peninsula was totally different than the winter in La Jolla.  
I picked up my shirts and began folding. I looked at my one shirt that was red and a little low cut.

_Jacob would like that, _I thought.

I folded it and placed it neatly in my suitcase.

I rummaged through my closet and found a midnight blue blouse that Edward told me he liked.

I folded that and placed it right beside the red one.

Jacob.

Edward.

Fire.

Ice.

This disgustingly wrong web of lies that I had tangled was catching up with me in the most random places, like packing, for example. I took me a moment to really process what I had been doing.

They were two totally different people, and I was a different person around each of them. I wasn't staying true to myself anymore.

I wasn't just packing what Jacob liked any more, I was packing what Edward preferred as well.

I really needed to make my decision, and fast. I do realize that most normal human beings would take time and thoroughly process a decision that would fully change the course of their lives. On the other hand, I never considered myself a normal human being. Never.

I just stood there, empty handed and with an open mind, and for the first time ever, I allowed my mind to wander freely.

Jacob made me feel so at home, so comfortable--but so did Edward. Edward was always sweet and loving, and he never seemed to take me for granted. There were definitely times where I felt that Jacob wasn't always acknowledging my presence. Sometimes Edward would do random acts of kindness, opening doors for me, offering to help. The first time I ever met Edward was through his kindness. He offered to help me with my bags.

I sat down on my bed, I needed to figure this whole mess out. I threw random articles of clothing into my suitcase, not giving a rat's ass anymore about what I packed. I gave up on pleasing people. All my life I did what was best for everyone else around me. Well, guess what? It's time for me, Isabella Marie Swan to put myself first for once.

I let my mind go, I let it go across my mother, that I never knew. Somehow, I ended up at Jacob.

Jacob. Jacob. Jacob.

I ripped out a my notebook and a pen.

I immediately began scrawling down the tornado in my mind, completely disregarding if it made sense. I needed to vent. I needed to process it all.

I stared at the words that I had written, they were beginning to smear as my tears dropped onto the ink. I wasn't sad because of what happened, I was disappointed. I had made my decision. I chose Edward.

I had that feeling stuck inside me though.

Remember when you were little, and all you did was sleep with a certain blanket? As you got older, you parted with it. Maybe you didn't sleep with it anymore, but you put it away in a box, and your interests shifted. Either way, whenever you'd see that blanket, an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia would sweep over your body. It was a part of you at one point, and you were still holding onto that specific part for dear life. It had taken me until now to realize that Jacob Black was my blanket. I kept him around for comfort. There was a time that I was in love with him, but not anymore. I have changed. I really didn't realize that I could drop the damn blanket and move on, until I finally did. Now, I can see that there are so many different opportunities out there, Edward Cullen being one.

* * *

I walked out into the hallway and Edward was standing there, running his hands through his hair like usual.

"Is that all you ever do?" I questioned, quirking an eyebrow at him.

He smirked, his lovely, original, panty-dropping crooked grin making my breath hitch.

I quickly jerked myself back into reality.

Back to business.

"I was thinking, maybe we could go get some coffee, you know before we leave for the break," I said quietly.

I'm not sure if he caught on to my attitude or not today, but he nodded his head in agreement with no questions asked.

We walked silently to the coffee shop, side-by-side. Not a single glance was exchanged between us. My body was tense, upset and all-around disconnected from my brain.

I think we made it there in record time.

I slumped into my chair while Edward ordered us drinks. He hung out by the counter waiting for them to be made.

I sat there and thought exactly what I would say to him, I wondered what he would think of my decision. Where would I go from here?

He came over with our drinks and sat down, handing me the styrofoam cup with a lid and a straw.

"Green tea, one whole packet of sugar, half a cream. I got the same for myself," he added.

It was a green tea day, because there's nothing like crying your eyes out alone, confused and unsure of yourself and then taking a sip of that.

"Edward, we need to talk," I said quietly.

"I should've known--" he growled as he got up, shoving his chair back into the table.

"Edward! It's not like that!" I cried, standing up after him. His expression shifted, his eyes once hooded with sadness, now had hope in them. "Sit."

He sulked, realizing the scene he had just made, and pulled out his chair. I sat down after he was already seated.

"I've been thinking lately," I began. "About where I want to be in my life, Edward. I'm sick of being something I'm not. I'm not a cheater, a liar. It's not in my nature, it never was, never will be."

I gulped and let that sink in. Edward nudged my green tea towards me. I took it in my hands and slurped a small amount through the straw. The burning liquid stung my throat, and it took my mind off of my problems.

"I've realized that I'm not the same person you met. I've changed. What I'm doing right now is totally and completely wrong, not to mention unfair to you and Jacob."

The words burned my throat, so I decided another sip of tea was mandatory.

His eyes were burning into mine, so much so that I had to look away. He was pressuring me, and as I looked away his gaze softened, and it was less intimidating. He must've realized exactly how difficult this was for me, and telling him would be just as hard.

"What I guess I'm trying to say is, Edward, I've made my decision."

I visibly saw him stiffen, his entire body just went rigid. His fingers squeezed his cup and the lid popped off. He quickly pushed it back on, and refocused on the matter at hand.

"I'm not the same person who you met six months ago. I'm better. I'm better because of you."

"Bella, can we please cut to the chase here?" Edward questioned.

"I chose you, Edward, I want to be with you."

The words poured out of my mouth like a waterfall of sorts.

He smiled, the most sexual, romantic, in-love smile I have ever seen in my entire existence.

His face leaned in towards mine, my eyes fluttered closed. His warm lips met mine and it was like a match was dropped on gasoline. Every doubt, every worry was presented and gone in that one instant. A wave of relief washed over me.

I was in love with Edward Cullen and I didn't care who knew.

I really didn't care.

Our lips parted and I smiled so hard, so happily that my cheeks started to hurt. I let out a tiny giggle of relief.  
"You were killing me there for a second," Edward chuckled.

"I didn't mean to!" I laughed.

"What do you say, let's get out of here?" Edward asked.

"I say, that's a great idea."

We both got up, and Edward draped his arm around my shoulder.

This is where I was meant to be, in Edward's arms, by his side.

* * *

We were sitting on _our _couch, the very couch we spent so many sleepless nights on. But for some reason, the air in the room was different. We were totally and completely alone for more than a span of four hours.  
I climbed into Edward's lap, his hands snaking around my body. I couldn't help but notice exactly how perfect and how right this moment felt. The entire feeling of perfection just magnified exactly why I should be with Edward.

I turned to Edward, his eyes were fixed on the television. God knows what we were watching, it wasn't like I was paying any attention. I shifted in his lap so that I was facing him. He smiled, and grabbed the remote, turning off the television.

He took the sides of my face softly into his palms. I fixated my gaze to his eyes. His beautiful, green eyes. It was one of the very first things that I noticed. But it was ridiculous, because once his eyes captured yours, you were doomed, because then you were drawn in by his perfect face. Then staring at his face again, I was lost in his eyes. It was a total catch twenty-two.

I was easily distracted by Edward's lips when they said my name.

"Bella?" he chuckled. "Earth to Bella."

I immediately snapped out of my up-close and personal Edward ogling.

"I-I'm here," I murmured unconvincingly.

"Good," he said, smirking his panty-wetting smirk.

And before I knew it, Edward's lips were upon mine moving quickly and heatedly. A low, breathy whimper escaped my lips. He was hovering over me, how I ended up lying down, I had yet to figure out. I guess he just had that effect on me.

"Bella," he said."Are you sure you want to do this?"

Had I wanted to do this? Of course I wanted to do this, dammit. If I was going to make my decision, I was going to do it thoroughly.

"Edward, I completely and totally want to do this."

His lips met mine, roughly and zestfully. His fingers slowly undid my ponytail, allowing my hair to fall down my shoulders.

"Beautiful," he smirked.

I stood up, gripping onto his hair for balance. He hoisted me up, carrying me off to the bedroom. Never once did our lips loose contact, that was until we reached the closed door of the bedroom.

My pulse quickened as I fumbled for the doorknob to my room, I gripped it tightly and twisted it. We stumbled into my bedroom, his lips finding mine again. I fisted my hands in his hair and wrapped my legs tightly around his torso. His hot breath met mine as we broke for air. I felt Edward stop just before my bed. I climbed out of his arms and tugged on the bottom of his shirt. I quickly lifted it over his head and gazed at his exposed chest. It was glorious. I mean, I had only been living with him for the past six months, and I had seen his shirt off plenty of times, except it never ceases to stun me. This time, this time...was definitely not for a hygenic purpose. It was just for me.

Damn, I felt selfish.

I took another look at his half-naked body.

I take that back. All. Mine.

He cleared his throat. "Bella, you are still fully clothed."

I looked down.

"And your point is?" I questioned, quirking an eyebrow at him.

"Well, I personally don't think it's fair..." he started.

I began to lift my shirt over my head.

"Bella, would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?"

I stop mid-strip and stared at him. "Would you like to do that part?"

He smirked. "Yes."

I wound my hand behind his neck and brought our lips together in an unearthly kiss. Everything just washed from me in that very instant, every worry was taken care of. There was a fire raging between us, and invisible sparks that flew from where we touched. Each passionate moan and whimper of longing, building us up to something so natural it only seemed to heighten my senses.

He steadied his hands and held the hem of my shirt between his fingers. I looked up at him through my dark eyelashes. He lifted my shirt over my head in the most painfully slow manner that the world has ever seen. I quickly dipped my finger into the waistband of his jeans, pulling his body closer to me. I fumbled for a moment as I attempted to unbutton them, and I finally got it. Success.

I swiftly did away with his bottoms, letting them puddle at our feet. His warm hands traveled to my hips and he hastily undid the button of my jeans. His fingers hooked in the belt loops and slowly but tortuously glided my pants over my legs. I watched intently as his perfect eyes trailed every inch of my skin.

"Bella, love," he whispered in my ear. "You're beautiful."

I felt his lips softly kiss my ear as I whimpered his name.

His hands traveled down my back and unclasped my bra. I heard a throaty moan escape his lips.

I bit down on my lip as his hand palmed my breast. His pace and force were incessantly changing, soft, hard, quick, slow. I felt my nipples harden, and my core ache with longing. I wanted his hands anywhere and everywhere, ready to care for my dire needs.

"Edward," I panted, barely able to form a single word.

His hands wound behind my back as he lowered me onto the bed. His tongue darted out of his mouth and tasted the sheen of sweat that developed on my skin, his tongue worked across my breasts as I gripped tightly to his hair. My body ached for him in every way possible.

His lips became dangerously close to mine, and he placed a quick peck leaving me wanting more.

Before I knew it, his fingers were hooked onto my panties. His smirk was full of lust and hunger, clearly I was in for it. I deviously smiled back at him, allowing a hiss to escape my lips as his fingers trailed further down my thighs, taking my panties with them.

Edward's body hovered over mine, and his arms kept his flawlessly, God-sculpted chest just inches from my grasp.

"My turn," I giggled.

I stood in front of him as I glided my finger just above the waistband of his boxers. His entire body shivered in response.

I smirked, as I slowly dragged my fingertip right down the contour of his hardened member.

Then, I heard Edward murmur something under his breath.  
I cocked my head to the side and grinned.

"What was that, Edward?" I asked innocently, but I'm sure the fire in my eyes proved otherwise.

"Fuck," he grunted.

I let a small chuckle. "That's what I thought."

I dipped my fingers into the waistband, and gave his boxers a light tug. I let gravity do the rest.

Holy fuck.

I'm sure my expression gave Edward that smug look on his face.

I kissed his lips as his hands traveled from my hips to my breasts as his thumbs slowly passed over my nipples, and a silent moan escaped my throat. Each touch, each way his tongue would envelop mine was new, exciting and downright arousing. His hands moved down my back as I hitched my legs around his torso. I created the friction I needed grinding harder and faster with each pass, our kisses swallowing our moans.

I felt my back hit the bed as his lips left mine.

"Bella, are you sure?" he questioned, his eyes half full of lust, half full of concern.

"Y-yes, Edward," I replied, my chest quivering.

I felt his erection press against my thigh, and I breathlessly said his name.

He attacked my skin with dozens of kisses. He shifted his weight and started at my thigh and worked his way up. He paused at my hipbone and darted his tongue out of his mouth. He glided his tongue across my skin at a painfully slow speed, sending shivers down my spine. I felt like I was about to explode with frustration. His lips swooped upon mine again and I fisted my hands in his hair. I frustratingly dug my heels into the mattress, trying to relieve some of this frustration in any way shape or form.

"Anxious, are we?" Edward breathed, breaking our kiss for a moment.  
My only response was a moan of pure lust.

And in one quick movement, Edward was inside of me.

Both of our gasps screeched to a halt for that one second. He was purely mine, and I was purely his. Our bodies instinctively found their rhythm, each thrust was desperately needed.

I gripped tightly onto his back, searching for something to hold on to. I was falling, faster than ever into an ocean of pure bliss and ecstasy.

"Edward..." I groaned as our thrusts became stronger. I was teetering on the edge of bliss and reality. He was getting all the right spots, I could barely contain my screams any longer.

He was close, and I knew I wasn't far behind. With one final thrust, we climaxed, screaming each other's names like a mantra.

"Oh my god," I gasped, my chest heaving rapidly, trying to pump blood through my flushed body.

Edward crashed beside me, his form nearly enveloping the entire bed.

"I have to agree, with that statement," he gasped.

I snuggled up under Edward's arm, sweaty and spent. Right now, I was too absorbed by my post-coital state to care about anything. I could care less about Jacob's reaction to the break-up. I made my decision, I had promised Edward and I wasn't going back on my word.

"You're packed, right?" Edward asked me, as he pulled me closer to his body.

"Mhmm..." I whimpered, dreading going home and "taking care of business" as I have called it.

"Good, because then we can sleep in a little bit tomorrow," he chuckled.

"Or...we could..." I giggled suggestively, as I traced my fingernail down his chest.

"Yes, I suppose we could do that, it may be a _tight squeeze, _though," Edward chuckled, his eyes completely lust-filled.

"Edward!" I chided him, giving him a playful smack on the chest. "I'm sure we could _fit _it in."

The corners of his mouth turned up, forcing a smile to spread across my lips.

"You're a bad influence on me, Bella Swan."

Oh, like he should talk?

"Right back at you, Edward Cullen."

I felt his lips graze my cheek, and I instinctively pulled myself closer to his body.

I felt his heart beat in time with mine, each thump, slowing our bodies down, bringing us back to reality.

I could do this. I could _so_ do this.

And with those affirmations, I let my mind wander until I fell asleep, right where I wanted to be, in Edward's arms

* * *

**a/n Thank you for being so patient and continuing to read this! We love hearing feedback! :)**


	16. Last Christmas

**Disclaimer: As per the usual we don't own it. **

**Authors' Note: Bemylullaby here! :D Well, it's Christmas time and Bella's headed home. For the record I love this Christmas song, I think it's amazing and extremely fitting. :D

* * *

**

"A crowded room, friends with tired eyes  
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice  
My God I thought you were someone to rely on, Me?  
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on  
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart  
A man under cover but you tore me apart  
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart  
But the very next day you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special"

- "Last Christmas" by Wham!

* * *

**Bella POV:**

Our plane touched down at SeaTac airport and I felt that familiar tightening in my stomach. The moment I stepped off this plane, my life would be changing.

I would be walking away from Edward only to walk towards Jacob, with my sights set on ending things with him. I was a different person, he was a different person. In a few short months in the real world, my whole perspective on life had changed.

"So, you'll call me as soon as you get to La Push?" Edward asked, pulling the bag I had resting on my shoulder higher up so it wouldn't fall. We walked slowly into the terminal.

"Of course, but you swear like we're not gonna pass each other up on the freeway or something. Who's picking you up?"

"You know I'm not exactly sure. All I know is someone is picking me up." Edward smiled, grabbing my hand in his, pulling me close to him.

"Edward." I picked my hand up which was currently intertwined with his. Our fingers fit so tightly and perfectly together.

"Yeah?"

"Everything will work out, right?"

"Of course, _la mia vita_, of course." He brought my hand up to his lips, brushing a soft kiss against my knuckles. "Now, let's go face the real world. The sooner we face it, the sooner we can be together."

He went to let go of my hand, but I hung on little while longer I didn't want to let go, just yet.

"The chief picking you up?"

"Yeah, he's supposed to. Apparently he took an early day and is coming straight from work. So he'll be in his uniform and in the cruiser," I sighed. "Welcome home."

Edward chuckled.

"Oh, the joys of being the Chief of Police's daughter."

We continued walking through the terminal, our fingers tightly intertwined together. Our conversation light, avoiding the moment that was to come.

We reached the top of the escalator that would take us down to the baggage claim area and Edward stopped, yanking my arm towards him. Enveloping my body in his arms he held on to me like it was the last time he would see me. I could feel his heart beating softly in his chest. I didn't want to let him go.

"You promise to call me when you get to La Push?" Edward asked, pulling away from me.

"Of course, silly, we went over this already. As soon as I walk into my dad's house and get settled I'll call you."

"Okay, be careful, please?"

I laughed. "Who do you think I am?"

"Bella, you've told me the stories of all the scars on your body. You're prone to accidents; you'll manage to hurt yourself somehow. Please, just be careful, I want you to come back to me safely."

"Okay, Edward-" I paused shortly to look at him. Memorizing the green in his eyes, the way his lips turned up when he smiled. Everything that was about to happen during this trip home was going to be worth it because of him. "I'll be careful, I promise."

"You better." He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips, pulling away before I could deepen the kiss.

"Do what you have to do and when you come home to me, I promise there'll be more of that." He tapped his finger against my nose and smiled.

"Alright," I whined. "Let's do this."

I nodded my head, adjusted the bag on my shoulder and took a step onto the escalator. As I descended down, leaving Edward behind me, I scanned the crowd for my father. Immediately I spotted Jasper and Alice leaning against a wall, wrapped up in each other.

I couldn't help but miss Edward already. It was bittersweet considering that I was coming home to see my boyfriend, yet I was missing the _other_ guy.

"Bells!" I stopped dead in my tracks. It was Jacob's voice.

I turned around and saw him, waving one arm wildly in the air, the hand clutching tightly to a bouquet of flowers.

What was he doing here? I thought Charlie was gonna pick me up. Why was Jacob here? I wasn't prepared to deal with him just yet.

My phone vibrating in my pocket alerting me I had a text message. I smiled when I saw the sender.

Edward.

I quickly opened it and the smile that was on my face turned to a frown.

_Charlie, huh?_

As I walked over to Jacob, I turned to my left where Jasper and Alice were standing and saw Edward approaching them his bright, crooked smile gone, as Alice gave him a hug.

I watched the two of them share a few words, before Alice turned her head towards my direction. She waved, and I quickly returned the gesture.

"Bells, you're home!" Jacob exclaimed, as I reached him.

"I am."

He gave me a hug and leaned in for a quick kiss.

"Here, I bought these for you." He stretched his hand out for me to take the flowers.

"Thanks," I said with a smile. "Where's my dad?"

"I offered to pick you up. I wanted it to be a surprise. That whole story about taking an early day was just a story."

"Oh, well…that's good."

"Come on, Bells. Let's get your bags. I thought we could stop off at the Italian place in Port Angeles you like so much."

"Bella Italia?"

"Yeah, that's the place. Oh and I'm warning you now, someone is going to come by tonight and kidnap you. I wasn't supposed to tell you, but I didn't want them to freak you out," Jacob said, walking over to the carousel where the luggage from my flight was starting to come down.

"What do you mean someone is going to kidnap me?"

"Well, Embry and Quil miss you. They thought it was a great idea if they organized a bonfire of sorts for your homecoming."

"In December?!"

"Yeah well, it's Embry and Quil, they mean well. Kim quickly talked them out of it, though. Instead you're getting a small gathering at Paul and Rachel's new place." Jacob's voice sounded a little irritated at the mention of Paul and Rachel.

"Paul and Rachel-"

"I don't wanna talk about it, Bella." He leaned forward pulling one of my bags off the carousel. "Just the one?"

"Just the one."

"Alright…" Jacob set the bag down, pulling the handle up so he could roll it, then he took my hand in his. "Let's get this party started."

The ride to Port Angeles was quiet. We spent the entire drive running around different subjects. Every single one dying before it even started.

Dinner at Bella Italia just made me miss Edward more. Jacob spent the entire dinner reaching for my hand across the table, brushing his fingers against my hand. It felt weird, I felt like I was cheating. Yet, all that time when I was with Edward it didn't phase me one bit. I felt like I belonged with Edward someway, somehow.

Jacob set my suitcase down in my room. "Alright, Bells, I'll let you get situated and what not. Your dad is going straight to Paul and Rachel's after work, so you won't see him until then."

I nodded. "Okay."

Jacob kissed me and started to walk out of my room.

"Hey, Jake!" I called out.

"Yeah, Bells?"

"Um…" I looked down at the floorboards, stuffing my hands into the pocket of my coat. "I wanted to talk to you about something, when you get a chance."

"Of course, Bella, we have all this time together. I'm sure we can fit sometime in."

The sooner the better.

"Okay."

Jacob turned away and left. I needed to talk to him, I couldn't keep up this charade much longer.

I pulled my cell phone out of my purse, scrolling down my contacts, looking for Edward.

It rang a few times, before he answered.

"Hey, I was starting to get worried about you."

I laughed.

"I'm sorry, Edward. Jacob decided he wanted to stop in Port Angeles for dinner."

"Oh…"

"Yeah, listen, apparently there's this big welcome home party going on tonight at Paul and Rachel's…"

There was a loud knock on my door.

"Who's that?" Edward asked.

"It's most likely my kidnapper." I got up, shuffling towards the door.

"Kidnapper?"

"Yes, for my secret welcome home party I was trying to tell you about…" I started to open the door and screamed when I saw the person standing on the other side of the door.

"Edward, I've gotta go. I'll call you later."

"Um, sure, yeah, Bella. Have fun." Before I could even say anything, the line went dead and the sound of the dial tone echoed in my ear.

I threw my phone behind, praying that it would land on my bed.

"Paul!" I threw my hands around his neck, practically jumping him.

I missed Paul.

"It's good to see you too, doll face," he chuckled, trying to support my weight.

I slid down his body and smiled. "I'm so glad it's you."

"Jacob can't keep a secret can he?"

I laughed. "We're talking about the same Jacob Black, right?"

"Yes, the same Jacob Black. This was supposed to be a surprise."

"I know and I appreciate the lovely gesture. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Do you know what I had to do to be the one to pick you up tonight?"

"I'll bet a lot. I'm sure Kim wanted to pick me up."

"Oh, hell did she, she claimed she needed girl time. Whatever, I won in the end. Now, come here and give me a proper hug, kid." Paul outstretched his arms out.

"Paul, it's sooooo good to see you," I sighed, leaning into his body and wrapping my arms around him. "You give the best hugs."

"Of course I do. Now come on, let's get going before Embry and Quil start fighting." Paul let go of me, only to grab my hand.

We walked outside and slowly started down the street.

"So, you and Rachel have your own place now?"

Paul smiled. "Yeah, it's Quil's old place. Since moving into Quil's house, he didn't have much use for it. Apparently it's more useful if Rach and I have it."

"Well, I was glad to hear that you were still alive. How did Jake take it?"

Paul laughed, "Oh, Bella, I wish you could've been there. Rachel and I sat him down, with Billy playing mediator and told him. He nearly lunged across the table, trying to choke me. Let's just say, I didn't hang around the house for a few days after that."

"How did Billy take it?"

"He wasn't happy at first, but he's excited now. We're getting married in March; you should try to come up. Rachel isn't happy that she's going to be super pregnant, but she's the one that didn't want to have a cold wedding."

"I'll bet," I chuckled. "How is she doing?"

"Good, morning sickness is kicking her in the ass, but she's doing really well." I could detect the happiness in Paul's voice. While he may never admit it to Jacob's face, I was positive that he was excited about the whole situation.

We stopped in front of Old Quil's house, well now Rachel and Paul's house.

"Brace yourself, Bella." Paul walked ahead of me and opened the door.

The moment I walked in the door I was bombarded but a sea of yelling and hugs.

"Isabell-la!" I turned around to see a much taller Seth Clearwater.

"Holy hell, Seth! Look at you!"

"What can I say? I've been working out." Seth winked at me, flexing his arm muscles, before giving me a hug. "I've missed you kid."

"As I've missed you, Seth."

"Let go of her." The sound of Quil's voice echoed from behind me.

"Yeah, quit hogging, Bella." Embry added.

Next thing I knew I was thrust in between the hug of Embry and Quil.

"Bella sandwich!" They both yelled.

"Ouch, guys, you're hurting me." I managed to squeak out.

"Sorry, Bella," Quil said, pulling away from.

"Yeah, sorry, Bella." Embry sighed, letting go of me. "We really did miss you, Bella."

"I missed the two of you too." I offered them a smile and continued to look around at everyone who was there.

Crammed in Paul and Rachel's house was everyone who was someone in my life. Well, that is my life here in Washington.

Jared and Kim were hanging low in the corner, smiling at me. I noticed Kim struggling to keep Jared back with her. I was sure that he was dying to attack me just like Seth, Quil and Embry had. Of course there was Seth, Quil and Embry standing right in front of me, huge smiles on their faces. I noticed Rachel sitting on a chair, her feet resting up. She looked tired and I wondered how much she'd actually done for this surprise welcome home party. I saw Charlie and Billy huddled on the couch, their attention turned towards the TV. I heard the faint humming coming from the kitchen, which probably belonged to Sue Clearwater. Seeing as she had a tendency to hum or sing as she cooked.

Then there was Jacob was leaning on the wall right in front of me, pass the three musketeers, a stupid smile on his face, whispering quietly to Paul.

There was just one person I was curious to see show up.

"Hey, Jake my mom wants to know if you'll run down to the store and pick up another box of…" Leah started to say, walking into the living room and straight towards Jacob. She stopped the moment she saw everyone looking at me, and groaned. "Oh, Bella, you're here. Welcome home."

_If that wasn't the fakest "welcome home", I'd ever heard._

"Thanks, Leah."

"What did you need, Lee?" Jacob asked, pushing himself off of the wall.

"Oh, nothing, Bella's here. I'm sure you don't wanna leave to get something from the store."

"Oh, no it's fine, I'll run out. What do you need, Lee?"

"Really it's no probably, Jay, Emily said she'd call Sam if you couldn't go."

"Only if you're sure, Lee."

She smiled at him. "Positive, Jay. Spend time with Bella, we all know how you miss her so."

Leah turned back around, heading back into the kitchen. If I would've been here a month or so ago, I would've ripped the damn smile off of her face. But considering things were different now, I wanted to welcome anything Leah and Jacob could, would've had with open arms. It might make things easier in the long run.

* * *

**Christmas Day, the next day.**

I couldn't help but notice the egg shells everyone was walking on around me today.

The entire morning my father was grinning ear to ear, even as he took the time to shovel the driveway out. The way he was looking at me was skeptical. Then when I stepped foot into the Clearwater house and Kim saw me she wouldn't stop giggling. Emily kept looking at me with a huge grin on her face. I swore every time Rachel looked at me she had a tear in her eye.

As for the boys, well they all sat around giving Jacob a hard time and making crude jokes every time they passed me.

Something was definitely going on.

Dinner was over and awkward to say the least. Leah spent the entire night glaring at me, like she wanted to rip my head off. After dinner, I carefully slipped away outside to call Edward.

Pulling my jacket tighter around my body, I dialed Edward's number.

"Bella, Merry Christmas!" It was Rosalie that answered Edward's phone.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Rosalie. How are you guys doing?"

"Good, we just finished up with dinner. The boys are in the kitchen cleaning up everything, because it's tradition. They girls cook dinner, the boys clean up. They always break something too."

I laughed.

Was it horrible for me to wish I was with them rather than being here with the people I'd grown up with?

"I can only imagine," I sighed.

"Last year, Emmett broke Esme's glass serving tray. Oh, it wasn't a pretty sight."

"I'll bet. Not that I don't want to talk to you, Rose, but..."

She interrupted. "No, I understand. Let me enter the war zone that is the kitchen and see if Edward can't escape."

I heard Rosalie's heels clicking against the flooring in the Cullen's house, followed by loud yelling.

"Hello?" Edward's voice came on the line.

"Edward..." I said softly. I couldn't explain the rush that overcame my body at the sound of his voice.

"Bella! Bella! Merry Christmas, Bella!" I could hear Emmett's voice yelling in the background.

"Shut up, Em!" Edward yelled.

"Let me talk to her," Emmett argued.

"No, I'm talking her, she called me," Edward yelled back. I could hear rustling of the phone.

"Bella?!" Emmett yelled.

"Em, you don't have to yell," I chuckled.

"Sorry, Iz, Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too, Em. How was dinner?"

"Delicious, I love Christmas!"

"More than you like Thanksgiving?"

"Hell no! I love Thanksgiving! Food and football, it's the perfect holiday."

"Of course it is, listen, Em I don't mean to be rude but...."

"You wanna talk to the Edski, I understand. Here he is, I'll see you tomorrow right?"

"Right, I'll be there in the afternoon."

"Sounds like a plan, Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Merry Christmas, Emmett."

There was some more shuffling of the phone and some muffled arguing.

"I'm really sorry, Bella," Edward said.

"It's okay. I miss you guys, it's only been a few days, but I already miss you guys..." I paused and took a deep breath. "I miss you, Edward."

"I miss you too, _la mia vita_. God, do I miss you," Edward breathed deeply into the phone.

"How was your Christmas?"

"It was eventful, as always. Emmett ate all the food. Alice tried to pick at her presents. Jasper broke the plate this year. At least it was the platter like Emmett did last year."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"How's your Christmas? How was that party last night?"

"Eh, the party last night was awkward. It was good to see everyone, but some of it was awkward. Leah was there and throwing me the dirtiest looks. Today though everyone is acting so weird around me. I don't know how to take it. Really, I don't wanna be here with them, I'd rather be with you guys," I admitted.

"Bella?" The door behind me creaked open and Paul peaked his head out.

"Hold on, Edward," I said into the phone before turning my attention towards Paul.

"Yeah, Paul?"

"Everyone is looking for you. Why are you sitting out here by yourself?" Paul asked.

"I'm on the phone." I waved my phone out.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry, Bells. Well, don't stay out here too long, it's cold and everyone is looking for you."

"I won't be much longer, tell them I'll be right in." I flashed him a smile as he turned around and headed back into the house.

"Sorry about that, Edward," I said, returning my attention back to Edward.

"It's okay. Remind me who Paul is again?"

"Paul is one of my best friends here. He's the _mature_ one out of the group. He's the one that's dating Jacob's sister, the one who's pregnant."

"Got it, I remember now. Well, I should head back into the kitchen and let you get back to your Christmas," Edward said, his voice sounded flat.

"Right..."

"Thank you for calling."

"You knew I would. Merry Christmas, Edward."

"Merry Christmas, Bella, can't wait to see you tomorrow."

"Ditto," I said with a smile. "Call you tonight?"

"I'll be waiting," he said.

"Goodbye, Edward."

"Goodbye."

I sighed, pressing the end call button. I needed to talk to Jacob and I needed to talk to him soon. I missed Edward so much and it killed me to be away from him. I'd spent the past few months leaning on him for everything. Not only because there was something about him that pulled me towards him, but because in a dorm with two other couples we naturally grew close; escaping the lovey dovey couple stuff together.

When I walked into the house everyone was sitting around the living room.

"Bella..." Jacob said, coming up from behind me, his hand placed against the small of my back.

"Yeah?" I turned my head to look at him.

"Bella, I want to give you your Christmas present now," he said with a smile.

"Jake, we should wait for everyone else to get their presents."

"Oh no, go ahead, Bells, we don't mind," Charlie said from across the room, a huge smile on his face.

Looking around the rest of the room everyone else's attention was towards us. I had a feeling this so-called Christmas present wasn't going to be your normal run of the mill present.

"Fine, go ahead. You better have not gone overboard, Jake," I said. I walked over to the nearest open spot on the couch, which just so happened to be next to Kim.

"Hi, Bella," she squealed.

"Kim," I replied a bit skeptical on the way she was acting.

Jacob took a deep breath as he stood right in front of me, his hand thrust deep into his pockets. "Bella..."

"Jacob..."

"In the beginning I didn't know what to get you for Christmas. I spent hours on the phone with Kim talking about possible things I could get you, but everything we came up with didn't seem to fit. Nothing screamed 'Bella's perfect Christmas gift'. Then I found it and I knew it would be perfect." Jacob took one of my hands in his. "Bella..."

"Yeah?" I was getting a little nervous. The entire room was quiet, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. It was all too eerie and frankly a bit scary.

"Bella..." Jacob pulled the other hand that was in his pocket out and got down on his knee.

Holy fuck.

"Bella, I know we're young and everything, and we've got our entire lives ahead of us, but I've always known it was you. You've been there for me my entire life. There isn't a childhood memory that I have that doesn't include you. You are the one I want in my life forever. Marry me?"

I think my mind stopped processing when he said those last two words and flipped the black velvet box open. I think my heart stopped when I realized that the ring sitting in the bed of velvet was the ring that belonged to his Grandmother, who gave it his dad to give to his mom, the ring that was meant to be for the one.

I looked at him blankly and couldn't find the word to say how I felt.

Jacob was right when he said there wasn't a childhood memory that I had that doesn't include him. Being in California opened my eyes to a whole other world out there. I couldn't do this, I came home with plans to break up with Jacob, not get engaged to him.

Just as I was about to say "no" I made the mistake of looking up at everyone around us. Billy and Charlie were in the corner beaming with happiness. The two of them had been waiting for this day since we were still in diapers. Quil, Embry and Seth were being immature and cracking jokes amongst themselves, but I could see that they were proud of Jacob. Even if they were thinking he was crazy for settling down so young. Leaning in the doorway of the kitchen was Emily and Rachel who were standing there with smiles on their faces and tears running down their cheeks. Then there was Kim, who was bouncing up and down in her seat next to me, Jared behind her trying to calm her down.

Looking around at everyone who mattered in my life, noticing how happy they were, I realized I couldn't say no right now. We were young I could use the excuse that I wanted to wait until I graduated until we got married. I would have to slowly pull away from Jacob and break the news to him that I wasn't ready, that he deserved someone else. And I would have to tell Edward that things between us would have to be put on hold for a little bit.

I couldn't break the hearts of everyone around me, right now.

Later, yes.

But right now, on Christmas, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Looking Jacob straight in the eyes, I put on my best smile. "Yes."

He slid the ring on my finger and enveloped me in a hug. "Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Merry Christmas."

What the hell did I just do?

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***ducks and hides* Please don't kill me.**

**There's a purpose..there's always purpose...but things can be sunshine and roses ALL the time.**

**Until next week...at least hopefully next week. *nudges katie* (That's a hint sweets)**


	17. Almost Lover

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything Twilight. It's all yours, Stephenie.  
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**a/n- katiemcullen here…Why is it that my updates are ALWAYS late? I just suck at life, I suppose! I'll make it easy on you, just blame me. Onward…**

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"Goodbye, my almost lover,  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream,  
I'm trying not to think about you,  
Can't you just let me be?  
So long, my luckless romance,  
My back is turned on you,  
Should've known you'd bring me heartache,  
Almost lovers always do."

-_"Almost Lover"_

A Fine Frenzy

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Edward P.O.V.**

It was the day after Christmas, and it had felt like forever since I had seen Bella. I was hoping she went through with her promise.

We were all here and getting ready for our "mid-afternoon dinner" as Alice and Esme were calling it.

I was in charge of the bruschetta and bread…or whatever the hell this stale, bread/cracker thing was. I tried some, it wasn't half bad, it just couldn't make up its mind.

Before that, I had slaved all day preparing the turkey. From the nasty stuffing of it with vegetables, to the incessant basting, I had seen enough of this damn turkey for a while. I was surprised that Alice allowed me to do it this year, because that is normally her territory, actually everything was her territory. Rosalie would help here and there, but she normally kept Emmett company. Jasper attempted to help Alice where he could, and Esme oversaw the production, making sure her designer kitchen wasn't going up in flames.

"Jasper, you officially suck at cutting the cheese!" Alice chirped as she flitted through the kitchen.

Jasper busted out laughing, and gripped his side in his fit of laughter.

"Do you realize what you just said, Al?" Jasper chuckled.

Alice smirked and wound the towel into a whip and whacked Jasper across the ass. She was wearing her apron, which she made me wear a matching one. They had our names embroidered on them, Esme had given them to us when we were younger, trying to entice us to help her in the kitchen so we could wear them. Emmett had one too, but he rarely used it. He was more of the consumer than the chef.

"Shut up, Jasper! You know I'm right. There isn't a single good slice here. Look—" she argued her point by picking up a completely butchered piece of cheese. "You're like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, except with cheese."

"Well, I am from Texas," he retorted.

My sister playfully smacked his head before giving Jasper a kiss.

Alice took the reigns on the rest of the hors d'oeuvres, considering we couldn't even do it properly…or to Alice's OCD standards. I only hoped that the turkey would be okay.

"So, Edward, are you excited about Bella coming?" she asked me quizzically.

I smiled as my sister mentioned Bella's name. "I suppose I am," I said wholeheartedly.

I was very excited to finally have Bella back. She can see our home, and where we lived just before going to school in La Jolla.

We heard the doorbell ring and Alice jumped, threw off her apron and immediately rushed into the foyer. I was right behind her, apron already on the floor.

"Bella!" Alice squealed, as I watched my sister pull a smiling Bella into a death-grip embrace.

"I missed you too, Alice," Bella gasped.

Her cheeks were flushed from the cold weather. Her hair was pulled back away from her face. She looked beautiful. She had quite a few bags spilling from her grip.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," I said to her quietly.

She smiled. "Merry Christmas, Edward." she returned.

I gave her a small peck on the cheek.

I grabbed some of the presents from her hands and went to put them under the tree.

"Iz!" Emmett called from the stairs.

"Em!" she giggled. "It's so nice to see you!"

Emmett bounded down the steps, like a loud thunder roaring through the air. He squeezed Bella tightly, and lifted her off the ground. He took her coat and went back upstairs.

"I missed ya, womb-mate!" Emmett chuckled upon his swift return, draping his arm over Bella's shoulder.

"Bella, it's wonderful to see you again," Esme said kindly, as she entered the foyer.

"Oh, Esme, I love the decorations!" Bella exclaimed, as she walked over to my side. Her eyes were darting around the room, probably trying to take in the holiday decor. I placed my arm around her waist, and hugged her to my side. Her form stiffened beside me. Maybe she hasn't broken the news to Jacob yet. I wasn't about to pressure her. She was probably just waiting until after Christmas. There was no use in raising hell during the holidays.

"Alice was a little upset that she couldn't plan it this year," my mother smiled.

Carlisle started down the steps, a smile on his face. He always enjoyed the holiday season.

"Dad! It's so on! Guitar Hero battle, right now!" Emmett yelled as he rushed past us and into the family room, the home of his video games.

My father appeared, he had been busy doing some extra paperwork in his study so he could take a few days off.

"I'll be right with you, Emmett," he added, "Ah, Bella. How are you? Edward has told me that your first semester went smoothly," Carlisle noted.

"Yes, it went very well, thank you. I'm just glad that I have some time off now."

She quietly shifted beside me as Alice bounded through the doorway.

"Bella, we have some hors d'oeuvres in the dining room when you're ready," Alice announced.

Rosalie walked in. "Carlisle, Emmett is waiting for you, he's getting impatient," she chuckled.

Whatever stick was up her ass magically disappeared during the holidays. It was almost as if she was a different person.

"Hey Bella, I must say, Alice made her bruschetta the other day. It was fabulous. Try some," Rosalie added.

_And_ she was decent to Bella. Who _was_ this person?

"Some things never change, especially Emmett's impatience." Carlisle said to Rosalie before they left the room.

We made our way into the dining room, and Bella grabbed herself a plate. I watched as Alice promptly dropped her cheese and crackers on the floor. Her lips were slightly parted, and it looked like Alice was about to vomit.

"Bella, what is that ring on the fourth finger of your _left_ hand?" Alice interrogated, her eyes widening.

"Um…I…well…you see—" Bella fumbled for words.

"You're _engaged_?!" Alice screeched, promptly dropping her cheese and cracker on the floor before tackling Bella.

Holy fuck.

I swear the room tilted. To the right…to the left…

The diamond on her finger taunted me. It practically laughed at me. I couldn't even look at it.

I gripped onto the table for stability as Alice and Bella chatted. My vision blurred multiple times. I was never a fainter, Alice was pelting her with questions more detailed than I even wanted to know. What was that called, the four C's of purchasing a ring?

Had I heard this engagement announcement clearly?

What rhymes with engagement?

She always could've said she put Jacob in a _cage_ in the _basement_. That seems to work.  
"Well, I mean. Jake proposed last night…" Bella started.

Unfortunately, I had heard that perfectly. Jacob was roaming wild. My eyes darted to the ring once again, as Alice held Bella's hand in hers, giving the ring a proper inspection.

Bella was engaged. To Jacob.

When the fuck did this happen? Wait, I knew that last night or so she claimed. I talked to her last night, on the phone. When she was at the Clearwaters' or whatever…

Before I knew it, the room was flooded with everyone. Conversation was buzzing around me about Bella and her recent engagement.

"And then I said 'yes'…" she explained for the fourth time to Esme, Alice and Rosalie all gushed over the damn ring.

"I think I'll go get some more cheese," I said, flustered.

Was it hot in here?  
I rushed out the kitchen door that led to the patio. The freezing afternoon air seemed to take my mind off of the matter at hand. Or the matter on Bella's hand.

There was a heavy planter that rested on the edge of the wooden railing.

I threw all my force into it as I watched the planter tumble off the deck. It hit the cold ground with a deafening _crack_.

I dug my fingers into the wooden balcony.

I wasn't going to cry. I wanted to fucking scream.  
I forced the heels of my hands into my eye sockets, hoping to relieve some stress, or at least wake myself up from this sick nightmare.

But it was no nightmare.  
It was my life.

Her words haunted my mind.

_"I chose you, Edward, I want to be with you."_

Fucking lie.

Was everything a lie? Did she play me? Edward Cullen was never the loser in a game. Oh, no. I _never_ got the short end of the stick…until now.

I heard the door open and close behind me.

"Edward…" Esme's voice softly floated behind me.

"Mom, I'm alright."

"Where did that planter go?" my mother questioned. She peered over the railing and gasped. "You have to learn to control your temper."

"I'm sorry, I'll replace it. I was just so angry…she chose me, mom! That ring…on her finger is supposed to be from me!" I cried, my arms flailing animatedly to prove my point.

"I'm sorry, but I don't recall you buying a ring, son."

"That's not what I meant, I just thought that maybe one day…"  
"Edward, we can talk about this later. I'm sure we all have something to say about this _surprise_. Until then, you have to man up and congratulate Bella. She looked at you for some sort of approval, Edward, and all you did was chicken out to get cheese!"

"I'm sorry, mom…"

"Don't tell _me_ you're sorry, there is a lovely woman waiting in there to hear you congratulate her on her engagement. While I am more than positive you are crushed right now, she is buzzing with excitement. The least you could do is say congratulations, and smile. Everyone else has," she explained. "Put on a brave face for her, Edward, for your Bella."

I really didn't need to know that Bella was buzzing with excitement, that was the last thing I wanted to hear right now. How about tortured, guilty, sick to her stomach from lying to me? Clearly those emotions were not showing.

Sometimes, mother knows best. Her words may have stung a little, but they are what I needed to hear. Then again, the only person who I would allow to talk to me like that _would _be my mother.

"Alright, Edward?"

"I love you, mom."

"I love you too, Edward."

We walked back inside and as Esme went downstairs, I headed for the dining room to talk to Bella. I wasn't going to talk, per se, I was going to congratulate, and mask my pain.

I took one look at Bella and I wanted to automatically make a beeline for the door again.

She was sitting at the table, conversing with Rosalie about wedding plans and their various likes and dislikes. I was the only one in here besides Rose and Bella, making it that much annoying when they didn't see me.

"Well, I think roses would be fitting for when you get married, Rosalie," Bella informed her.

"I know, they would be so perfect!" Rosalie replied.

Bella's gaze caught mine, and I realized at that very moment, that I was the person who's approval she needed. This was getting beyond sick.

"I'm going to go see if they need help in the kitchen…" Rosalie excused, making a quick exit.

I could definitely tell that everyone was hovered on the opposite side of the door, listening to every movement we made, every word we would exchange. Carlisle probably had his stethoscope.

"Well, congratulations, Bella," I said rather nicely, despite my sour mood.

She smiled—it resembled a grimace to my eyes.

She nodded her head slowly. "Thank you, Edward."

And that was that. No apologies, no "we'll work this out" speech. Absolutely positively nothing on the fact that she chose me. And now she's engaged. Perfect.

"Coming through!" Alice chimed as she swiftly busted through the swinging door between the kitchen and the dining room. She had the roasted turkey in her hands, it was nearly the size of her, and she daintily bounced to the table.

"Smells delicious, Alice," Bella complimented.

"Oh, don't compliment me, Bella. It was all Edward's doing…" she noted. "And if it smells as good as it will taste, then we're in for a real treat."

Go Alice!

Alice gently smiled at me, I realized she was asking me if I was okay. I guess it was a part of our twin thing. We could just shoot each other a simple glance—no words necessary—and know exactly what the other means. Esme smiled, she knew us so well. When we were younger, Alice and I used to even have our own language. I'm sure one of our conversations are stowed away on home video somewhere.

I went to sit down as far away from Bella as possible.

"Edward, there are place cards, please sit in your seat," Emmett chided me, smacking me on the head. "By the way, you're soiling my spot."

"Alright, Emmett, calm down," Carlisle added as he came into the room. He had the salad in his hands.  
Between everyone else who was in the kitchen, spying on Bella's and my conversation, I had been preoccupied with exactly how hungry I was. Most people eat their internal organs to fat when they're upset, but me, I'm more of a starver. Being upset nauseates me, and I can't even breathe, or think or even act normally. It's never a great experience.

I searched for my place at the table, which ended up being next to Bella. How great.

We were all served our food. I wasn't the least bit hungry, but everyone else seemed to be. I just pushed my food around on my plate. I took a couple of bites after many worried glances from Esme, and a few from Carlisle. I had to admit, my turkey was very good. It was perfectly seasoned with the intense blend of spices I used, and it was cooked to perfection. The entire meal was wonderful, but I really had no appetite to eat.

"Edward, this turkey is absolutely perfect!" Esme exclaimed.

"It's ike a awgahum im my mouf!" Emmett cried, his mouth stuffed with the contents of his plate.

"What did he say?" Bella wondered curiously.

"Who knows…" Rosalie chimed in.

"Edward, you were right about the turkey. You did have it under control," Alice noted with an impressed look on her face.

I felt like everyone was staring at me, like I should say something. They were staring at me, just waiting for me to scream, go get cheese, or make a scene over this engagement thing. Except I was intending to do the exact opposite. I was going to be okay. Or at least pretend I am okay, whichever comes first.

"Thank you," I barely said. "I must say, I worked hard on it."

"Well, it tastes wonderful, dear," Esme complimented as she passed the basket full of bread to Carlisle.

There was an elephant in the room. And everyone was doing their best to ignore it.

This meal has been terribly painful so far. I actually believe that I have a headache from all of this, my head has a pulse. I can't even glance over at Bella. She was laughing to Alice about some old Christmas memories.

My ears perked when I heard my name mentioned.  
"And then I bought Edward his penguin slippers!" Alice exclaimed before sipping her iced tea. "I was perusing the aisles of Target and I saw them, and nearly collapsed. I knew he would like them."

"Clearly he did," Bella said softly.

"Well, if it weren't for those penguin slippers, you certainly would've sliced your feet open," I noted.  
"What?" the entire table questioned in unison as they focused their gazes on me.

"Explain. Pronto," Alice demanded, her eyes searching mine and Bella's face for a clue.

"What happened was—" Bella began just before I cut her off.

Hasn't she done enough damage just talking? I gazed at those very lips that had uttered the word that sealed her fate not even a day ago.

"It was more like, those two—" I explained, nodding to Alice and Bella "were up at three in the morning—"

"Excuse me, Edward. We were going shopping!" Alice interjected. "On Black Friday!"

"Alright, whatever. Point is, I broke a mug _because_ of Edward. So he had a right to come and save me with his penguin slippers. He was obligated to," Bella said nastily, pretty much crushing any traces of our relationship.

_Breathe, Cullen. You should never hit a lady, no matter what the hell she does to you. Even if she embarrasses you in front of your whole family, completely forgetting your relationship._

I clenched my fists under the table, and dug my fingers into my palms.

I slowly breathed in and out, trying to control my temper. My emotions were now fully clawing at my insides like a demon being exorcised.

Carlisle flicked his eyes at me, which was a major sign to just breathe and calm down.

I looked around the table, and everyone was basically finished with their meals. There were still remnants of food on my plate, but it wasn't too excessive.

Cleanup came and went, and we were all seated beside the tree exchanging gifts.

Bella started the gift giving process.

"This is for Carlisle and Esme," Bella announced while sliding a rather large, flat box wrapped in silver paper across the carpet.

I love how she is trying so hard to be the good girl right now, when the damage was already done. It's like she believes that sucking up to my family with gifts is going to smooth over this engagement. She is dead wrong.

Esme picked it up and brought it over to her and Carlisle. She lifted the wrapping paper and it revealed a frame. It was a frame with three pictures.  
Esme held it up for everyone to see.

The picture in the middle was the largest, and it was of the five of us on Thanksgiving. We were all sitting in the main room of our dorm, and were smiling. It was our tradition to take pictures on holidays of our family. That picture was black and white.

There were two other photographs that really caught my eye. One was of Emmett, Carlisle and me when I was probably four years old. We had gone fishing that day at the pond by our house. All I really recall from that experience was how ungodly hot it was. Also, I remember catching our fish and holding them up as the picture was taken. The third picture was of Alice and Esme, during the same trip. They were lounging in chairs under the umbrella. Alice was smiling wide, wearing a bikini and sunglasses. Esme was holding her in her lap and softly smiling.  
I hadn't seen these pictures in forever.

"I had a little help from Alice," Bella admitted.

By the time most of the gifts were open Bella had received a closet organizer and a Pandora bracelet from Alice and Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett decided to give Bella a German dictionary and Rosalie picked out a pair of Ugg Moccasins for her. In return Bella gave everyone their presents. I inhaled deeply as I found that my gift was the last one she'd be giving. I had to give her mine.

"Edward," Bella started to say. "I left your present at school, because I really wanted to give it to you in private."

"Same," I blurted out even before her words sunk in. She could've told me that my present was a lethal injection, it didn't matter. I was just going to stay on somewhat decent terms until we could sort this out privately.

"Alright, well I hate to leave, but I better get back before the roads ice over again," Bella said softly.

"Iz, I could always give you a ride!" Emmett offered loudly. We all knew his big Jeep can handle anything that got in its way.

Rosalie shot him a don't-get-into-it glare.

Bella smiled. "Thank you, Emmett, really. I just better get home now."

Yeah, she really should, before I have an aneurysm.

Bella said her goodbyes to everyone, and like usual, I was the last one.

"Goodbye, Bella," I said brokenly as I encircled her petite frame with my arms. I breathed in her scent, and relished in every aspect that made her unique. I softly stroked her dark hair with my fingers, feeling it against my fingertips brought back such vivid memories. Those memories were gone now, they would never happen again, and I would have to deal with that.

"Goodbye, Edward," Bella whispered into my shoulder.

I had a feeling that she was saying that in more ways than one.

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a/n- Well there you have it…Edward's crushed. This will be interesting now, won't it? **

**Reviews help kick my motivationally challenged ass into gear!**

**Anyone wanna guess what Emmett said when his mouth was full? Anyone?  
**


	18. We are Broken

**Disclaimer: Don't own it never have.**

**Author's Note: Bemylullaby here! Sorry for the short delay..it's been crazy lately...and I'm tired.**

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"Cause we are broken  
What must we do to restore our innocence  
And all the promise we adored  
Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole  
Lock the doors cause I'd like to capture this voice  
That came to me tonight  
So everyone will have a choice  
And under red lights  
I'll show myself it wasn't forged  
We're at war... We live like this"

-We Are Broken by Paramore

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When I pulled up to my house, I saw the shadow of someone sitting on the front porch steps.

"Jake, is that you?" I called out, stepping out of the car.

"Yeah, it's me." Jacob got up, running towards me to help with packages in my hands. "I thought I'd surprise you and be here when you got home."

Jacob leaned down, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

"Why were you sitting outside? You know just as well as I do that Charlie would've let you wait inside. I would've been just as surprised."

"Charlie's down with Billy at the Ateara's. He offered to give me his key, but I told him it'd be alright."

When we got to the door, I quickly opened it letting Jacob walk in first.

"How was Christmas with the...Cullens?" Jacob asked as he set the packages in his hands down on the floor. It didn't pass me that Jacob had trouble talking about the Cullens and honestly I could tell by the look on his face that he was just trying to be supportive.

"Eh..." I sighed.

"What's wrong?" I felt Jacob's arms wrap around me.

_You proposed, I said yes, Edward's angry, I disappointed everyone. What else could go wrong?_

"Nothing, it was just eventful. And that's to say the least."

"Do you wanna talk about it? You know I'm here for you, if you need it."

"Yeah, I know. I'd rather just leave it be." I started walking towards the stairs. "You staying?"

"Yeah." Jacob followed me up the stairs and into the room.

Quietly I got ready for bed, Jacob kicking his shoes off and laid down on my bed. When I laid down next to him, immediately he wrapped his arms around my body, pulling him close to me. This was exactly what I needed. Tonight had been interesting to say the least and right now all I wanted was to know that at least _someone_ cared.

* * *

The rest of the trip home went by in a dizzy whirl. I spent New Year's Eve, counting down with Jacob at Paul and Rachel's, with the "younger" crowd. I hadn't heard from anybody since I left the Cullen's house the day after Christmas. Frankly, I wasn't looking forward to going back to school. I knew things were going to get quite interesting, especially when it came to Edward.

When I walked into the kitchen of the dorm and dropped my bags on the floor, I noticed the living room was empty; the doors to the rooms were shut close. Was anyone even here?

"Hello? Anybody here?" My voice echoed through the walls.

Guess not.

After I got my things unpacked I decided it to curl up on the couch and read a little. It'd been awhile since I've actually been by myself, all by myself, that it was nice to just sit and relax. But it wasn't long until the front door was thrown open and the sounds of my roommates' laughter filled the room.

"Bella, you're home!" Alice exclaimed, leaving Jasper's side to pull me off the couch for a hug.

"I am."

Alice gave me a polite smile, draping her arms around me. "How was your flight?"

"Just fine, thank you."

"I didn't know you were coming home today. I thought it was tomorrow."

"No, it was today," I said, glancing over at Edward who was the last one to walk in. I needed to talk to him, badly. When I left their house from the Christmas dinner I couldn't help but feel like things weren't on the greatest of terms between us. I mean it's not like I didn't understand, because I did. I could have potentially fucked things over between me and him.

Which really wasn't the plan in the first place. I needed Edward, like a bad habit.

"Hey, Edward," I called out as he passed me on the couch.

"Yeah, hey..." he mumbled, waving me off, heading straight for his room. He didn't give me a side glance or anything.

As he passed by I saw the hurt look on his face and a little bit of my heart broke off. Nothing could've prepared me for the look on his face. If only I had the chance to talk to him before I got to the house, maybe things would've worked themselves out a little better. It didn't help that Alice flat out called me out on the ring the moment she saw it. Maybe it was my fault. If I was a strong enough to just tell Jacob 'no' in the first place or tell Edward about it before hand, things might be different.

"Don't mind him, Iz. He's just a bit e-m-o at the moment. Let's see that rock of yours." Emmett walked over to me, grabbing my hand.

"Em?"

Emmett looked down at me. "Yeah?"

"How long as he been _that_ grumpy?"

He laughed. "Since that Christmas dinner we had with you, Iz. Mom ripped him a new one right before we left. He spent the rest of his time moping around the house, it was depressing."

* * *

A month and a half had passed; things around the dorm weren't getting any better. Gradually as each week passed it was like the space between Edward and I was slowly getting bigger and bigger. The situation we put ourselves in soon became the giant elephant in the room and everyone saw it.

It was weird. If you wouldn't have known better, you might think that Edward and I didn't even know each other. We awkwardly danced around each other in the dorm, avoiding each other at all costs. I hadn't tried to talk to him, since the last time, and that didn't go so well....  
**  
Flashback:**

"Edward, I need to talk to you," I said, pushing myself off the brick wall I was leaning on. I had been waiting for Edward to get out of his class, in hopes to catch him and talk to him, get things cleared up.

He turned around at the mention of his name, but quickly turned back when he saw me. "I need to get to my next class."

"Edward, please." I reached out to grab his wrist, but he just pulled away.

"Bella, I don't have time for your silly little games, I have to be responsible and go to class."

"Let me walk with you then. We can talk and walk, I need to talk to you. I want to explain it to you, Edward."

"Yeah, well news flash, Bella, it's too late. You had your chance to talk to me the morning before you came over. We talked for a good thirty minutes as you got dressed and did you mention Jacob and his stupid little token of his love once?" He gestured to the ring still sitting on my finger. "No, you didn't. So as far as I'm concerned, you don't care, so I don't either."

"I wanted to talk to you about it in person. This wasn't exactly one of those over the phone type of conversations, Edward. You and I both know that if I told you over the phone, it would've been the last time I talked to you and I wouldn't have gotten to explain myself."

Edward stopped dead in his tracks and turned around slowly. "A little warning would've been nice. A quick 'Hey, Edward, I need to talk to you about something' would've worked. You came over no warning whatsoever. Dammit, Bella when we talked on the phone you let me go off about the places I wanted to take you when we got back to school. You kept letting me get my hopes up only to crush them in seconds."

"Edward, please give me a chance to explain," I begged.

"No. I told you, as far as I'm concerned, you and me..." He gestured to the empty space between us. "…are over. You hurt me, Bella. I'm not gonna lie. I mean I knew it wasn't going to be easy for us, I was prepared for that. I wasn't prepared for this. Just stop trying to _explain_ things to me or whatever. I don't care, I don't wanna know."

With that Edward turned back around and continued walking to class, leaving me standing alone in the middle of the walkway on the verge of tears.

**End Flashback.**

Since then, Edward started bringing the girls around the dorm, playing mister emo and drawing away from the group, which only made me feel awkward, because Edward was my tie in to the group. Without him, I was just the outsider to their tight knit family, even if that wasn't the case.

The door to the boys' room opened and Edward stumbled out with a pretty little red head, with a perfect face, nice tits, round ass and a fake smile. They were laughing and joking around like they were best friends.

"Edward, thank you for lunch," she giggled as they walked towards the door. Edward didn't even so much notice that I was sitting in the living room. I watched as the red headed bimbo slipped her hand into the back pocket of Edward's jeans. I could've sworn she grabbed his ass. "I'm sorry I have to duck out so quickly. I've got to meet my Lucy and Lizzie for coffee before our sorority meeting."

"No problem, it was my pleasure. Thank _you _for dessert, Nettie." Edward leaned down pressing a kiss to her lips quickly.

This is how things were with Edward now. When he wasn't in class, doing homework or hanging out with Jasper and Emmett he was either one of two things...

One being "Emoward", as Emmett calls it, where he trudges around the dorm slamming doors, shuffling his feet. Pretty much it lets everyone know he's depressed, yet won't talk to anyone about it.

Second being "Whoreward", which was the work of Rosalie. This second being of Edward came about a week and a half after we got back from Washington, when Rosalie walked in on him and some girl in the living room rounding to third base. After that we made the rule of keeping all relations in the confines of the rooms.

Truth be told, Whoreward seemed to make more of an appearance nowadays.

I'm not gonna lie, I was jealous. Watching Edward parade with a different girl every couple days was making me want to strangle each and every one of them with the excuse of jealous rage, yet vomit in mouth thinking about all the things he was doing with them.

"Oh, hi," Alice said, walking in just as Nettie was walking out.

Nettie didn't even say anything and continued making out with Edward.

"Bella, can I talk to you in the room?" Alice said politely as she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, sure." I set my book down and followed Alice into the room.

The moment the door shut, Alice started going off.

"What the hell is his problem?!"

"Alice, he's just being Whoreward, like he's been the past few weeks," I sighed, slumping down on the bed.

"Whoreward, Emoward, whatever. I'm fucking tired of these stupid games he's playing. I'm disgusted by the fact that my brother is picking up the local sorority pledges like it's some stupid game. I hate the fact that the two of you are skirting around each other like you don't even know one another. I'm over whatever stupid torrid love affair you two were having..."

I cut her off. There was no way that she needed to get her information confused. "Alice, Edward and I were having no such torrid love affair, as you call it."

"The hell you weren't! Tell me why is that my dear 'ol brother went into this deep emoward depression the moment he found out you were engaged? Why is that the moment you left the house in Forks, Edward locked himself in the music room only to bang away at that stupid piano of his? Why is it that when I tried talking to him about it he only mumbled under his breath. He mentioned you, him, Jacob and engaged, before brushing me off? Bella, what the hell is going on?!"

"Alice, think of it this way, Edward is just upset, plain and simple."

"Well, he needs to get un-upset and you two need to make up."

"I'm not apologizing for anything. He's the one that wouldn't let me explain myself."

"Well, have you tried?"

"Yeah, I did, first thing when I got back. All he did was yell at me, try to tell me I didn't care and walk away. Screw him, screw his stupid whoring ways, screw the fact that I _thought_ I loved him..." My hand flew over my mouth the minute the words fell out of my mouth.

"Oh my god! That's what it is. Holy fucking shit, sorry for my language, Bella, but hell--why--what are you? Explain!"

"Alice, it's complicated. When Jacob asked me to marry him I couldn't exactly say no to him. He cornered me into a wall, asked with all of our family and friends around on Christmas for Christ's sake! I was gonna talk to him about it later, turn him down, but then Edward had to go get his panties in a bunch. Now, I'm actually glad I'm still engaged to Jake, he's amazing, he's my best friend and he, unlike other people, actually care about me."

"Bella, my brother cares."

"Not enough to give me five minutes to explain." I got up off the bed. "Listen, I don't wanna talk about this, about Edward, anymore. I'm going out for a walk or something. I need fresh air."

I opened the door, stumbling into the living room. There was one place where I knew I could go without being interrupted. Heading out the door, I journeyed up to the roof of the dorm.

When I got up there memories of the night Edward and I spent up here flooded my mind. The way I felt in his arms, the way it felt to be loved. Then everything from the past month and a half came tumbling down. The depressing glances I got from Edward, to the chipper phone calls from Jacob. Really, Jacob had been my saving grace, as he should be. If it wasn't for him, I might have gone insane down here.

I don't know how long I stayed up there, but it was long enough to watch the sun peak behind the building of the college, the sky turning a mixture of oranges and reds. When I got back to the dorm, the door to the boys' room was open and Edward was currently standing in the kitchen, in between the legs of _another _girl. Who did he think he was?

Walking over to the kitchen I got a good look at the girl who was contaminating my counter tops. I could've sworn I'd seen her before somewhere. She had deep brown hair, pulled up into a messy bun held together with chopsticks. She looked perfect, she looked...like Nettie.

Edward was currently feeding her strawberries in between her coy giggles. This girl was pathetic and I wondered if she knew her sister was just here not ten minutes ago.

"Excuse me." I pushed past Edward towards the fridge.

"You're excused," he spat back.

Opening the fridge door I grabbed a bottle of water and headed towards Edward and his brunette toy.

"Hi, I'm Bella, one of Edward's roommates." I extended my hand out towards her.

"Oh, hi!" she exclaimed, pushing Edward's strawberry filled hand away. "I'm Elizabeth, call me Lizzie."

"Great to meet you, Lizzie. You wouldn't happen to be related to Nettie would you? I swear she looks just like you."

"Oh that's my sister, how do you know her?" Lizzie questioned.

Edward groaned, snapping his head towards me.

"Bella," he mumbled under his breath.

What a fucking douche.

"Oh, I've had her in one of my classes. She's a great girl, right, Edward?" And with that I walked towards the door.

I could hear Lizzie question Edward about knowing her sister which he just replied with a simple, "How could I not know your sister?"

* * *

I had no idea what was wrong with me tonight. For some reason I couldn't go to sleep. All the thoughts that wound up in my head were going a mile a minute, flickers of the past few months flying by. It was like my brain was laughing at me taunting me with the memories of every touch, kiss, cuddle with Edward. Tossing over once more I decided that maybe I needed to get up and walk around, get something to drink maybe.

When I walked out the room, there was a faint moan coming from the couch.

"What the fuck?" I muttered under my breath. I couldn't believe the scene unfolding in front of me. The softly glow of the TV was just enough to shed light on the two figures doing god knows what on the couch.

At the sound of my voice a head cocked up from the couch.

"Edward!" a female voice exclaimed, frantic. "There's-"

"Doesn't matter, Lucy, go with it, pretend there's no one there," Edward grunted, cutting the blond underneath off with a deep kiss, as he kept thrusting into her.

The tightening feeling in my chest came back, I felt like there was a black out in the middle of my body sucking everything inside of it. It was getting harder and harder for me to breathe and I was struggling to keep the tears back.

Edward was with yet _another_ girl, on _our _couch. I mean it was everyone's couch, but after all the time the two of us have spent on it, it's the center of...us. It was where we first connected.

At that moment in time I realized that no matter how Edward felt about me, we'd hit rock bottom. He can scream and slam doors all he wants, tell me he doesn't "care", fuck all the random girls he wants, but deep down I knew he cared. He was doing all those things to spite me. Well, I was going to take it anymore, I couldn't take it anymore.

I turned quickly back towards the room, rushing straight for my nightstand to grab my phone and ran into the bathroom. My eyes slid closed and my body collapsed against the door, as the tears began falling from my face.

It was over. I couldn't do it anymore.

Shakily my fingers dialed Jacob's number. I needed to talk to someone and he would have to be that someone.

"Hello?" His voice sounded groggy. "Bells?"

"Jake," I sobbed into the phone.

"Bella..." Jacob's voice perked up at the sound of my sobbing. "Bella, is everything okay? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just, I..." The tears were falling down at an alarming rate.

"Bella, take deeps breaths, I can't understand you. You need to calm down, so I can help you. Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good, you had me worried there for a second. Now what seems to be the problem. Why are you calling me in the middle of night crying, babe?"

Why was I calling him? I couldn't very well tell him why I was really crying.

"I just missed you and, and...Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's get married."

He laughed. "We are gonna get married, Bella. I asked you, you said yes. We're gonna wait until you're done with school-"

"No." I cut him off quickly. I needed to do this, now. If I didn't and things kept progressing the way they were I wasn't going to be able to deal with it. I was hoping that marrying Jacob as soon as possible would make things better. Or at least be the band-aid that made it feel better, the universal piece of duct tape that can fix anything. "Let's get married in the summer."

"Bella, what are you talking about? You said you wanted to wait, where is this all coming from?"

"Nowhere, I just can't stand to be away from you anymore. This summer, please, Jake?"

"Whatever you want, Bella, you can have. I don't want you to feel like I'm rushing you into anything."

"You're not. I mean why wait, we're gonna get married eventually. Why not do it now?"

"Okay, if that's what you want. Summertime it is..." Jacob's voice echoed in my head.

Please, God...make this work.

* * *

**Go ahead don't resist the urge to kick Bella's ass...**

**Um, quick announcement...check out my profile (bemylullaby) for details regarding a new contest I'll be co-hosting.."Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy". I promise, it is going to be pretty damn amazing!**

**That's all I've got...ta!**


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